Recollection
by Vicis Est Eternus
Summary: During a battle of some sorts, Noctis looses his memory. Wandering through Tenabrae, he knows only one thing. He's looking for someone, and that someone is the person he loves. NxLxS AU
1. Prologue

***Note* THIS IS IN NOCTIS" POV! **

**Recollection**

_By: Vicis est Eternus

* * *

_

The dark night was oppressing, and made even a smile seem downcast. Or, was it just my mood? The dark streets were illuminated by the dull streetlamps.

I walked down the dark street slowly. My feet stepped in front of each other. Slowly; I was in no rush.

I tried to remember… anything, really. Anything that I could beyond yesterday. My clothes were filthy and torn, and yet… I didn't know why. It must have looked like I was in a battle of some kind, perhaps I was, I just… didn't know for sure.

People avoided me, why, again, I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure of anything. While passing a store window, I got a glimpse of my reflection, my dark blue hair, my eyes, everything. I saw my reflection, but it was a stranger to me.

I had no wounds, even though there was dried blood on my skin, and every so often, I would catch a glimpse of something shimmering nearby. It would look like a piece of jewelry got caught in sunlight.

I haven't seen sunlight since I woke up.

Headaches came and went, but I ignored them. I seemed to be… numb. I couldn't remember anything, and yet, I knew I was searching for something. Or, was it a someone? Either way, this… drive gave me some sort of purpose, seeing as I couldn't remember any other purpose I had other than to search for something that I had no recollection of.

No… past memories, but, thankfully I was still aware and educated. I knew one thing from another, which clearly stated that I did have memories, and didn't just… appear on the barren land that I woke up in.

I sighed, or, did I just breath loudly? Either way, the pattern of my breathing was disturbed and it drew attention to myself. People, drunks, muggers, they were on the same streets as I was. I wondered what time it was.

No one approached me, I suppose that was explainable; I looked like I had been through hell and back, and lived to tell the tale. Or, at least, that was the first thought my mind gave me when I saw my reflection.

My clothes had cuts in them, dried blood, were ripped and torn. There was blood and dirt on my skin and hair. All of the evidence, and I had no idea what happened to me.

I suppose that I could guess, but I have no idea if war is going on or not. I pause in front of a bar. The noise coming from there is loud. I can smell the smoke and the alcohol.

Why did I pause? Why are my feet planted in front of the bar? Was I an alcoholic? I didn't know an answer to any of these questions.

I started to walk again. It was late, and I hadn't even slept since I woke up yesterday evening. I suppose that's odd, seeing as I haven't had any form of sleep in a day. Then again, I suppose its even odder to just walk through a city without even stopping to rest, let alone eat.

Then there was the fact that I knew I had to find something. Or, someone, either way, the need was nearly driving me mad. I raised a hand and touched my right temple gingerly. The large, black bruise covered from my temple to my ear. It was large, and even my light touch sent waves of pain through my head. It must be stupid of me to wonder why I'm having so many headaches. The bruise might as well come from someone hitting my head with a shovel - Very, very hard.

The sidewalk I was walking on was dirty; it had pieces of gum on it. The gum had been squished flat and changed colour from whatever it had been before to black.

I knew I was getting closer to the 'downtown' area. The buildings were getting taller and the lights became much more frequent. I knew I needed to find it, or, was it a person? Even then, I didn't know which gender. I couldn't say 'I need to find him' or, preferably 'I need to find her.' So, until I remembered, I suppose that I would just have to settle with 'it'. Referring to whatever I knew I needed to find as an object was much easier. That, and I didn't have to rack my brain and confuse myself for the answer.

The further I walked, the more I noticed that the dark street I was once on was getting brighter. Neon signs illuminated the night, lights flashed, and signs were lit up by electricity. It seems that I have reached the busiest section. Was it here?

Was what I looking for, something obvious, or well hidden? Will I know it when I find it?

Or was I doomed to forever search until I died?

All of the options looked bleak. I suppose that my future really has no happy ending. By the looks of it, I was in a battle of some sort, which meant that I was either war obsessed, or, very despised. Then again, I could have just been caught in the crossfire…

The bright lights were in my vision now. It wasn't that far of a walk to see them, though. The large, double lane street held almost no cars. This should be odd. But, then again, what did I know? Perhaps I walked on a movie set, perhaps I was dead - the possibilities were endless.

A young, blonde woman staggered out into the street. Her long, wavy blonde hair caught my attention. Why this seemed important was beyond me. Was the person who I was looking for blonde? Or, was it someone that I wanted to avoid? I paused right in front of the road.

If I kept asking myself questions I had no answers to, I knew that I would definitely go insane. The blonde woman was hardly attractive, and the face completely unfamiliar…. Except her hair.

It was the same as… My memory failed me. Then again, all it has so far is failed me. What was so special about this random person's hair? The colour was most likely not natural, and dyed instead. Would dyed hair be some connection to my life? I hoped to Etro that that I wasn't a hairdresser. If I was, then the possibility that I hired someone to beat me half to death was high.

Annoyance. That one emotion seemed to be the only thing that I felt as of late. Well, it's the only thing that I have felt a majority of since yesterday.

Surprise, anger, and annoyance. Those three were the only emotions that I have any recollection of feeling.

Did I love someone who was blonde? That was a possibility. Yet, it didn't matter if I did or didn't, the woman who was desperately trying to get back into the building that she came out of was no one I remembered. If she was connected to me, I defiantly did not want to remember.

I continued on, crossing the street. There were no cars and the streets were deserted. The lights inside the buildings were off, the only lights were actually the advertisement lights that were on a timer. How late was it? I didn't feel tired, not in the slightest. My eyelids did not droop; my mind was clear and aware.

What was wrong with me?

The cloudy sky was dark, but it covered the entire sky above my head, not allowing a single hint that there were stars behind it. Then I realized, that even if the night was clear, the possibilities that one would be able to see stars was still slim. Pollution, lighting, human development hindered the possibility of seeing stars in a city. I chuckled quietly. Did I always analyze everything this much? Or was it just because I lost my memories, and fact was the only thing I had left? The second option seemed more likely.

"Hey." A feminine voice commanded. I didn't want to stop, I knew who it most likely was. I really didn't want to hear. 'Don't I know you?' or anything along those lines. I did not want to know her. Still, I stopped, though I was tense, I knew my face didn't show any emotion at all. I turned slightly, just to make sure who it was. The same woman with the blonde hair stood behind me. I really didn't know what she wanted.

"What?" I asked her quietly. I made certain that my face was blank. That way, she couldn't think that a certain expression I wore related to what she wanted.

"You get beat up?" She asked stupidly, her dull brown eyes were unnecessarily wide. She looked like an idiot. 'You get beat up?' I could find many different things wrong with that sentence. The grammar, the fact that, yes, obviously I got beaten up, and the third, was why in the hell did she care?

"It's nothing." I told her. I wanted out. I didn't want to be here, and be subjected to her pestering questions.

"But, you have blood all over you!" She shrieked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Did she not notice the blood at first? I really didn't want to answer her. My body was tense, and I wondered if she could actually pick up on my body movements. I hoped not. While I found my face easy to control, my body movements were out of the question. Someone who noticed would figure me out easily, I guess. Either way, I couldn't stop it, that, and the girl who was staring at the dried blood in horror wasn't all that bright.

"So?" I questioned. My tone was harsh, and hurt immediately registered on her ugly face. I wondered if I was always this way towards women; was it just towards her? Her pig-like nose scrunched up in anger. Her eyes squinted, making her face even more unappealing. I realized with shock that she was scowling at me.

"Fine. Just trying to be helpful." She scoffed, and then took off, strutting away from me. Her high heels made her walk strangely; she kept loosing her balance.

I thought about how she would complain about how ridiculous and pointless high heels would be-

I froze, I could practically hear a commanding, feminine voice speak. I could hear how they would grumble and her tone would be disapproving.

And yet, there wasn't a name, or a face, or any other thought that connected to it. I scowled at the ground, and clenched my hands into fists. Anger, was feeling I felt, though annoyance was still there, I was angry at whatever part of me made me forget.

Did the voice that I just heard belong to a woman with blonde hair? Or, were their two different people, one with blonde hair, and another with a commanding voice?

I forced myself to relax, letting my hands go limp at my side, and my facial expression to drop. I started to walk up the street again. I knew I still needed to find it. Or, was it a her now? So far, the only things my mind remembered belonged to a female human. Both of them, the voice, and the hair, was I looking for them both? Or, was I looking for only one? The questions were really starting to get to me.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so, here is the first chapter in response to Dawn's challenge #1. Read and enjoy. This is an LightingxNoctis StellaxNoctis fic, cause he can't remember who he is looking for. Does it meet your expectation dawn? *shoves cookie into mouth* I have a REALLY big mouth! _


	2. Prologue 2

**Recollection**

**By: Cassandra.L.K. **

It had been exactly four minutes and thirty two seconds since I last saw a face. Any face, it didn't matter if it was just a brief glance, it had been four minutes and thirty two seconds since I saw anyone.

I didn't want it to, but the loneliness was starting to agitate me. Who knew, just seeing another face, didn't make you feel so alone? The fact that one could be in a crowd, yet feeling alone was completely inaccurate. The simple fact that someone is there is good enough to know that your not alone. It is merely the person's perspective. I had never felt so alone before.

I laughed aloud at the stupidity of my own thought. There was no one around to notice though, so I didn't have feel any insecurity about it. 'I never felt so alone before', I didn't remember anything further than yesterday. That thought was inaccurate in its own right.

I wonder when something will happen. Something must happen, I refused to believe that I was doomed to this pitiful existence for the rest of my life, so, logically, something must happen. Something has to happen that will take a mark in my history, and be memorable. Perhaps, this time I would actually be able to recall it.

To pass the time, I thought briefly on what happened when I woke up. I remember…

There was a loud noise behind me. I wonder what made me so jumpy, because when I heard it, a spun around to face the noise, my position in that of the defensive. Was my life really that bad that my first reaction to the slightest noise was defense? I suppose it would be worse if it was offense, but…

"Do-Do I know yah?" A slurred voice reached my ears through the darkness. I forced myself to stand straight and look the newcomer head-on. He was a middle-aged man, as far as I could tell. He hid in the darkness of the street, beside some garbage cans. He walked closer to me, staggering and loosing his balance. He laughed then, the noise sounded more like he was breathing heavily in more than anything. He had a rough hat on, fingerless gloves and thick, torn coats on. His shoes were falling apart at his feet. He was homeless, and most likely drunk as well.

"No." I told him. I really didn't want to know this man. What would that say of my life then? Still, I shouldn't be rude.

"Ye-" He coughed. "Yeah, I've seen yah before. Hanging around Blondie." He slurred, he smiled, and laughed again. He leaned against the wall of the building. My instincts didn't tell me to run, but told me to get this over with quickly. I suddenly felt very urgent – wait, he said Blondie. That could be…

"Who was I with?" I asked him. Why this man, out of all the people I saw, had to be the one that had seen me before, was beyond me. Perhaps Etro was testing me, or, was it another Goddess?

"Hell should I know. Pretty little thing she was… Round about the marry go…" His voice faded away as he walked back where he came from. Though the lack of information was a nuisance, still, I got _something. _That was better than nothing at all. I wouldn't bother the man, I know I wouldn't because it was obvious ne knew nothing more, either that, or I just couldn't be bothered with it. I couldn't be sure… Laziness was something I would like to believe a quality that I did not possess.

I was acquainted with a blond woman. That… was very interesting. That fact that the person I was looking for might be blond held no assurance for me. It meant… next to nothing. People died their hair all the time, looking for a blond woman… wherever I was, was like looking for a piece of sand in a beach. A needle would be too easy to find.

I shook my head and sighed. I was getting too caught up with things. I doubted that it was a matter of life and death that I find it – or, her – but still.

What could I possibly do? I had no idea who I was, even if small snippets of memories made themselves known to me, it would be useless. Stop it. I commanded myself. I needed to slow down and just… think about my next move. Wandering through streets was the most unintelligent course of action I could possibly take. I needed to be calm, and plan ahead.

What could I possibly do though? Would the best course of action be to find out who I was, or who she was? Finding out about myself would be the most logical thing to do, seeing as if I knew who I was, it wouldn't be that far off to finding out who she was. Or, while I was finding out about myself, would she forget? Would she get mad, or…

I was being an idiot. Worrying over a woman's reaction, I didn't even remember her! Was the blonde woman the one I associated with the voice? I sure hoped so, that way my search would be narrowed considerably. Why did she matter anyhow? Was it because I knew with my entire being that she was important? Or, was… I was clinging onto the small fact that I might actually remember someone so tightly. If I squeezed too hard, I was scared that the feeling, the… familiarity would choke, and turn to dust, leaving in this world without memories or any purpose.

With all the thinking, it took me awhile to realize that my feet were still moving me, pushing me forward. When was daylight going to show itself? I grew rather tired and bored of the night. Was it because I felt one with the shadows? Or was it simply because I felt so at home in the darkness, that I wanted to feel – even in my subconscious – that I was in a foreign place. I didn't remember this place, so, I should logically not feel comfortable… anywhere, really.

The street lamps were starting to turn off. Now, as I walked, I saw the lamp right ahead of me flicker off. Of course, there were still some lamps burning and producing light, but the fact that they were starting to turn off told me that daylight was coming, or, seeing as there was still a thick ceiling of clouds above my head, daylight hours.

_Lightning._

Lightning? Why would just a word seem more important than the rest? Was it because the clouds above my head could easily become storm clouds, and behind to unleash a thunderstorm at any time? That must be it. Perhaps I was afraid of lightning. To me, that seemed silly, lightning was just that, _light_. Then again, memories can easily change one's perspective on anything. Perhaps I had a bad experience with lightning, and my subconscious was merely warning me that I was afraid of it. That had to be it, seeing as lightning certainly couldn't be what I was looking for, it was light, a discharge of electrons. I would like to think that my life meant more than that.

I felt a tap on my arm. Immediately I froze and turned sharply. My eyes scanned directly in front of me, but found nothing more than the street. I smiled. I was such a idiot. I looked down to what appeared to be a nine-year old girl. Of course, while I was pondering on why lightning would be important, I started to walk into a neighborhood. The tall townhouses were all dark and menacing looking. Yet, with the neighborhood's gloomy appearance, the small person in front of me still looked innocent.

She had wide brown eyes and matching hair. Her hair stopped at her waist. She had a skipping rope in her hand. I looked at her questioningly. Immediately she averted her gaze to the sidewalk. I wonder what she's thinking. I followed her gaze. She was…

I groaned aloud. "It's okay. I'm fine." I told her. The little girl wasn't looking at the sidewalk at all, instead, she was looking at my arm, the arm that was covered in dry blood and the sleeve it was covered in had cuts and tears. She looked back up at me. She nodded slightly, before running off. I turned around, back in the direction I was originally headed.

The way I looked seemed to draw tons of attention. I was beginning to tire from all of the annoying questions, even if the only ones so far was from some drunk blonde, and the other from a seemingly mute child. Either way, I knew I couldn't go on forever like this. Perhaps I could go to the doctor, get myself checked out. That way I might know something more about my memory loss. Then there was the question 'what if'.

I decided that I hated that question. It was that same question that I based off of many of my own. What if I was this, what if I knew this person… what if I was a criminal, and going to the hospital would only ensure my own capture. Though I didn't know a damn thing about myself, I was certain that I did not want to go to jail. I didn't want to deal with the pressure and the confinement. It was… strange, when I imagined myself in prison, I instantly recoil, when I picture myself killing someone… nothing.

Have I killed before? I could imagine myself doing so with ease. Like the lives I took were nothing…

_They were the enemy._

Was that true? Did I kill because it was my duty, because the people I killed were my enemies? Surely each death that was by my hands wasn't _all _self-defense. It was strange… but the questions I was asking myself were actually getting answered. I had proof for them. I was looking for someone with blonde hair… well, that was a lead, it was an educated guess and I was going to stay by it. That I killed before… first the small voice telling me so, but that could be simple symptoms of insanity, but… there was more proof to that as well. I didn't doubt my own abilities when it came to killing. I was jumpy and my reaction to people sneaking up on me was for me to face the threat and immediately prepare for it. There were many different reasons why I had proof that I killed before, mostly because, I was covered in blood, and I didn't doubt that whoever attacked me didn't leave without some wounds of their own.

I was being sidetracked. I needed to answer one question. I knew it was simple, because it didn't involve who I was or what I did or anything of that sort. Do I go to a hospital, or go to a police-

Hospital, defiantly. Hospitals at least had an obligation to help you before they judge. So, I know had a plan… the only new question was where was the nearest medical facility?

Time must have passed, because, as I walked on through the streets, there were more people than before. That, and the light got brighter. I wondered what time it was exactly. The section of the city I was now in was more like a small town by the looks of it. Though of course I knew that it must still be part of the same city, by the look of the buildings and the stores, this part of the city just got added at a later date then when it was created. It happened, where cities would grow and consume the smaller towns and join them together. I was not surprised. There were small houses, with lawns. There were bunches of children walking ahead of me, all carrying school bags. Must be around seven a.m. Later, perhaps, but the time was still around seven.

It was no wonder why children avoided me like the plague, but I didn't care about that at the moment. I could ignore the big yellow school bus; I really didn't care about that. I needed to find at least one adult, to ask. Preferably one that wasn't still walking with their own child; I didn't want to scare any one. Sighing, I changed my course. Instead of walking up the same street, I turned into one of the yards towards one of the houses. The brick was bright red, and the garage door was light blue. Strange combination, but the garden was well cared for and the lawn was cut. Overall the house looked like a very suitable place to live, and it also looked like it held no threat for me here.

The pathway up to the front door was made of cobblestones in a interesting design. The garden began where the stone ended, paralleling the path all the way up to the door. I wondered vaguely if the owner would scream when they saw me, and slam the door on my face… were they even home? There was a blue minivan in the driveway…

I approached the door. The door was the same colour as the garage door; so, I suppose the owners were looking for some sort of colour combination. There was a small doorbell on the right side of the double door entrance. Leaning, I reached over to push it. My finger put pressure on the small circle, and immediately I heard the loud ringing from inside. I took back my hand and waited. Inside I could here moving.

'Coming!' I heard faintly. The voice was muffled through the walls and doors. Only a moment later, the door opened. The door revealed a middle-aged woman who looked like she was in her thirties. Her short thin hair was pulled up into a ponytail and her blue eyes were looking up at me. She had gardening gloves tucked between her right arm and ribs. I noticed her eyes scan over me, and watched as her eyebrows knitted together.

"Can I help you?" She asked politely. For the first time, I was at a lost for words. Was it because I forgot how to be polite? No, that wasn't it, it was more… her life seemed so normal. I felt as if I was intruding on something. I was making her waste her time on me. She had a life, most likely children, and was living a happy life. The oddity of that simple fact must have left be speechless. "Is there something you want?" She asked again. This time her tone was slightly more aggravated. That was completely understandable.

"Oh, right," I shook myself out of my thoughts, seeing as I was so comfortable in them, it wasn't the easiest thing to do. "Do you know where the closest hospital is?" I asked her. She laughed a little.

"Looks like you need that." She noted. I smiled. Her sarcasm actually made me smile, I didn't think that my face was capable of that. "The hospital is… hold on, I'll get you a map…" She excused herself and closed the door. I briefly heard the door being locked. I wondered why. Was this a bad neighborhood, or was she just scared of me? I don't know why, but I felt sub-conscious just standing there. I could feel the curious eye on my back. I wish they would just go away.

It wasn't long before the I heard the lock click open and for the same woman to come out. She held out a paper for me.

"I have a newborn, we had this map out for the longest time!" She explained. She gestured for me to take the paper in her hand, I complied, the paper crinkled when I took it from her.

"The red lines are different routes to the closest hospital by road. Sorry if they're a bit messy." She explained, she hung onto the door and leaned onto it. I looked at the map. The symbol the referred to the hospital was circled around many times. I could see by the way that all of the lines started from one section that it was my current location.

"Thank you." I told her. She nodded. She had no reason at all to help me, and yet she did. For that, I was grateful. "Goodbye." I told her awkwardly. I felt like an idiot because of it. She was just looking at me expectantly before I actually muttered my farewell. She nodded and smiled her goodbye to me, and closed the door. I could hear the lock slid in from where I was. I turned around, facing the road, and looked down onto the map.

Studying the map, I quickly mapped out the fastest route. It would still take some time to get there… there was no time like the present, I suppose. I walked back onto the sidewalk. When my feet actually hit the sidewalk, I was beginning to fold the map in half. Why? I had no idea, there was no real reason as to why, I just felt like it. A question that I should have been asking was why I felt a need to understand everything I did. If I understood why I did something, then it would be easier to figure out who I was. Who I was right now.

I stopped when I reached the stop sign, and looked down to the map, no, this wasn't the turn, it was the next stop sign…

I sighed and continued on. I wondered where all the cars were, after the busses left, it seemed that no one was outside. I could almost believe that I was in a ghost town. In fact, if it weren't for the odd people I saw here and there, I would have believed in that theory completely.

My thoughts wandered here and there… and tried my hardest to keep track of them, but whenever I tried to recount the topics I thought upon and the topic and my opinions on it, but whenever I started, I would begin to think about something else.

"_Noctis!"_

I instantly turned around at the frightened voice. I knew whom it belonged to; it belonged to the woman with blonde hair. It was the same as the voice that I could hear clearly about the , did it just belong to the person who I remembered the voice for?

The two different things I remembered: A woman's blonde hair and a strong, feminine voice could belong to two completely different people, but it was easier to consider them both only one person.

When I looked back, and scanned the area…

I found no one. There was no person-yelling out. No one at all. I stilled, and continued to let my eyes roam over the street. There wasn't a single soul who could have yelled out the name. Was it my name? I didn't know. It could be possible.

Was I remembering things? Was that what all of the small little things meant? That my name was Noctis, that I needed to find someone with blonde hair, that I was terrified of lightning? Or, was I obsessed with lightning?

I once again got lost in my thoughts as I followed the way to the hospital. I would imagine that this route would take around ten minutes to drive to. That didn't mean much for me since I was walking. That, and I couldn't just-

What was it that I couldn't do? I had it right there, right at the tip of my tongue. It was right _there._ I stopped and growled at myself, and stared at the cement beneath my feet. Come on, what was it?

"_Please come to Tenebrea if you have the time. I'll show you around." _

This time, another voice whispered at the back of my ear. The sound was so sweet, so… I tilted my head. Tenebrea… I knew someone from Tenebrae. That was defiantly a good start. I almost took off in another direction right then. My body was turned before I even realized it. I froze, my foot still hovering a little above the ground. I still needed to go to the hospital, that, and I had no idea where Tenabrae was… just… going along with my original plan would be the smartest move.

Well, I thought so, at least.

The time it took to get to the hospital actually surprised me. It mustn't have been… five minutes from the time I considered changing my course of action. The tall building loomed overhead. The building was a faded grey. There were marks on it that told me the building was old and… to confess it reminded me of some sort of horror film. I mustn't like hospitals then. Either way, I was already there, there was no point at all for me to leave. I started towards the doors of the hospital.

The name written on the sliding glass doors. 'St. Michael's Hospital.' It was almost a welcome, but I dismissed it. I forced my body to walk inside it, despite how much I didn't want to.

I suppose memories were also imprinted in your body, and not just your mind. My body remembered things I couldn't recall.

It was highly infuriating. The doors opened at my approach, and showed that they held nothing sinister inside. Once I passed through the sliding glass doors, the smell one would associate with hospitals immediately hit me. It smelled like death, blood, and medicines… I wondered how I could tell those three apart from the rest. It could be because of practice, if my appearance told me anything, it told me that I could fight. Fighting was usually associated with death and war, and blood. Medicine was the only obvious one, something I as certain everyone could pick up on. There weren't that many people there, then again, I did enter the front door, and everyone else would just go to the emergency section. There was a reception desk just a few meters away. Here it was clean, and on the walls there were hand sanitizer bottles in a small dispenser on the walls. It was white, it hurt to see, the walls were white, the floor was white with black specks on them –scuffmarks on the tile. The person behind the desk was a bored looking man. I guessed he was older than me, but what did I know about my real age? I walked up to him. He was focused on the computer.

"Excuse me?" I called out to him. Immediately the man jumped and focused his attention on me.

"Oh, hey! Didn't see you there, what can I do for you? Got a relative you want to see?" He asked, suddenly very attentive. I suppose he was bored. There were plenty of chairs all around, and behind him was shelves full of files.

"I need to see a doctor." I told him. He seemed honestly taken aback by this.

"Oh, okay, who's your doctor?" He asked. "And, I'll need your name too, to set up an appointment." He told me. His thin blonde hair was thinning, he was going bald.

"That's-that's why I need a doctor. I-I don't _know_-" I started.

"You're doctor's name?" He guessed. He wasn't making this easy. I shook my head.

"No, well, yes, I-" I paused, took a deep breath in, and let it out. "I don't know anything. I can't _remember_ anything." I told him. I growled out the 'remember.' Realization dawned on his face.

"Okay, okay, I'll see if any doctor's are available." He then picked up a phone and started to talk into it. I didn't pay attention to his words, seeing as the gist of what he was saying was 'are there any doctor's available? Well, how about…' There were only four other people here other than me and the man who was trying to find me a doctor.

One of the people was a woman who was working on a crossword puzzle, the other three were a family, there was a mother trying to calm her hyperactive toddler, while the girl I supposed was the daughter was sleeping on the seat.

"Sorry, you'll have to wait." He told me. I nodded and walked over to take a seat. I propped my elbow onto the hand rest and leaned my head on my hand.

"_I understand."_

The soft voice whispered. It was the same voice that invited him to Tenebrae. Understand? Understand what? I really wanted to know.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter is eight pages long. With a total of 4,011 words. You SO better thank me! Actually, you don't. REVIEW! Oh, and for this story to work, Lightning CANNOT be an I'Ciel. Or, whatever it is. She was born and raised in Tenabrae. Okay? I'm using her, but changing where she's from etc. etc. Blah, blah, oh, and vote on the poll on my profile, 'Who will get Noctis?' REVIEW! I BEG YOU! *look, I'm crying at the thought of getting NOTHING! _


	3. Tenabrae

**Recollection**

_By: Cassandra L. K.

* * *

_

The eyes were on me. They all were, all the eyes in the room were staring at me. Only at me. Why? I could take a really good guess. The person behind the desk seemed to finally be noticing my attire. While the rest of the people in the waiting room were gawking at it, he seemed determined to pretend not to notice. The woman working on the crossword kept looking at me from the corner of her eye. I must admit; she was quite good at being discreet. The mother kept looking up at me with fearful eyes. It was almost as if they knew something I didn't. Well, that was likely, but still, they looked like I was about to explode and become some sort of monster. The two children, the little girl and the toddler were looking at me as well. The toddler's wide eyes just looked at me curiously, his wide eyes seemed to be the only pair of eyes that weren't filled with some sort of fear. Even his sister looked at me wearily.

It was then that I noticed the mother's eyes widen. If you were to ask me, I could have sworn that her eyes widened with recognition. I carefully watched her as her movements became shaky, and she hugged her children closer together. I saw from the corner of my eye that her children were struggling, their clothes were bunched together. Their mother must have been holding them very tightly.

Was it because she knew who I was, and was automatically scared, or was it just because of my tattered clothing and bloodstained skin? I raised an eyebrow slightly at her. No one would notice, of course, it was only a way for me to express some sort of feeling without having any unwelcome eyes seeing it. I sighed; of course I made the sound inaudible. I wondered what trivial things my mind could come up to pass the time. Something that didn't have me on edge every second my thoughts continued.

So, I thought about the colour red. Why? I didn't really know. Trying to come up with a topic to set my thoughts on was rather difficult, really. First, I had to think ahead and make sure that the topic wouldn't somehow lead to me having no memories. Red was the first thing suitable that my mind could come up. I wondered if the lack of sleep was getting to me, seeing as I was planning to think about red. Or, was I already thinking about it?

Red was just a colour. I understood that.

Hmm, this topic was very monotonous. How many times could I possibly analyze red? Red was the colour of blood. That was easy, seeing as I was covered in the red substance. It stuck to my skin and was scratchy. I wondered briefly whose blood it was.

No, I needed to take my mind off of that. Red, red, red… red was the colour of… blood, leaves in autumn, the colour of my e-

"No! I told you no, Brittney!" A shrilly, annoyed voice broke me out of my ponderings. If you ask me, she couldn't have done that at a better point in time. Of course she had to pull me out of my thoughts, just as I was about to remember something. Damn her. I narrowed my eyes slightly in frustration. I know I shouldn't feel any sort of resentment towards her, and yet, I couldn't help but to. So many emotions, and yet, really, I didn't know where they originated from. It was almost as if I was trying to guess the personality of a very complex and difficult character to read from a book. I could read the book over and over again, but really, I would never be able to establish what kind of person he was.

What aggravated me even more was that I was said character.

I noticed the mother from the corner of my eye. What she was doing, or, what was going through her mind at the moment was unknown to me. I found myself not liking the fact that I didn't know why she was reacting the way she was. I had this odd feeling, like I knew I was able to do something about it, but I couldn't remember what it was. I watched as she stood up, her daughter trailing her, he son in her arms. She walked up to the man behind the desk.

The woman with the crossword was looking at her oddly. I saw her hold the crossword and pencil in her right hand, the other near her mouth. Her forefinger lightly touched her upper lip. Her eyebrow was slightly raised. I studied her from the corner of my eye, since she seemed just as confused as to the mother's actions as I did. It was almost as if said mother was expecting something bad to happen.

The woman with the crossword had long dark brown hair, and light brown eyes. I took note how young she was. The contrast between her and the mother was shocking.

The mother had graying blonde hair. There were frown lines stretched into her face and a stern… aura, I suppose. Her clothes were typical, with a beige shirt on, and jeans. She looked like she was slightly overweight.

The woman with the crossword was young, with no lines whatsoever on her face. Though I couldn't call her stunning, or breathtakingly beautiful, she was so far, the youngest and best looking female I have seen. She wore jeans and a baggy red shirt. Her nails were painted black, which I thought was ridiculous. There was no reason to have black nails, and clearly, she felt she had an image to retain. However, to my relief, she wore no make up, and therefore was somewhat comfortable in her own skin.

I watched as the mother leaned into the desk to murmur some words to the man behind the desk.

Of course I studied him even more closely. I watched as he froze and looked over to me. Why? Really, I wanted to know. Or, did I? Once his eyes met mine, he quickly looked away and nodded to the mother. The next thing I know is that he's picking up the phone and punching in some numbers. So I was correct, I was some sort of criminal, if my assumptions were correct, he was alerting the authorities. No, I was just being paranoid. There was no proof that he was doing anything, the mother was probably just worried about the amount of blood on me, and told him to find me a doctor quickly.

I didn't know if this was a lie to myself, seeing as I didn't know what was happening, well, I did know, but I was still unsure of the consequences. I watched as the woman with the crossword puzzle rolled her eyes and stood up, discarding the crossword and the writing utensil behind. She walked up to the man who was on the phone, and waved a hand rudely in front of his face. The mother looked disgusted that she was so rude, and the man she was trying to get attention for looked annoyed, and waved her off. I was finding their interaction actually amusing.

"Hey, sir? I _really_ need to go up and see my aunt now. I'm late for something!" She told him, rather loudly. The mother had her attention on the woman completely now, as did the man behind the desk.

"I'm busy, you'll see her soon." He told her. "She's almost out of surgery, be patient." He told her, and then went back to the conversation on the phone that I couldn't hear.

The woman that had the crossword puzzle sighed, aggravated, and turned around. The other two – the children were hovering by their mother, in their own little world – were focused on the young woman, she was looking right at me. She walked back over and picked up her crossword. Then, I watched as she made her way over to me.

This, of course, shocked me beyond belief. It was almost strange, that I was here, and not just a spectator watching this scene as it unfolds. I was one of the characters, and it seemed as if my role was coming up. She sat down, right next to me. Why? I didn't know. Then again, I didn't know much of anything at all, these days.

"You know, it's pretty dangerous for you to be in Tenabrae, these days." She murmured, but she wasn't looking at me. Instead, she went back to her crossword, her body leaned away from mine. Though it didn't look like it, I was almost certain that she was talking to me. Wait, dangerous for me to be in Tenabrae, did that mean that I already was there? In the city, or, whatever it was, that the unknown woman that I remembered asked me to go to?

"What?" I asked her. She sighed, aggravated.

"You're not on their side, right? The enemy of Tenabrae, you really shouldn't be here, in fact, you should probably leave right now." She told me, her voice was muffled, and it was hard for me to make out what she was saying.

"What?" I asked her stupidly again. She sighed, aggravated. And looked in my general direction.

"Those two are from Tenabrae, I'm not, and that's why I'm helping you. If you don't leave soon… _sir_ I have no doubt, that you'll get caught and thrown in jail." She told me. I was shocked. How, how did this unknown person know so much? Well, considering that I didn't know a thing about myself, that wasn't that hard.

"Listen, leave now, and you won't get caught, go back home sir." She murmured to me again, turning her attention back to the crossword. "Before the police come… or the army, whichever he's calling. I'm betting it's the army that's coming." She talked like she was talking to herself, trying to figure out the crossword. Very clever, but, still.

I didn't know if I should leave, or, was just thinking about leaving a mistake? Was she trying to set me up for something else? Would leaving be too suspicious, so therefore I wouldn't be able to leave? Etro, these questions were really starting to get to me.

Let me think out the facts. This woman, probably the same age, if not younger than I, comes and sits beside me and warns me that if I don't leave, then I'll get caught and thrown into jail. If she was speaking the truth, just sitting here, thinking this over was idiotic, but really, I should…

Go, or stay? I suppose, considering that there really is nothing wrong with me … other than my memory loss, I was perfectly healthy. Unless I had some sort of disease.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked her, whispering, though I'm certain that I wasn't nearly as good at concealing the fact that we were conversing half as well as she did, I really didn't care.

"Of course I do! Leave already, before we _both_ get arrested." She hissed back at me.

I would have asked who I was, but the urgency in her voice seemed almost to the point of desperation.

"Why?" I asked her.

"We are behind the enemy lines, if they find out that I'm not a Tenabrain, I'll get arrested with you!" She hissed. My questions must have annoyed her, because she rolled up the crossword, and stood back up. She walked over to the man behind the desk and asked him where the bathroom was. He pointed the way out for her. I watched as she walked away.

I decided that I really didn't want to chance it. I stood up as well, and began to walk out. The man behind the desk must have noticed me, because he began to yell out his protests. I ignored him, and quickened my pace. I really didn't want to end up being arrested because I didn't heed someone's warning. Not only would I consider myself idiotic for eternity, but also I would have time to think about what might have been if I did get caught.

I don't even know why I was worrying about being caught. Perhaps it was because the woman said that it was because she wasn't a Tenabrain – I supposed that was a person from Tenabrae – and she said that I wasn't one too. Or, she didn't, and that was the assumption that I made, either way, I really didn't want to be the thoughtless person in this whole mess.

I made my way away from the hospital, completely forgetting about the woman that I might have been searching for. If I was caught, I wasn't really doing anything to find her, now was I? Or, them, I wasn't really doing anything to find them – or her.

The further away I got from the hospital, the more relaxed I became. I let my mind wander. I didn't even keep track of my thoughts, I just, well, really, I just examined what happened so far, and tried to piece together what I couldn't remember. Nothing new, just the same thing that I have been thinking about since yesterday.

The sounds of sirens broke me out of my thoughts. The first thing I thought was that they were after me, but quickly I discarded the thought. The chances that anyone actually could find me were slim. I took odd turns and was now in a back street. Of course, the main street was right behind me, but I was covered by the comfortable shadows that ensured my safety.

I let myself relax some more. I wasn't in trouble; I wasn't going to get caught. Even if those police were after me – the chance was slim to none – they would never find me. I felt as if I blended into the shadows, the only thing that was really noticeable was my pale complexion. I wondered if where I came from, if there wasn't much sun. It would be a plausible guess…

Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, I was back on a main street, in a place that was unrecognizable.

It was then that I heard the sirens again. I turned halfway, to see them speeding on the road. I wondered what had them so hyped up; surely, it couldn't be me.

I watched as the police car slowed down once it neared me. I could feel my heart speeding up, but I refused to let a single emotion to slip past my face. My body movements, however, were another story. The police car came to a complete stop, and I watched as two officers scrambled out of it, each holding their guns, ready. I backed up. This wasn't good.

"Freeze!" One of them said, he was thin and gangly, and quite frankly, looked like a twig, but he had the gun, and the gun was ready to fire. I did as told. This seemed to confuse the two officers. What? Were they expecting me to fight back? The other officer made his way toward me handcuffs in one hand. I found myself thinking that was amusing, him, thinking he could handcuff me? Why I thought that it was amusing was beyond me.

"You're coming with us!" The twig man told me. Yes, I obviously was, I wondered why he needed to point out the obvious. The other man neared me. I tensed up, waited for me to-

Gah, why couldn't I just remember? Why couldn't I just remember why I felt like they were no threat at all, even though they clearly had the advantage? It was awfully annoying. What confused me even more was that my heart rate seemed to slow down, as if I was completely safe from danger, and possible relaxed and calm. It was infuriating, to say the least. The man with the handcuffs came up to me, and put my right hand into the handcuff, before collecting the other, and roughly pulling both hands behind my back. He put my left hand into the handcuff, and then made sure it was secure.

I found this situation laughable for a very unknown reason. The man roughly shoved me into the cruiser. Why did he feel the need to be rough? He must have insecurities about–

The door was slammed hard. I let a small smile form on my face, again, I didn't know why, but these cops were no threat at all. The police officers got inside and started the engines. They began to talk, about how they 'couldn't believe he got him' and 'I can't believe he came with us so easily' and 'he's not so dangerous, I told you they were all rumors.' I kept tabs on the conversation, and was able to extract from the information given, that I was someone dangerous, terrifying, and not from Tenabrae. This news didn't disturb me as much as I expected. Though the thought of being captured still sent my heart beating faster than normal, right now…

I decided that I must be in shock that I actually got arrested, even when I heeded the woman with the crossword's warning. Well, I didn't really heed it that well, considering that I was still in the city… or country, and let my own thoughts run wild while my feet decided where I went… No, it wasn't her fault that I got caught; it was actually all mine.

The car ride was short, and very uncomfortable, but it did get me to realize that this really could just be a misunderstanding – even though these people seemed to be certain that I was a very dangerous enemy – since I did look like I just came… out… of … a … battle…

There was a very small chance all of this was _just _a misunderstanding. Actually, I could very well be their enemy. The thought of killing someone didn't seem unlikely to me-

_They are the enemy._

There it was again. It was my voice, but somehow… hollowed. Either way, it told me that I really was starting to remember. The car door opened, and the police officer grabbed my arm and started to pull me out. I didn't comply this time, and instead, just sat there, and didn't move. I let my own body weight be used against the twig-like man. He seemed to be having a hard time.

_Escape, now._

There it was again, my own voice, telling me what to do. Then again, if you were to take any sort of order, it would be best if it were your own order. Still, how was I supposed to-?

I realized how easy it would be to get away, even if I was in front of the police station I could just-

"Hector!" The twig-man shouted out to the other officer. I watched as the other, heavier man came over, and the twig-like man let go. Now was my chance, even though I really didn't know what I was doing. It was then that I twisted my body around, and kicked the twig-like man in the gut, forcing him away. I planted my feet on the ground, and stood up. Running with my hands behind my back wasn't impossible, but it would be harder than it would normally be. The twig-man was holding his abdomen and the other was still attempting to get out of the cruiser, so now was my chance. I took off.

I was actually amazed at how fast I was running, even with my hands restrained. I was forced to take the closest back alley that I could find, that didn't lead to a dead end. I didn't look back; hearing the sounds of sirens was more than enough to know that I should continue on running. My feet were beginning to get sore from hitting the gravel with all my weight added onto it. My breathing as becoming haggard and soon I found myself gasping. However, I managed to cover an incredible amount of distance in-between, the amount of time was lost on me. I took a right turn, and found myself on a major street again. I felt like cursing when I saw the cruiser right up on the street.

"He went this way!" I heard a low voice behind me. Now I was beginning to become annoyed with someone other than myself. Why was I so important, that they had to corner me and herd me? I cursed and began to run onto the street, I would need to find another back alley.

I realize that I was in some serious trouble, and the police would most defiantly eventually catch me.

But I really didn't want to get caught. I began to run, and before the cruiser could even notice me – which I hoped it didn't – I turned into another back street, and was shrouded into darkness once more. Once I felt that I had lost them – again – for the moment, I paused and leaned into the brick wall. The wet cement by my feet was reflecting some light above me, but I didn't pay it any attention. I focused on my labored breathing, and tried to calm my wild heartbeat, all in an attempt to be prepared for when I needed to run again. My breaths were heavy, and very loud.

"Noctis?" A feminine voice called out, sounding very confused. My breathing hitched, and immediately I forgot about… everything. The voice was very familiar, but I couldn't place it. Not right now, when my head was swimming and I felt faint. I wondered if they were calling out to me, or to someone else, and I just really wanted the voice to be searching for me – as a friend and not a foe. I turned to see whom it was calling out.

* * *

_A/N: here it is! The THIRD chapter for recollection! Wow, I can't believe that I got 12 reviews for the last chapter... *smiles and blushes* For everyone, there will be plenty of pro's for Lightning and Stella. But... PLEASE review! Come on!Please? The more reviews, and the faster I will update this chapter! Really, don't you want to know who the person at the end is? _

_More reviews = faster update. Easy, right? Oh, and thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed the last chapter! This chapter has 3,674 words, another long chapter (not as long as the last one though) but, enough for you all to thank me, right? _


	4. Revelation

**Recollection**

_By: Cassandra L. K. (Vicis est Eternus)

* * *

_

When I turned to see whom it was calling out, I didn't see anyone. My breathing was still too shallow and my head still spun; I couldn't necessarily feel disappointment. Was I truly going insane enough to hear voices as clear as the day?

Or, perhaps, I did hear the voice, but she was calling out to her… cat. In any case, it made me feel as if my hope had sunk into the pit of my stomach. Why could I not just get a break? Or, perhaps, a stroke of luck? Anything that would help me along my path of recollection would be appreciated.

Or, was I truly just becoming desperate enough to allow a person's name being called out be mistaken for me? I heard multiple steps of feet running toward me.

"Over here!" Someone yelled out. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath – a last and final breath to calm myself down – and ran.

My feet hitting the ground possibly hurt more than before, or was it because my legs were cramping up? There were so many possibilities, but only one fact. This fact as to why running was starting to take a physical toll on me was not in my knowledge, but right, now, I honestly could care less.

"W-wait!" The same voice called out. The one who was calling for her cat, Noctis? I didn't have time to turn around, so I didn't.

Hesitation started to overwhelm me. My running slowed, though I could clearly hear the people behind me. If I didn't stop running, would I have missed my chance of ever remembering, or, perhaps, having someone that used to be in my life – true, I did not remember my life – come back? I turned my head, and slowed to a near stop.

There was a young woman; she was wearing a dark hat, with matching attire. Her breathing was heavy and she was looking at her feet. It was a foolish thing to do, and before I could open my mouth to tell her to look up, a light was flashed into my eyes.

My first thought – which was the correct one – was that the police had found me. The girl seemed oblivious of this fact, which left me reaching out and grabbing her wrist. If she wanted to follow me, no, if she knew me she would have to come with me. My feelings on forcing her to follow me were… well; I did not particularly care whether or not the girl who I was holding onto was against me bringing her with me. Even if there was a slim chance of her knowing who I was, or, if she was one of the women I was looking for, I was going to drag her with me.

I was running before I even realized I had done so. I knew that the police were close by, and I was well aware that my lungs burned and my feet were causing me bodily pain.

'Noc-' The girl behind me started, only for me to pull on her wrist harder when I yanked her into another back alleyway, causing her to be cut off. I had finally gotten my stroke of luck – so far I haven't run into a dead end. I half expected something large to fall out of the sky blocking me path just to make my life all that much harder, but nothing of the sorts happened.

'Noctis, what are you, ah!' I yanked on her arm into another alley. Again, there was a way out. I wondered how long I could keep this up. I was running on pure adrenaline, nothing more.

"Noctis! Why are you run-" She started to yell.

"Quiet." I told her sternly. She was rather loud, when she yelled, and having the police know where I was just wasn't something I wanted at current.

"Why are-" I yanked her harshly into another alley, again, there was no dead end. However, this one seemed to lead me right back out onto the main street; that could be considered a good thing or a bad thing. It was good if I managed to get out onto the main street and cross the road so that I could manage to get into the alleyways over there. It would be bad if there were police cars patrolling near my escape.

I tried to swallow, to give myself some form of liquid, but I was shocked to find that my tongue was dry, and did not give me any moisture at all. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, I had been panting through my mouth for quite some time now.

"Where'd he go?" I heard someone shout in the distance. I felt my face take on an expression of annoyance before forcing it to become blank once more. I was not prepared to simply let go of the one thing I knew how to control and let it show whatever I felt freely. No, I wanted to be in control, unlike the situation I was currently in.

"What are you doing here?" The girl I was dragging with me asked. To her credit, it was much more quiet than it was before. I motioned her to be silent once more, and she complied. She seemed more focused on running now than yelling at me, at least.

The chance that she was calling for her cat, Noctis, was completely invalid now. There was a definite chance that she knew me, and that Noctis was _my_ name, and she was not referring to something, or someone else. For that small stroke of luck, of a break, or… whatever the proper term for it was, I was grateful. Now at least, I had a name: Noctis. Now, what followed after that?

There were so many questions that I wanted to ask her, questions that I had previously asked myself on numerous occasions. Vaguely I started to count how many questions I had asked myself in the past… few days… and found that the situation at hand was too pressing to simply count all the questions that I knew would take me some time and concentration.

My thoughts were beginning to confuse me. Was I giddy because I found someone who had a connection between my past and I? There was yet another question to the list.

I didn't even realize that the girl I was gripping was beginning to complain about how tight my grip on her was. I suppose that was when that I stopped completely, just before the street was under my feet.

"Oh, sorry." I apologized and I took my hand off of her frail wrist. She immediately lifted her hand to her chest and began to rub her wrist with her other hand.

"I was wondering when you were going to hear me." She told me, and then turned her attention back to her wrist. I looked away, and turned my attention to behind her. Both of our chests were rising and falling rapidly. I, however, knew that I must have more stamina that she did; after all, I had been running for a considerable amount of time before she showed up and was forced to run with me. At least she had no objections to it.

I tried to make myself taller to see further down the alley, to make sure that the police weren't hot on our – my – trail. They weren't, so I resisted the urge to grab onto her and start running again. Though I knew that adrenaline was the only factor that allowed me to keep on running – that and the want to not get caught… again.

"Why were you running?" She asked me. I turned to her, surprised. Immediately I scolded myself for it, and made my face blank. However, it appeared as if my body did not get the message, and still showed how I felt. Just the simple question caught me off guard. It was quiet, and… well, so far, it seemed out of character of the girl whom it came from.

I opened my mouth to answer, but it was then that I heard the police start yelling things at one another. They really needed to find a new system. They were so loud that they were rather easy to avoid, however, they were very persistent.

The girl began to laugh… or, giggle. I wasn't sure how to describe what she was doing. I knew that it involved her laughing behind her hand. I looked at her from the corner of my eye. She had a wide smile on her face. Why? She had obviously realized what the circumstances were. What did she possibly find funny about this situation? Albeit, I found the entire situation laughable in the beginning as well, but that was before I was exhausted from running for… a very long time. Long enough for several groups of police to rotate from their own exhaustion. I knew for a fact that the men chasing me now were not the same from ten minutes ago.

How long did I run for?

"Come on then, Noct. Let's go in here." She then proceeded to grab onto my hand and drag _me_ somewhere. I did not like it, being dragged, though I suppose it was only fair, I had done the same to her. Then again, I did not grab onto her _hand_. Was it all girls that always felt the need to be so physical? I couldn't recall. I knew that I grabbed onto her _wrist_ because I was in a rush and needed her to come with me.

"Excuse me?" I didn't… well, I didn't know her that well; I might have in the past, but now that I-

"Oh! Right… sorry." Her tone made it sound as if she was hurt. She let go of my hand like it was made of hot iron. I can't say that the action didn't hurt, but now at least I didn't feel completely uncomfortable. I wondered why that was. Or, was it because I-

"In here!" She beckoned me into this one store. I didn't even realize that we were running up the large street. The stores here were… all open. What time was it? It was then that I realized that she had managed to cut me out of my thoughts twice in a row. It was actually infuriating.

She had the door open, and when I reached where she was, she pushed me inside. She planted her hands on my back, and shoved. I stumbled in. My head spun, and it took a moment before I was able to place words with where I was.

It was a drycleaners. Out of all the places that I expected her to drag – push – me into, a drycleaners was not what I had in mind. It was rather small, with a glass front, a small waiting area that included five chairs, an old glass coffee table and a large plastic plant. There was a counter that cut off the customers from the numerous clothes wrapped in plastic that were hung behind it.

"They won't look in here." She told me. She sighed and walked over to one of the numerous cheap chairs that were in the establishment. They had black metal and green cushions. I wondered why they were even there.

Knowing fully well that standing stupidly in the front of the store with a glass front was not a good idea, I decided to join the girl and sit on one of the five chairs. I sat two down from her.

I placed myself so that I was completely hidden by the cheap plastic plant. The girl began to absentmindedly tap her hands on her thighs, making a pattern. I stared at her from her corner of my eye, silently wishing for her to stop, but not actually wanting to say anything. Was I a coward? I didn't think so - shy, perhaps but not a coward. Or, was it the fact that I couldn't remember a thing about her, even though it was rather obvious that she knew me.

That was right. She _knew_ me. My name was Noctis, and I suppose that my nickname was Noct. How strange my name was, though it did not sound unfamiliar, actually the opposite, but for the death of me I couldn't remember what it meant.

I wanted to ask her; the girl whose hair was hidden in a hat, and her clothes large and baggy, every question I had, but I knew I wouldn't. First of all, if I did, then I would have to admit that I lost almost every memory I ever possessed. That in itself would probably draw her away. Or, it would draw her closer, and it was that contact that I was not comfortable with. Or, it was her trying to make me remember every single detail, though right now, I could honestly say that I could not remember any part of her at all. Perhaps, if she took off the hat, she might have the blonde hair that I remember.

Perhaps there were aspects that I did remember, but all in all, the girl making the pattern of noise was still a complete stranger to me. It was because of that, that I did not want to come out and openly say, _'_Hello, miss, I don't remember who you are, in fact, I can't remember anything at all, could you help?_' _I inwardly shuddered at the sentence. I knew myself well enough that I would never say _that_, even if I did find myself telling her. No, if would definitely sound different, though, because I did not know myself well at all, I was _not_ about to try and figure out a conversation before hand.

"Noct, what are you doing here?" She asked. Her voice was quiet and reserved, again, not something I would call 'in character' for her, she almost sounded like there was some invisible barrier between us, keeping her from being herself with me.

The question was not something I could just simply answer. So I didn't. I kept silent, hoping that she wouldn't press it because I had no idea if she would or wouldn't.

"Noctis, really, what are you doing here? I thought that you and Lightning had already left Tenabrae." She told me quietly. I froze. Lightning.

_Lightning_

Lightning was a person; Lightning was a person's name. I remembered someone's name, not just that flash of light that occurs during storms. I remembered someone. The small revelation brought a small smile on the corner of my mouth – the corner that the girl could not see. She seemed almost hurt to say the statement, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

_Light_

That was her nickname; Light. I remembered. However, I could not remember what she looked like, and it was strikingly obvious that it was not the girl sitting two seats down from me.

"I," I paused. "I'm really don't know." I told her. If the girl was smart, she would catch onto the hint I just said to her, albeit, the hint was subtle, and could me mistaken that I just simply decided to arrive. No, I suppose not even I would be able tell that my last sentence was actually a hint saying that I could not remember. It was a stupid thing for me to do - to think that anyone would be able to decipher that.

"You have a reason for everything, Noct. Really, why'd you come?" She asked. Her head was bent low, she had stopped tapping her thighs and instead settled on holding her hands in prayer, her elbows resting on her knees, her enclosed hands laying limp.

Should I tell her? It would require an awful amount of trust in her, trust I didn't know if she earned or not. Did I trust her? I wasn't sure; I wasn't even certain if I remembered her. A leap of faith, which is what it would be called if I were to decide to simply trust her. Trust her with no logic or fact to back it up. I wondered if I was capable of such a thing.

"I," I took in a deep breath, "I really can't answer your question." I told her. I had to stop myself. I looked over to her; I saw that she was scowling. I dully noted that she had a pretty face, but stopped myself to instead focus on my own nerves. I did not want telling her to e a mistake, for trusting her with no reason to be a mistake. True, at current I have not told her but I was _going_ to.

"Why not?" She asked, demanding. I must admit the tone and the action of snapping her head into my direction seemed more like something that she would do even though I could not remember her personality at all. "I thought you weren't going to keep secrets from me, I thought we were… friends." She trailed off. It sounded almost like she did not like the word _friends. _I refused to let myself ponder on the ending, and instead on what she had said before… the ending.

She said that I promised to be honest with her, that we were friends. Well, at least I had some sort of motive for telling her. Then again, she could have known all along, and was simply fooling me into trusting her.

That was an idiotic and paranoid thought.

"I don't remember." I told her simply.

"_Noctis!"_ There it was again- wait. It was _her,_ the girl sitting two seats down from me. I did remember her. All this time I knew my name, albeit, I had no proof that it was my name then. I did remember her, her voice, at least.

Did that mean that she really had blonde hair?

"You can't remember? Really?" She asked me. She seemed shocked.

"Nothing." I told her. I was not going to tell her that I remember she had blonde hair, that I remembered her voice. If I told her then she would expect too much of me.

I wondered where the police had run off to, but decided it wasn't a good idea to go and check.

"Huh." I suppose that she didn't know how to react to that. It did tell me that she was not expecting my answer in the slightest.

"Your name?" I asked her quietly, not liking that, though I knew she must be more outgoing that I, that she was being quiet.

I watched her blink a few times, before she looked up at me with an uncertain face, almost as if she wasn't sure how to act around me any more. She gave me a large, hesitant smile, and held out her hand.

"Of course, I'm Stella. Stella Nox Fleuret."

* * *

_A/N: SO SORRY! God! Finally, I've had the time to update! First its culminating projects, then its exams, then its being on the ocean and being sick for days on end. Finally I've found time! So, here's chapter four with a total of 3,163 words. That earns me a few reviews, right? _


	5. Acquaintances

**Recollection**

**

* * *

**

Stella. That was her name. Interesting, the name didn't cause something to stir within me, but it didn't sound completely unfamiliar either. I wasn't sure which I would have preferred, to know her, or to simply forget. I could tell by the way she tried to avoid eye contact that we obviously weren't the closest of people. Perhaps something happened between us, who knew.

Of course, she did. She had to know, she had to know, and I should know.

"Well, we should… get you out of here." She stood and shakily laughed. She crossed her hands behind her back and tilted her head to the side, biting her lip all the while. "Noct… Noctis, you really don't remember anything?" She seemed almost hesitant to ask me. She looked at me from the corner of her eye, glancing at me with what appeared to be a pleading glance. She looked like she was begging me to tell her that I was joking, that no, I did remember everything, but I didn't think I was that kind of person.

She didn't look like she was expecting me to, so I suppose she knew that too.

I shook my head at her; no, I didn't have any memories. I watched as her eyes turned downcast and she frowned. She seemed to contemplate something, something that I wasn't able to fathom, after all, I didn't know her. No matter how much she seemed familiar, no matter how much I remembered her voice, or her hair, I still didn't know her.

"Who did that to you, I wonder." She murmured, before taking in a deep breath and straightening out her shoulders. She stood properly, which I respected. It showed she was confident, something I didn't believe I had, but at least seemed to be able to feign well. Her murmur did have me agreeing, but not worrying. I had pondered on what could have done this to me. After all, it would have to have been some serious head trauma to leave me without any memories at all.

Still, I found myself not all that bothered by it, after all, memories continued to slowly trickle back, so if I were patient enough, then I could have them all back without that much of a hassle.

"Come on, we'll take the back way out." She used her hand to motion to me that I should follow her. I wondered why there were no employees around. "Hanks!" She called out. Slowly, I watched as the clothes wrapped in plastic began to move.

The first thing I saw emerge from the clothes was the nozzle of a gun. Immediately I tensed and stood, my body facing so that there was less of me to shoot at, and the largest target was my arm. "Hanks!" I heard Stella hiss. "He's not here on official business!" I didn't understand what she was saying, what was I? Was I some sort of thief? Murderer? No, it would make more sense if I was an assassin…. The man, Hanks stepped into view.

Hanks spoke up, "Your-" Stella made a slashing motion with her hand across her throat, indicating that he should stop what he was saying. I didn't understand why, but figured that she knew what she was doing. I couldn't stop my curiosity, but I could stop my mouth. It wasn't that hard, actually, I simply compromised to stay silent and watch. She seemed to be on my side… the man with the gun, however, was not.

I knew I should do something, in fact, it seemed like the other two were expecting the exact same thing, however, I did not know what. I felt like I should be doing something with complete ease, and yet, I couldn't remember what it was. It was infuriating. For a split second, the emotion running through my body made its way to express itself on my face, but only for that split second; I smoothed my face into a calm mask as soon as it had.

"Hanks, I'm going to take him back to his home, you still have my car?" She asked him. The man's eyes flickered between her and I. It was obvious that he was under her loyalty, and she trusted him. I simply hoped that she trusted… or liked me enough to not let her 'dog' on me. For some reason, though there was a threat clearly in front of me, and though I was reacting to it, I didn't feel worried.

It could have been because I had a feeling she was going to prevent his further actions. Or, it could have been…

It was gone. My thought was gone, and all it had taken was the man, Hanks, to shift his gun just a tad. Annoyance spread through my system. It was right on the tip of my tongue, the answer to one of my many questions, and then it was gone, gone like someone turning out a light, so easily, and gone.

I sighed, but it was low and barely noticeable. Still, I think that she noticed.

"Mil-" Stella glared at Hanks. Noticing this, he cleared his throat and tried again. I still wondered what it was that she refused to allow him to say, but as his mistakes got larger, I had a fairly certain idea. Still, I wouldn't voice my suspicions, she was allowed to keep her secrets, as I was sure I would do to her… had I known any of my own secrets. "Miss Stella, are you sure? Certainly he can get back to his own kingdom by himself." He seemed to like giving her titles in front of her name. First it was Your- , that could mean many things, but the second was Mil-, which could have been 'Milady', again though, I couldn't be sure.

"Don't play dumb, Hanks. I know you were listening." She stated, she took a small moment to think, before continuing. "You are to speak of nothing that went on tonight." She ordered. She seemed to be confident in his trust, because when he nodded, she sighed in relief. Hanks did not look happy about it.

"Your father will not be happy about this." He warned her. Stella waved him off.

"I've done a lot worse than bring a friend home." She informed him. So, we were friends, were we?

"More like a fiend." I heard Hanks mutter under his breath bitterly. He sighed then, looking defeated, and not happy at all with the situation. "Your car is around back. I fixed like you asked me." He pointed in the direction I assumed her car was. Stella smiled at him and gave him a small nod before turning to me and saying,

"Come on, Noctis, we should get going before they come around again." She told me. I nodded and followed as she walked towards the counter. Once she reached it, she held out her hand, palm facing sky, to Hanks. He grumbled and shoved his hand into one of his pockets. He rummaged around in it, before finally dragging his hand out. He seemed to prolong the action, and this got on Stella's nerves. Once the object he removed from his pocket was in sight, Stella reached over and snatched it from his hand. He cursed as she dangled it in front of him, and then leaned forward, "Stop worrying. I'll be fine. Remember, he hasn't beaten me yet." She whispered. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear or not, but pretended not to.

"Maybe you've forgotten, you're definition of not being beaten is being alive after a battle." He hissed back at her. Stella smiled cheekily at him, before turned to me and reaching for my hand. I unconsciously pulled away. A hurt look appeared on Stella's face, but instead of commenting, she took her own hand back and gave me a forced smile.

"Sorry." I apologized. She shook her head, telling me that it wasn't necessary.

"No, its okay. Come on, this way." She turned and lifted a part of the counter up, so that there was a walkway to the back. She walked through, without looking back to see if I was following. Perhaps she would turn back later, either way, it did not matter, I was following her whether or not she wanted me to. She pushed aside some of the clothes that were in her way, letting the plastic covered cloth sway in her wake.

I slowed down, watching as the plastic swayed back and forth. For some reason, everything began to take on a dream-like quality. The lighting seemed to dim, and my entire focus was of the swinging clothes.

_The swinging clothes. They were swaying in the breeze; it was so slow. I watched them, I could feel hot tears were streaming down my face. _

"_My Lord Noctis!" I heard a voice shout to me. No! I didn't want to see them, not now, why couldn't they just leave me alone? I tried to stop the tears from falling, I shouldn't cry. _

_How could I help it though? She was dead. She was gone forever. _

I blinked.

Slowly the world began to filter into my vision again. I wondered what that was? A memory? Perhaps.

I knew I was a small child, or at least in height. I… was…

I couldn't remember. I remember I was young when that particular memory occurred, but… I couldn't remember exactly.

"Noctis, you coming?" I heard Stella ask from in front of me. I could feel a cool breeze hit me, and concurred that she must have had the door open. I could not see her from where I stood, but… It must have been the wind that triggered the memory.

The nostalgia was not long lived, and soon, it was nothing more than a fleeting memory.

I followed her to the door. Once I was in reach, she let go of the door, allowing me to hold it open for myself. She seemed to be trying to distance herself from me, giving me space. I was honestly glad. I didn't need someone pestering me with questions or anything of the sort.

I found myself enjoying her company. True, she was the only person who had any intentions of spending more than a few moments with me, but that didn't matter.

She was going to take me home. I suppose she would have to, seeing as I didn't remember anything about it, but as I thought about being driven somewhere, I couldn't help but feel the same feeling of nostalgia, as if some even was repeating itself over again, something that I was all-too – or was – familiar with.

I tried to shake it off, but it wouldn't leave. I would prefer not to admit defeat to my own emotions, but I couldn't. I held the door in my hand, and simply stood there. I needed to keep moving before someone notices me, or someone who wants to arrest me.

I still hadn't figured out why.

The door I was clinging on was rusty and looked as if it had once been covered in a dark green pain, but the paint itself had peeled away until only a few sections were covered in it. The back alley that was in front of me was about two feet lower from where I stood; there were concrete stairs leading up to all the doors.

To my right was a dumpster, I ignored it for the most part.

I let go of the door and walked down the few steps until I was on the alley, turning to my left, I followed where Stella had taken off to.

There was a small section not far ahead where the alley got larger; it was a parking spot. I saw her in the front seat, rummaging through some papers; I wondered what she was doing.

Her skin looked slightly distorted in the green-tinted glass that was the front windshield; it made her look sick.

I opened the door to the passenger side, and got in.

Though the outside was nothing to brag about, and it looked more like some old car than anything, the inside was a different story. The seats were made of smooth leather, and the interior was completely black. There was plenty of room inside of it as well; I looked over to her, who seemed to be having a hard time.

"Where was it again?" I heard her mumble. She sounded frustrated. Her eyebrows were pulled together in concentration, and she was glaring at the paper, the map, in front of her.

"Where was what?" I asked her, she sighed, and looked up at me.

"Well, where you live is actually a hard place to get to, actually, there's only one small road that leads to it… and I can't find it on this map." She threw the paper against the dashboard in frustration, and groaned. She brought her head back and raised the heels of her palms to her temples. I watched her in amusement, and actually found a smile tugging at my lips.

"Hmm?" She asked, looking at me from the corner of her eye. When she noticed that I was silently laughing at her actions, she blushed and sat properly, her eyes staring straight ahead.

I found myself liking the colour of her bright red cheeks. She seemed to be determined not to look at me as she took the keys she got from Hanks and jammed them into the ignition. The car came to life without any complaint, and she shifted it into the proper gear, and drove out of the parking spot.

I wondered how many times she had done this, since she didn't seem all that worried at the tight spot she was driving through. The tires scraped across the concrete that was the edge of the stairs, but because there were no railings, the side mirrors were fine.

"You should put your seatbelt on." She informed me. Surprised, I turned to look at her; sure enough, she already had hers on.

"Oh, okay." I murmured as I put my own on. She smiled at me once I was finished. I wondered why, because I had done as she asked without any complaint, or any objections. Was it because before I would have objected?

"Why are you smiling?" I asked her, not that she didn't look beautiful when she did, but she wasn't paying attention to the road, that and, her smiling at me so openly was making me uncomfortable.

"I am?" She laughed nervously then. "Oh, well, why not?" She turned her eyes to the road. By then we had reached a side street, well, at least it was a real road. She turned onto it. "It is easier to smile than to frown… hmm…" She looked over at me and seemed to contemplate something. "But you don't frown either, you have a straight face." She smiled at me again, taking quick glances at the road to make sure we didn't crash, or get deterred from the road. "I bet you would be really good at poker. I don't think you've played it before, or" She looked over to the road, her smile fading, "Or you simply never told me about it."

"I can't exactly answer that now." I told her. She smiled again, and looked like she laughed once.

"That's right, you can't remember." We reached a stop sign, "You know, I keep expecting you to say 'gotcha!' but… you aren't like that. I mean, you have…" She sighed. "Never mind."

She turned right at the stop sign, and then I found that we were on a street that looked to be surrounded by apartment buildings. We continued to drive down the long stretch of road. "Thank you." I told her after we had reached a silence. She seemed to not like it, the silence, so I tried to break it. She seemed grateful.

"No, its okay. Wait, you are thanking me for helping you, right?" She asked me, when I nodded, she nodded as well. "Then it was my pleasure. After all, now we can start over!" She seemed only half-happy at the prospect.

"Why?" I asked her. She blinked before blushing again; I supposed that she had said something she hadn't meant to.

"Well," She began, stopping to turn on another street. "We weren't exactly the closest people, and we always fought, but because we… were forced to." Her voice got lower and lower as the sentence dragged on. It was like a diminuendo on a piano, slowly getting lower and lower until it final reach _piano_, or perhaps even _pianissimo_.

I wondered why she was so sad.

"I," She licked her lips, she seemed nervous. "You're going to have a lot of questions soon, and I will answer them… but not until we get there, okay?" She asked me, looking hopeful. It was almost as if she didn't want me to get caught up in something, but knew it wasn't her place to keep me from it.

"How long will that be?" I asked her. In truth I wasn't in a hurry at all, I had no memories of my home, and though I had questions for her, as she said, I could just as easily hold my tongue. People usually slip anyways.

"Well, it would take about four hours to reach your home, so… we have time." She explained. I lived nine four away? Then how did I manage to get all the way from there, to here? Why was I here in the first place?

I didn't know.

"So, what do you remember?" She asked, looking like it was an offhanded question, she didn't look like she wanted to make a big deal out of it, so she was trying to pose it like it was small talk.

"I remember you inviting my to Tenebrae. You said you would show me around." I started, knowing that the next part might hurt her, "I also remember that I know a woman named Lightning," I watched as her hands clutched the steering wheel tightly; her knuckles were white.

When I told her that I remembered her inviting me to Tenebrae, she looked happy, and smiled at me, telling me that I was correct. Now however, she looked… hurt.

"Anything else?" She asked in a whisper. I sighed and looked to the front of the car.

"I remember, being outside, the wind was blowing, and there were clothes on a clothes line. I remembered someone yelling for me, but I didn't want to go to him or her. I was young, very young, and I was crying. I had just lost someone important to me, a woman, or perhaps a girl, but I don't know who." I told her, hoping that what I just told her was enough for her to ponder on, and forget about the other person.

She laughed suddenly. "You know what's funny?" She asked me. I shook my head. "None of those memories had them in it." She told me, she seemed hurt. I gathered that she knew this Lightning person, and from how she acted around me, told me that something had happened between us. I knew that telling her about remember a woman named Lightning would make her sad. I told her that I remembered her first because that way she would feel that she still meant something to me, although I can't remember what.

It made her feel special, but when I told her that I remembered someone else's name, I knew it would take the special feeling away.

However, I did not know whom she was talking about.

"Who?"

Stella simply shook her head and placed one finger over her mouth. "It's a secret. Besides, I'm sure you'll remember them soon; otherwise they'll be pretty mad at you. Well, I'm not sure about-" She clamped her mouth shut.

We fell back into a silence again, and by the way that Stella kept fidgeting, I knew that it was an uncomfortable one.

"Hey," She broke it this time. "Are you hungry?" She asked me. Without thought I nodded, and at that, she smiled and turned a blinker on. We were going right. I watched as she turned and then pulled into a brightly lit fast food restaurant. She pulled into the drive-through. When I gave her a questioning glance as to why this place, she simply waved me off with an explanation of; "I like greasy food once in a while."

I didn't know what I liked, so I told Stella that she should order for me. She seemed to think a moment, before ordering. She got two hamburgers, one with chicken strips, and another with ground beef.

She told the lady at the 'order here' spot that she didn't want any condiments on the hamburger, but ranch sauce and lettuce on the 'chicken-burger'. She ordered fries with each and a soft drink as well.

At the first window she paid the total, and the second window she picked up the food.

We currently were in the parking lot, organizing which food belonged to which person.

"I ordered you the plain one, I didn't know what you liked on, so better safe than sorry." She explained, fishing through the paper bag and pulling out one of the burgers; it was wrapped in paper so she had to open it up before handing it over to me.

She plunged her hand into it again, but this time came out with the burger that obviously was hers. She then took out the two fries and handed me one. Once the contents were out of the bag, she scrunched it up, and through it in the back seat.

We sat there and ate. I found that my hamburger was rather plain, and commented so to Stella. She shrugged.

"I don't know why hamburgers are called hamburgers." She mentioned after she shrugged.

"Why?" I knew I didn't need to say anything, but she seemed to be waiting for my input to continue.

"I've never seen a hamburger with actual ham in it before, so I wonder why they still call it that." She looked to be, and before I began to speak, she held up her hand. "Yeah yeah, I know, I don't really want to know, its just some trivial thing people talk about sometimes. You know that, right?" She asked me.

"I do."

She was nearly finished her burger; she seemed to be having trouble eating the whole thing. I had already finished, it had been a long time since I last ate, and actually I couldn't remember when I last ate. I was starved.

In the end Stella simply wrapped up her leftovers and reached back to the paper bag behind her, she put all the garbage in it, before twisting the top of it so that none of it could get out. She opened the car door and stepped out, walking over to the garbage can that wasn't far from where we were parked. She threw it in, and made her way back.

Once inside she started the engine and we were off again.

"Have you even slept in the last few days, Noctis?" She asked, we were on a highway then, and the bright city that was Tenebrae was slowly merging into a residential community, and the further we went, the more scarce the houses became.

"I can't remember sleeping." I told her. It was true; I hadn't actually slept since I woke up with no memory.

"Then try and get some now, I can tell you, you'll need it." She suggested. I didn't feel tired, but I knew she was right. I had been walking for days straight without sleep. In fact, I hadn't felt sleepy at all even though I knew I mustn't have slept in days.

I didn't even feel tired now, but also knew that if I were to continue on without rest, I would surely regret it later.

I slouched lower so that I could get my head into a comfortable position, and closed my eyes.

I actually wished that I had fallen asleep right there, instead of being plagued by thoughts and restlessness.

It must have taken me a long time to fall asleep, I wasn't even sure if I did. I felt tired, I felt like I wanted to sleep, but I was still having thoughts whirl around in my head like a tornado. It irritated me to no end that I wouldn't just go to sleep.

"Noctis, wake up." I felt Stella lightly shake my arm. I opened my eyes immediately, I wondered if I actually did fall asleep or not. It felt different than it did a moment ago. I looked up and over to Stella, who now, I noticed, was looking outside panicky. "Something's wrong." She pointed outside. "Look."

I sat up straighter so that I could fully see what she was talking about.

It looked like we were in a city, or the ruins of one at least.

There were buildings with complex architectures, but holes had been blasted through it. Windows were smashed, and cars were totaled. There was some blood on the ground, and fires were alit to a few things that scattered here and there. Smoke rose in the air in large tuffs. There was no sun out, and it caused the eerie scene to appear all the more horrifying.

"Noctis. This is your home."

* * *

_A/N: Yeah! I'm getting all caught up now! This chapter is now the longest of them all, and actually, it was no strain at all for me to write it! That's good. Anyway, I have a whole plot for this now. And because I'm not really good at romance, I'm hoping the action will make up for it. :) P.S. Review. _


	6. Onward

Recollection

Chapter 6: Onward

By: Cassandra L K

* * *

They say that the darkest time is right after the lights go out. You're eyes haven't adjusted to the light yet, so you are completely blinded. That is, until you're eyes adjust.

I wondered, if I continued to look at it, would it become less… devastated? If I continued to stare, would I find out that the overall effect was not nearly as disastrous as it first appeared?

There were tall buildings with faces of glass that rose to reach the untouchable sky. Their windows were large panes of water-like glass, dark blue in colour, allowing those inside the privacy they deserved from the outside world. After all, inside was private and outside was public.

The planes of glass were so dark a shade that they reflected their neighboring buildings with an effect that made it hard to believe that the planes of glass were actually just that, glass, instead of mirrors. Sunlight, I imagined, would have reflected off of them to the point where actually seeing the reflection would be blinding.

That was what it should have been; however, there were some several flaws to its design. Flaws I knew for certain that were only recently added.

The corner of the building closest to me had a corner blown off, showing the insides the windows were supposed to protect. I could see a total of three floors in this hole, and saw the blasted debris inside. The windows were broken; the shattered pieces littered the ground below like pebbles. There were small holes that dotted whatever concrete walls were available, bullet holes, I realized.

The street itself had debris from the buildings, glass and wood and concrete laying on the ground like broken corpses. The cars that were visible to me were totaled, windows smashed, exteriors bent and damaged to the point where they were all scrap metal.

Dark red blood soaked the otherwise creamy sidewalks; fires were alit here and there.

The more I looked, the more I realized that the 'darkest time is right after the lights go out' did not apply here.

In fact, it was rather the opposite.

It had not seemed as bad as when I first glanced. But that was all it was at the time – a glance. I did not take in the multitude of destruction this one street possessed. I still hadn't, not entirely, the street stretched quite far.

"Oh God!" I heard Stella gasp. I turned my head slightly so that I could see her in my peripheral vision. I wished she wouldn't cry; I wouldn't know what to do then. I watched with trepidation as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Don't look, then." I told her calmly. I willed my face not to move, not to show the shock I felt… or the horror.

I knew, however, that this wasn't the worst thing I had seen. I couldn't remember exactly what _was_ worse than this sight, but I knew there was something.

It was right at the tip of my tongue!

"Noctis, I didn't know! I swear!" She pleaded with me, and, of course, this confused me.

"Why would it be your fault? Do you know who did this?" I asked, gesturing towards the ruble that would have once been a grand city. "Do you, Stella?" I asked again, more forcefully when I saw her hesitate, I turned to face her.

"I'm sorry, I- I should have realized when I saw you… You wouldn't have come if something bad hadn't happened. You're wanted there, you wouldn't want to risk a war-" She continued to blubber.

"What?" I demanded. "Stella, what are you talking about?" I asked, walking up to her and gripping her on her shoulders. "Tell me, Stella."

"I'm sorry! I just… I wanted to… to… to talk to you again… but…" She bit her lip. She wouldn't meet my eyes. "I'm sorry, Noctis."

"_I'm sorry Noctis." _

_The cool sound of swift steel cut through the air, whistling as it did so. A man with black hair dodged easily; the attack was clumsy and predictable, at best. The beautiful blond woman who held the rapier wasn't trying; he could tell that much. He held one of his numerous swords in front of him, positioned horizontally, with its broad side facing skyward, so to his line of sight – and hers as well – it was nothing more than a mere sliver in the dark. _

_The rapier whistled through the air again, and this time he parried with his own sword, causing a dull ringing to shrill in the air. _

"_Stella," The black haired figure said suddenly, "stop." _

"_I can't!" She cried out before bringing her sword up in another clumsy ark, bringing it down. He lifted his arm up, allowing the fine blade of her weapon to slide down his own. "I, I have to protect what I have left!" She was beginning to cry, but her face was still clear of tears. She brought the sword back up, creating an uppercut with it, he simply stepped back to dodge. _

"_Stella!" The man called to her again, but it seemed like she was slowly losing to her emotions; he knew that their fight would become serious soon enough._

"_I'm so sorry." She whispered, the air around her glowing gold. The man tensed-_

"I just- I was being selfish and a… a bitch! I," She licked her lips. "I just wanted you to myself again." She looked down at are feet. I blinked, trying to remember what she said, my mind on the memory.

"We fought before." I stated, not able to get the memory out of my head. I didn't pause to see her reaction.

"Uh, yes. We did." She paused, "Many times, actually." I heard her sniffle.

"Why?"

"…Do you, really want to know?" Her voice was almost a whisper.

"Yes." I demanded. She was being illusive, something I knew she wasn't usually since she was horrible at it. Stella sighed; I refocused my attention on her.

"Alright. I'll…" She frowned. "No, perhaps I should try and see where they are."

"They who?" She waved me off before wiping her eyes.

"You'll see soon enough." She brought her hand in front of her face, so she could see the salty liquid that she had removed. "I hate crying." She stated. Stella then wiped her hands on her pants to dry them off, and walked back to the car, patting her cheeks dry as she did so.

I didn't exactly have a choice but to follow her. There was nothing for me to do here, as whatever had bulldozed its way through had already left.

I got into her car, and she began to drive off.

"Well?" I asked her when she decided to stay silent for the duration of three blocks.

"You certain you want to know? I mean, I barely know anything about you-"

"I can assure you; you know more than I do."

Stella sighed, and turned right at a corner. "Where to start…" She murmured to herself and drummed her fingers along the wheel. "Well, perhaps your full name, then?" It was rhetorical, so I didn't answer. "Noctis Lucis Caelum," She opened her mouth, but then decided to shut it abruptly. "I am the princess of Tenebrae… so… I would be your enemy." She tried again.

What? She was a princess? It would make sense, at least, as to why she used the slashing motion with her hands back at the dry-cleaners. So, if we were enemies, I either had to be someone from a foreign kingdom who was naturally enemies, or a terrorist.

"I should get you back to them." She muttered and took a left down another street. I barely noticed; or, was purposefully denying the outside world at all; it got worse and worse the further we went in.

She stayed silent for the rest of the ride. I, unable to _not_ look, continuously glanced outside, and saw how the buildings continued to get more peppered with bullet holes, and how more glass, more cars, and more debris were scattered and more frequent.

I knew I should have felt sick; it was what normal people would be, it was what Cy at least pretended to be when something like this happened…

Who was Cy?

The name slipped out so easily that it was almost as if the name was something I would only think about casually.

"Who's Cy?" I asked Stella, surely she knew, or, she didn't, either way, it couldn't hurt to ask.

"You remember Cy?" She asked, looking a tad shocked. She then smiled, her face brightening. "He's one of the people I'm taking you to see."

"How do you know he's still alive?" I asked, briefly glancing at the wreckage outside, the wreckage that Stella was carefully maneuvering through in her car.

"Because, Cy is like a cockroach, you can drop a nuclear warhead on the bugger and he'd still find a way to get out of it and laugh in your face." I took it him and Stella was not on the best of terms. Then again, he didn't sound like that nice of a guy in the first place.

"And you know where he is?" I inquired. I couldn't help but be a skeptic.

"No," Stella admitted, "But I do have a pretty good idea where he is."

And with that, I allowed her to… lead me to 'them'.

XxXxXxXxxXxxXxXxXxX

"This is boring." A handsome blond man groaned from a corner of the cell.

"We're in prison, idiot, what did do you expect? For them to dress up and dance for your sole entertainment." A man with black hair and glasses asked the blond blandly.

"I don't know, Saul," Another dark haired man said to the man with the glasses, "I could use some dancing girls to keep the time." The blond man laughed at that, and the speaker joined.

"Ha, that's right. Eh, Lightning! You feel up for some dancing?" He called aloud to someone in another cell.

"Any dancing I will be doing would involve slitting your throat, Cy." A voice responded dryly. The blond, Cy, laughed again.

"You seem to think that this is a joking matter." Saul told Cy flatly, narrowing his eyes slightly at him. Cy, however, brushed him off.

"You're just not used to sitting on cement floors."

"I would like to think that not having a criminal record should be praised, not frowned upon." Saul deadpanned.

"Oh, come off it! You ugly bastard, you're in here with the rest of us, and yet you're still acting all high and mighty. You're a _driver_ for fuck's sake! Get your head out of your ass for once in your life!" Cy yelled. However, his half-grin completely obliterated whatever value his words carried.

"Jesus, Cy, I have a headache as it is, and I could bet you all the money I have that Lightning has thought up of at least six different ways to kill you." Faust groaned out, rubbing his temples. The shackles on his wrists clinked slightly.

"Ah, how heartbreaking." Cy continued. "Lightning? How cruel of you! I thought we were getting along just fine!" He called out to the beautiful strawberry blonde that sat in the cell next to theirs.

"We would get along better with your head mounted on a wall as well, Cy." She responded. Cy smirked.

"Course, I'll be the best looking one up there, am I right?"

"Your inflated ego would have to be held down by a rock, Cy, so no, I doubt anyone would look good with their head stuffed with rocks." Her curt reply caused Cy to wince at the thought.

"Ouch, violent, aren't we?"

From the other side of the cell, Lightning smirked, "Perhaps a little."

* * *

A/N: Umm.... sorry? I haven't updated this in.... a LONG time.... but... here it is! Please review... oh, and how do you like my shot-gun guy (Cy) Glasses guy (Saul) and the last guy has a scar, doesn't he? (Faust) And how does everyone like my Lightning? ANd now that I think about it my Stella too...? Oh, and according to my poll... most people prefer the Lightning/Noctis pair... so that's where it will be leaning to. The poll is still up.... so vote if you want a say!


	7. Gunfire

**Recollection**

_Chapter 7_

* * *

Tall, towering. No ivy rose on the walls, no rose bushes landscaping, no damsel in distress, however, despite the lack of classic components, the structure in front of us was most definitely that of a fairy tale. Or, at least, it looked to be the oldest building around.

It was definitely imposing, like a gothic cathedral, only it expanded the point where it was unmatched. Grand wooden doors that stood three times my size, each thick and heavy with intricate gothic carvings of swirls and crests. Windows were thick plated, lined with black iron guardrails. The stone was black with age in some areas, while clean and practically white in others – obviously vigorous cleaning was used daily.

Far back from where we came in, there was a great wall of stone, thick and tall, a blasted iron gate had been on its side, twisted and deformed into a jumble of metal mess. In the stone walls there were chunks blasted out of it, some sections completely blown apart.

What was the worst about walking through the front however… were the many, many bodies. Stella's gaze had hardened, and immediately she told him to be on his guard. No longer did they walk calmly, now they were hutched over, creeping through debris. Stella had been listening intently, I could tell, and oddly enough, I found myself settling into a stance and creeping along in utter silence. I too listened carefully, but other than the calm breeze and the shifting of some litter and wildlife, I heard nothing.

I glanced up once again, and couldn't help but feel utter devastation at it being destroyed to the point it had.

The great wooden doors were charred and many cuts and slashes were visible. However, to my great relief, there was minimal damage to the structure itself.

_Of course, it's still effective, even without my being here._ The thought came unexpectedly, causing me to falter slightly out of shock.

I _knew_ this place. It was my home, that's why I hated seeing it like this. I shook my head. I needed to… what? I knew I had a duty to do something but what it was _exactly_ was rather hard to pinpoint.

Stella stopped suddenly, I followed suit. She held up a finger, telling me to wait.

For some reason, I found myself annoyed. It was a feeling that one would probably get if their subordinate suddenly started to boss you around and expect you to follow…

But if she were a princess, then why would I ever have authority over her? Or, was it just that I had once held a very high position, and since I was supposedly her enemy, was used to command others? I didn't feel like a leader, if anything I felt more confused.

So, pushing down the slight of irritation, I focused on her. "Do you hear that?" She whispered. I frowned, but listened intently anyway.

I heard her breathing first; as quiet as it was she was still very close by. Next I heard the wind, the rustling of litter, and the sway of whatever trees were left then finally…

My eyes widened, I gripped onto Stella's wrist in a vice clutch, and dragged her back faster than I knew was possible. She gasped and struggled to keep up with her retreating wrist.

I heard it; the fatal swoosh through the air, and then, right where both Stella and I had been, did not sit anything buried in the ground, rather, two new holes in the ground.

_Bullets,_ my mind told me. I looked up to the massive building in front of me, my eyes scanning the vantage points where someone would be able to us unseen. My eyes landed on the culprits.

From where we were, I couldn't make out anything except two shadows, that, and the slight glint that their metal weapons produced as a reflection ray. I scowled slightly, I knew I could deal with them, so easily, in fact, so… why couldn't I remember how to?

"Noctis! Are you all right?" Stella hissed. I nodded thoughtlessly, my mind thinking of strategies, both calm and beyond frustrated. "That's good, I'm going to take them out, since you don't remember how to summon it, do you?" My face betrayed my surprise. "I thought not. Okay, get back; they're not going to hit us again." I tightened my grip on her wrist in response. "Huh? What is it?"

"There's more, many more; they're all inside." I told her. Slowly I dragged her back to where the chunks of rubble from the wall became large and impenetrable by bullets. Stella seemed displeased, but remained silent and followed me regardless.

"You must really not remember much." She told me icily, her gaze cold and bitter.

"They took the entire thing over; the entire city! If you really believe that whatever strength you possess will be enough to get through a huge amount of numbers you're a fool, Stella." I told her calmly. She stared at me intently, and, oddly enough, I felt a little self-conscious under her scrutinizing stare. "I wouldn't, at least." I added quietly.

Stella stared on in shock at me, before a small smile graced her face. "You have no idea how much you sounded… you know, normal, I guess." She stated quietly. I blinked at her, before shaking my head to stop myself from thinking too much into it.

"We need to gather intel, I think; find out what has happened before we simply rush in." I reasoned.

"That sounds like a good plan; no wonder you…" She trailed off. "It's probably not safe to go back the way we came, or even go back to the car…" She frowned. "I don't know the area all that well…" She turned to me, pleading me with her eyes that I might remember something.

I, too, frowned as I focused and thought hard. The wall blocking my memories seemed to be chipped and broken soon… I could see the castle, as it had been before… very bright…

_It was bright; it was summer, the sun shone bright in the sky, a rarity, for the usually cloudy climate. The little boy with black hair and fine clothes was curled up in the fetal position, hugging his legs to him as tears strewn across his face. She was gone, gone forever, and it was sunny. _

_It should be rainy, it should be rainy and miserable, and instead it was sunny, the first sunny day that summer…_

_He watched them; the swinging clothes. They were swaying in the breeze; it was so slow. He watched them, He felt the hot tears running down his face, but he didn't care…_

"_My Lord Noctis!" He heard someone shout to him. No! He didn't want to see them, not now, why couldn't they just leave him alone? He tried to stop the tears from falling, he shouldn't cry._

_How could he help it though? She was dead. She was gone forever._

"_Mother…" he whined slightly. He looked to the side as his maid stumbled up the hill; she was always so clumsy. "Leave me alone!" He shouted at her, before turning his head to face his knees. "I just want to be alone now, Mary! Just…" He began to cry… "Sh-sh-she's gone!" He began to wail. _

_His maid, a very young girl of probably fifteen looked on at him in pity, he saw her though his squinted eyes as the tears fell in a steady stream. The blonde main then sighed and, though he couldn't see her, he felt her; she wrapped his arms around him. _

"_Little Noctis, its okay to cry." She cooed. "I remember I cried a lot when my parents died… I still cry, but… you know what Noctis? You still have your Uncle, the King, and your father… hon.," She tried but he didn't want to listen anymore. He began to push her back. "Little Lord Noctis," she called his pet name, "Cry all you want, but hon., it'll just hurt all the more if you cry by yourself." Her kind words broke the damn, and soon the young child began to ball as he clung onto his maid, gripping her apron in a death grip as he cried into her stomach. _

_Mary had petted his hair gently, lovingly. It reminded him of what his mother used to do, so the crying got louder and he curled closer into her. _

"_Mo-m-m-mommy's n-n-never c-c-om-m-ming b-back-k!" he wailed. His couldn't tell what his maid did, but she didn't stop petting him in response, if anything, the touch became even more soothing. _

"_I know honey, I know very well." She whispered to him. _

A pang of sadness and loneliness stabbed at his heart, but he forced himself to look further, he closed his eyes and concentrated.

To my dismay nothing else came. I sighed, and closed my eyes in disappointment. Slowly, I shook my head. "Sorry," I added sheepishly. Stella's cheeks reddened slightly before nodding and turning her calculating gaze onto the castle.

"They're moving." She stated. "Okay, Noctis?"

Gunfire.

My entire body tensed up, and reflexively pushed myself closer to the ground.

"Okay, Noctis? I'm going to fight them. If you suddenly, magically, however, remember how to fight, then go ahead and knock yourself out, otherwise, stay here and lie low." She whispered to me. I nodded, knowing the likelihood of my joining the fray to be slim to none. She closed her eyes and breathed in her nose, releasing it out of her mouth. Her eyes opened showing the determined gaze she held. She then murmured something under her breath I couldn't catch, and stood up.

Immediately she ducked and rolled to the side as the gunfire aimed directly at her. I heard her curse loudly as she did so, but once the roll was over, I saw her stand up again. This time she remained slightly crouched, as if anticipating rolling again.

The air around her shimmered, a thin, yellow, thread like material appearing out of nowhere. It got larger, and more defined as the second passed, as, I realized, it really did take a second. The thread that looked as if it were alive and its movements as if it were submerged in water, quickly maneuvered itself to a pattern and once the pattern was formed, seemed to solidify into a golden rune.

The rune appeared behind her, and from the reaction it received from the others, I gathered that it was some sort of weapon.

I shook myself, of _course_ it was a weapon, I knew it, I've seen it before, even if I couldn't _remember_ exactly what it did, I did recall seeing it.

Where eluded me, but I _had_ seen it.

I used my right hand to hold onto my left wrist, in an attempt to stay in the here and now, not thinking on memories that I lacked. However, the tight grip on my wrist seemed to do the opposite, allowing me to feel nostalgia of the feeling but now exactly why I felt it.

It was very, very irritating. I let go, forcing myself to watch Stella.

In her hand now was a rapier. This rapier I actually remembered, from a sliver of a memory.

She seemed to hover for a bit, before glancing sideways at me and throwing me a half-grin. There was a glint in her eyes, as if she was about to show-off. My face showed her my confused feelings, despite my not wanting to show them, and then, to my surprise – which my face so eagerly showed – she disappeared.

A thin trail of golden light was left behind, but she was gone, completely gone from my sights. I glanced around, searching for her, but then I heard it.

The gunfire was no longer pointing towards me, nor was it to where Stella used to be, instead, the gunfire had changed its trajectory. I heard gurgled screams and yells, and I also heard the unmistakable sound of metal cutting through flesh and bone. I knew that sound so well…

_They were the enemy._

This time I no longer had time to ponder the strange hollowed words that rang through my head, through it did help that the temptation to was far less great, as the same words had been repeated to me earlier.

It also helped that I was far more tempted to look and see what Stella was doing that ponder a voice that may one day make me question my sanity.

I heard more screams, but then, I also heard something else:

Stella's soft gasp.

Normally I wouldn't really bother with worrying over something so trivial, but it was the type of gasp, the sharp intake of breath that came from shock, that came after you got hurt, shot…

A frowned, forcing myself to stay put. I couldn't do anything, not really, it Stella was only hurt enough to let out a loud gasp, but still be able to fight, it couldn't be that bad of a wound.

"_Fool… fought until he was practically dead."_

I clutched my cranium, using my forefinger and thumb to pinch my temples. I did not_ need_ to have these odd recollections now. The only use they served was to render me a hypocrite, increase my concern, and nearly always succeeded in giving me a headache.

Now, however, it seemed worse.

My eyesight began to blur. Not incredibly so, but enough for me to have trouble focusing on my surroundings. The headache seemed to worsen, and the ground underneath me began to move.

Logically I knew that the ground couldn't actually be moving, but it did feel like it. Of all the times to get a dizzy spell!

I cursed my luck, taking my hand off my forehead and instead using it to pinch the bridge of my nose tightly.

I hated my imagination at the moment, because I swore I could feel some of the aftereffects of whatever that serum was running through my system…

I froze, unable to comprehend where that thought came from, but from the light jab of pain near the base of my skull, courtesy of my own body working against me.

Then I heard heavy footsteps run towards me. Out of instinct I tensed and put my guard up, hovering on my toes, ready to dodge at any given notice, since offense seemed to be eluding my know-how at the moment.

However, instead of an enemy, I saw Stella.

She couldn't have looked more different.

She was gripping her shoulder tightly, where a pool of blood seemed to leak out of her, however, that was the extent to where her own blood came into play, as the rest of her; her face, her hair, her limbs… the rest were covered in blood splatter that only came from an enemy being cut down, by another person's wounds and not her own.

"We… we have to go… I probably, shouldn't have… but I did… we… have… to run." She gasped, seemingly trying to catch her breath rather than the fact that she _couldn't _physically breathe. I nodded wordlessly, and stood up. However, as soon as I did, the crack of gunfire started again; both of us ducked down.

"Make a run for it?" I asked, my eyes already clearing a path through the rubble to where a large enough crack was in the wall.

"We… don't" she took a lungful of air and let it out, "have, much of a choice." I didn't look at her, even so, she wouldn't have noticed if I had or hadn't; she was too busy focusing on catching her breath.

"It's going to be tricky, and they better have terrible aim." I muttered unhappily. Even so, I gripped on her arm lightly, my body tensing to sprint at a moments notice. "Ready?" I asked, but didn't care for an answer. I could feel Stella shifting so that she too was in a position, ready to bolt.

I tugged on her arm lightly, pulling her up with me, as we I began to dash through the rubble. Some part of me berated myself for running away, another felt like I had left my heart behind, while a third – the part that was confused – just wanted to run.

So many conflicting emotions might as well have powered my steps.

Stella's footsteps faltered often, but for the most part, stayed right on my heels, then, they began to get quieter. I turned my head to see that she was falling behind. She noticed too, and seemed irritated at it. I watched her tense, her face taking on a look of pure concentration. I could dimly see the golden rune shimmer behind her before she was gone.

Vanished, gone, the only physical evidence that she had been there before was a thin weave of golden light in the air.

_She's terrible at it._

The hollow voice muttered in my voice, this time it mirrored my own thoughts, though, as usual, the hollowed voice at the back of my mind seemed to know what the real effect was supposed to be like, while I did not.

It would have been nice to ponder as to what my own thoughts meant, but there were more immediate concerns at hand.

Stella vanished, and while I had seen her do it once before, and knew that she logically knew what she was doing, I couldn't help but wonder where it was that she went. My eyes searched the area, but saw nothing more than a few soldiers and…

My eyes widened in surprise.

On the grass, just in front of the grand entrance – no, I corrected myself – the east wing entrance, were many, many bodies. However, I noticed with dismay, many of them were still alive, with nothing more than flesh wounds – nothing really serious.

"Noctis!" I heard Stella's voice. I spun my head around to see her already at the crack where I counted our escape to be heading from.

I heard the rubble next to me explode. I jumped to the side, my heart racing, and glancing only briefly to see that a bullet had hit too close for comfort.

I reached Stella. She slid through, allowing me to follow, when I felt something bite my calf. I frowned, but continued. The feeling was off, it felt cold, no, and I frowned. I looked down briefly, and froze.

* * *

The lighting was dim, of course, there really was no purpose in keeping a place such as this alight, no real reason, and even if it were as a courtesy of those who had to stay there, they still wouldn't. No courtesy, no favours. There were no such things where they were. There were no amicable relations between the delicate balance the two groups found themselves in:

The relations between a prisoner and a jailer.

The jailers were hunched over a grey metal desk. On said desk was a lamp, metal as well. The white light it produced was blinding, and incredibly irritating, but it was better than sitting in the dark.

The two guards sat slouched, one of them held his head up by the back of his hand, the other leaned far back into his chair. They were playing a game of cards, and already she knew which was going to win. She considered calling it, but voted it to be too troublesome to bother with. Why should she help either of them, even at the excuse of causing one misery?

In the end, if she were to ever say anything to either one, it would be when she can hurt both at the same time. There were no compromises; hurting one while benefiting the other would just balance out to having two mundane guards, despite one feeling better while the other sulked.

She frowned, rolled her eyes slightly as the two guards grumbled to one another. Still, out of sheer boredom, and perhaps a force of habit, she continued to watch them.

One was larger than the other. The larger one had a beer gut, grey hair, and a double chin that forever seemed to have some sort of leftover food hanging off of it. The thinner one was actually pretty good-looking, if she had to admit, but every word out of his mouth was like nails on a chalkboard. Irritating to hear, boring to understand.

They were playing poker – poorly, she noted – and neither seemed to know up from down in it. The thinner one, who was leaning far back in his chair, had shaggy brown hair that looked like he had bed head, and a colour of eyes that she couldn't explicitly identify, but knew they were dark in colour. His cards were resting on his crotch lazily; while the other's set of cards were held loosely in his hand.

By the way that the thinner one continuously looked conspicuously over to where his co-worker's cards were.

"This is so boring!" She heard a man grown, though, she also knew, that the voice didn't belong to either one of the guards. In fact, they seemed irritated and even more annoyed at the break in silence. She, herself, found the owner of the voice annoying, but couldn't deny the fact that she longed to hear it – or any of theirs.

How could she help it though? She was stuck in a cell all by herself; there weren't any other cellmates to even see of whisper to. The only way she could have any sort of communication with anyone is if she spoke loudly. And, as odd as it seemed, she felt that breaking the thick heavy blanket of silence was a taboo that she couldn't bring herself to unleash.

With his loud voice breaking it, she felt compelled to reply, and, inevitably, internally grateful for the break in silence.

She would never admit it though, for to be grateful to Cy for _anything_ only enticed many annoying jeering and teasing in the future. It was an unwritten rule; you can be as grateful as you want towards him, as long as you don't actually act upon it – a thank you, or even the smallest murmur of appreciation.

She suspected that he knew that others were generally thankful for the things he said – sometimes – but didn't expect any sort of gesture in return.

He was odd, she concluded. He made a big deal over the most frivolous of matters, but when a serious issue came up, he shrugged it off as if it were nothing. He was an enigma, an annoying one, but one that gained her grudgingly respect all the same.

Not, that she would actually _tell_ him that.

The beautiful strawberry blonde tilted her head to that it faced the top of the metal bars blocking her off from the rest of the world. Did she consider Cy a friend? Yes, she supposed she did, more so than the other two, but that was probably just that annoying quality of his that made others like him – or wholly hate him to the bottom of their cores.

"Cy, grow up." She heard the other, Saul, the rather uptight friend of-

She swallowed down her worry for the missing member. He wasn't with them, though that was obvious, and while she normally would have been relieved at that fact, there were the guards' taunts. They said they already beat him, that he wouldn't come to rescue them – not that she cared about that part, she was certain that if she was given an opportunity she would be able to get out on her own accord (whether that was just boasting or not on her part was ignored and suppressed from any conscious thought) it was the part that they were so certain, so vexingly certain that he was as good as gone that got to her.

She was not some flowery maiden who sighed and worried her heart out whenever her prince charming left off on some adventure and might not come back. No, she wasn't anything at all like that. She did not voice her worries, she even did her best to squish them as far down as she could, but that annoying hollow feeling in her chest.

Was this how Serah felt with her fiancé? Was this feeling that made her feel sick and pathetic love? If so, she wanted out…

Or… did she?

"LiGHTning!" Cy called out, his voice gaining in crescendo in the middle of her name before dropping in diminuendo near the end, like he lost the energy to finish her name with the same fervor as before.

"What?" She grunted, forcing her voice to sound gruff. It was harder than she thought, all the talk about Noctis seemed to have constricted her windpipes. She took in a deep breath swallowed hard, before clearing her throat.

"Never mind."

"Don't mind him, he looks like the walking dead over here!" Faust called out, bringing a small smile of amusement to Lightning's lips.

"Eh! This ain't a sleepover! Shudup!" The larger of the two guards snapped.

Cy grumbled loudly in response. "What can you do? We're already in fucking prison." Cy growled out. His voice sounded whiney though.

"How 'bout we don't feed ya and see how that mouth of yours works then." The guard rebuffed, standing up and glaring at where Lightning assumed the blond was. The smaller guard groaned and lifted one hand to rub his eyes in exasperation before settling on pinching his nose.

"Carlos, its your turn." He muttered.

"Ha! That's all you can do? You're quite a pussycat for a guard, hmm?" Cy spat out. Lighting closed her eyes and forced herself to not follow in the – so far – quieter guard's example and pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Cy, shut up and get some sleep. You sound like what I imagined a soaked cat out if it could talk." Faust groaned.

"You imagine cats can talk?" was the reply he got from the blond.

"Shut the fuck up you annoying-"

"Carlos! Shut the fuck up, sit down, and play your fucking hand!" The younger guard spat out with vehemence. The large guard looked surprised at his co-worker, before wordlessly nodding and sitting down. Lightning raised an eyebrow of appreciation at the smaller and probably younger guard – he was definitely her favourite one.

Then, as she continued to watch, she saw the smaller of the two heave a sigh before quickly glancing at his cards and throwing them down. The other looked surprised, and gently laid his cards down.

"Double five's," the smaller one muttered, "and with what's down makes three fives. You have nothing." He stood up, before walking away and up the stone steps to where Lightning – and she was sure the other three in the cell next to hers – considered freedom.

Lighting couldn't help the smile crawling on her face; he didn't even say it. She wanted to laugh at how pathetic the other, large guard was as he gaped at the cards, his gaze rotating from his cards to the others.

"He won…" The guard whispered in disbelief.

* * *

The cold numbness in my leg had only lasted a second, really, only long enough for me to stumble through the crack and get to relative safety. It had felt like a bite, then, I could feel the figurative shock as it worked its way from my leg to my brain.

When I looked down to see what it was that was making it really hard to walk, my brain seemed to get the message my nerves were sending.

Pain spread through my system, ripping a soft cry from my lips as I stumbled. Stella spun at my cry and her eyes zeroed in at the wound on my right calf.

"God, Noctis, you got hit?" She asked me incredulously, as if she couldn't believe it. I swallowed hard as I looked down at the blood gushing down my leg, only to be soaked in by my pant leg. The blood joined all the other bloodstains, but it didn't really matter. We had to get out of here. So, gritting my teeth, I waited for Stella to run over to me. She grabbed onto my arm with her good one, and swung it over her shoulder. I leaned on her, but was careful of her own injuries.

"Alright, we have to get a move on." She said through gritted teeth. My mouth was clamped down so hard I couldn't speak if I wanted to. "Noctis? Remember what I did?" I nodded, but didn't really know what she was talking about. My leg felt like it was on fire. "I'm… not sure what will happen, but I'm going to use it to get us far away… okay?" I vigorously nodded, not really caring. I think the bullet might have his my bone; I wasn't sure, but it seemed to be the most logical excuse as to why my entire lower leg was in agonizing pain.

Then, through blurred eyes as I forced to keep them open, I saw the dim reflection of the yellow rune, before the most unpleasant feeling washed over me.

It felt like I had been sucked into a vacuum, unable to breathe, no, not even that, it felt as if my breath had been sucked from my body. My organs felt like they were pushing against my skin to get out, and it also felt like my stomach had dropped to my feet.

Then it got worse.

It felt like my insides were being forced out of my body, I tried to scream, but there was no air. I couldn't breathe, but I didn't feel any burning in my lungs. Was that because my lungs were actually _out _of my body right now?

Gravity came into effect, and then we began to fall. My half-lidded eyes noticed that we were in a different place, very, very different, and definitely far away from where we were. However, the next thing my fogged mind told me was that I was in danger. Very, imminent danger.

The cement ground came rushing up to meet me, and I was powerless to stop it. My body was screaming at me to move, but I couldn't. I didn't know where Stella was; I didn't care. I was going to die, or end up in a very painful mess that would shortly lead to my death.

Self-preservation kicked in, and I reached out to grab something – anything. My hands met air, and my body screamed at me to do something – anything.

My eyes burned slightly then, and then, darkness.

* * *

_A/N: Wow... I feel bad. Okay, I updated it! Yeah! And I actually have a visible plot line, so, I PROMISE to have the next chapter out by next friday. One chapter a week!... hopefully... Anyway, I hope you enjoy. LONGEST CHAPTER YET! Thanks for the reviews! Feedback WOULD be nice.. *hint hint* *wink wink* _


	8. Cogitation

**Recollection**

Chapter 8: Cogitation

* * *

Stella had landed on the outskirts.

When the pulling sensation had finally abated and she could see the sky once more, the cloudy sky that seemed too dark to be morning. In fact, it seemed morning had simply forgotten to come that day. Depressing thought.

She found herself in the air, and at first fear gripped at her heart and held it in a vice, squeezing so hard each heartbeat seemed inexplicably painful.

Fear didn't usually stem from her, especially when something as mundane as falling came into place. However, there were several differences from when she usually fell and now.

Usually, when she fell, it was because she had expected to. Now, for instance, she could swear truthfully that when she had started the strange technique of teleporting from one place to another, called _Shifting_ she always knew where she was going to end up and she always ended where she expected to.

When she had started, she had pictured them at a bar that she had seen once. It wasn't that far away, so it _shouldn't_ have been to hard, but for some reason…

Noctis was missing. The ground was rushing up to meet her, and honestly she didn't think that she had enough energy to perform another _Shift_. She felt exhausted, like the only thing that was keeping her awake was her own hammering heart, and her loud, piercing scream.

The dead wasteland of cracked, dry earth rushed up to her at an alarming speed. She closed her eyes, however, not out of fear, but in concentration. One more time, she would just have to _Shift_ once more and then she'd be safe.

The fall would hardly kill her, she knew, but she also knew that being stuck in the outskirts with two broken legs at least, she would be in some serious trouble.

She grimaced as pain exploded through her body as she made one more shift, this time only to the floor, to the ground, a distance of less then five meters. It should have been effortless, however, she could only feel the ripping sensation as the bullet wound in her shoulder opened up and – probably – skin ripped, making the wound larger and more serious.

Her body jerked as it hit fell the foot from where she was and where she had _Shifted. _She took in a deep gasp of air, before promptly passing out.

_

* * *

_

There is a place between consciousness and unconsciousness. It could be called a conscious state of inertia, or it could be called half-awake, or even half-asleep. Either way, it exists. It is the state of being where muscle memory dominated, where it's extremely hard to lie, and where you too far asleep to care about what's going around you but too far awake to simply _not_ know.

It was in that state of being that he found himself in as he did the near impossible. Too far gone to remember what he was doing, yet awake enough to do it in the first place. His eyes, half lidded, noted the danger, but the complications of side-teleportation had stripped his full awareness of him.

He saw the ground as it rushed up to meet him, however, as it was such a normal site to his muddled brain, he did nothing more than shift slightly, no panic, no fear.

After all, why be feared of something he was so blasé to?

The sensation of falling had never lasted this long, he knew, but it didn't concern him. Instead, he found it inside him, the one thing that was so familiar, more familiar than the back of his own hand, and figuratively latched onto it.

Though the crystal was by no technical means actually inside his body that did not mean that the connection to it wasn't. He grasped hold of it with no effort, and with practiced ease, his nerves sent messages through it.

His eyes flashed a different colour, settled on it, and then, faster and more practiced that Stella had accomplished; he vanished.

Naturally, there should have been the ghostly form of the rune as he flitted through space, there should have been the slight pain underneath his heart, but like he had noted before; Stella was terrible at it.

He, on the other hand, was masterful.

The rune was near invisible, in fact, it was. Naturally his rune would always be harder to see compared to Stella's glowing bright gold, yet there was no denying that the ease in which he cut through the space of the physical world was far better than the beautiful blonde's.

He appeared next on the ground. His head hammered, and all his body wanted to do – screamed at him to do – was lay down and sleep.

He was more than happy to oblige. However, he almost groaned. She would be upset if he wasn't back. Scary, yes, she could be more than a little scary, but he knew that she had good reason to be. Still… he shuffled his feet.

Had he been fully conscious, he would have wondered how he was able to stay in that state for so long, but alas, his current self couldn't care less. The only thing he could think of was how much of a fool she would make him feel once he got home.

A fool, yes, but it seemed she needed one around; too rough around the edges, he thought. He began to wobble as he took a step. He paused.

His eyes drifted close, the dark heavy blanket wrapping itself around his brain as he struggled to stay away long enough to get home.

A nap… wouldn't hurt, he thought, as he stumbled. He then reached out, trying to find something to reach out and lean onto. He found nothing. So, instead, he fell unceremoniously on his knees as his hands reached out until they hit the cool pavement. His hands groped the ground until he relaxed the rest of his body onto the ground.

He would get some more sleep… then go home.

Hopefully it would be before she gets _too_ irritated, he thought lastly as he gave up the fight and fell into a very, very deep sleep that he would awake from, even more disoriented and confused, his memory of his thoughts gone, leaving him only with the memory of what he did but not _how _he did it.

That, and a very, very prominent headache.

* * *

Fading… in and out… unable to grasp onto reality, that was where I was. All I could understand was how… heavy I felt… how undeniably heavy, like I was in water, only with a weight dragging me down, further and further, deeper into the void of the endless sea.

I felt something else, like I was at a loss… like I had suddenly forgotten everything again, and honestly, I could have.

I was too heavy… it was such a struggle to even remain in the dream-like state, rather than simply slipping into the black abyss. I couldn't think…

So I didn't.

I couldn't stay in whatever exhausted space I was in…

So I didn't.

Darkness consumed me once again.

* * *

Was she used to being so useless? No, in fact, she could barely ever remember being so completely helpless before.

It irked her. In fact, it made her irritable and cranky even more so. She hated that too, she realized. How she was slowly loosing her control, her cool.

Cy had commented that she was finally sparking; like wet would to a persistent and constant flame. She had promptly told him to be quiet. This, of course, was responded with a chortle and a teasing remark; one that she wouldn't recall if only for the fact to save herself from the light dusting of a blush that would inevitably show up.

She did _not_ blush often, and when she did… she would prefer it was somewhere private… like her bathroom, when she was all by herself. Or… any room, really, as long as the only occupant was her.

Being stuck in a prison cell hardly seemed to be the appropriate place to blush like some pathetic maiden of lore; a damsel in distress.

If anything else, she would sooner die than actually _act_ like a damsel in distress. Right now, she was not a damsel. She refused to even entertain the idea. First of all, she could hardly be called a damsel. For those who knew her it was hard to actually call her 'girly', as when they did, they promptly received a cold stare and perhaps a punch to the jaw.

She was also not in distress. Sure, she was in prison, but she was not acting like a pathetic, scared cretin that coward in fear each time her captors came round.

Actually, the only person who seemed to be taking this sentence better than she was Cy, and that was only because he treated this like a joke; nothing more than a minor setback.

And that was probably because of his experience in places such as this.

Speaking of which, she mused, she never actually got to hear of. She had refrained from asking him before because she knew that whatever his past experiences in jail; they weren't exactly pretty, and were probably more horrifying that he would ever let on.

He was, after all, a traitor in his own country. He had come, fleeing from his own home to the city-state, which the Caelum Dynasty ruled over.

She scowled at the annoying pang in her stomach, knowing fully well what it was.

Still, the thought of him wormed its way into her mind. It was incredibly irritating, and any fruitless attempt at squashing it seemed to go unhindered.

So, forming a listless gaze at the empty wall in front of her, she gave up and reminisced, thinking back on how they met. Perhaps that way she could get rid of the annoying feeling that rose to her throat that made swallowing seem near impossible.

Small flashes of memory flitted through her mind's eye, however, when it didn't seem to be enough, Lightning let out a minute sigh and steeled herself for doing the one thing she seemed to crave the most on; recall everything, from the beginning.

* * *

_Three Months Earlier_

She ran a hand through her thin strawberry blonde hair, ruffling it a little as she sighed in exasperation. Her sister's idea of a 'vacation' was incredibly pitiful, at least in Lightning's mind. True, her idea of a vacation – not one she would prefer – would be a relaxing weekend on a warm beach in an exotic resort. Of course, as Lightning didn't like that idea of a vacation, she was slightly glad that when her sister had suckered her into a vacation they didn't end up anywhere near her perception of a vacation.

No, instead they had to go to the city-state that their home country was practically on the brink of war with. While it wasn't a stereotypical vacation, and actually was suited better to her tastes more than anything, Lightning couldn't help but wonder about her sisters common sense – or lack thereof.

The city was magnificent, it was magical and stunning and utterly breathtaking in its modern technology that far surpassed anything in Tenebrae. Where buildings stood tall with clear, reflective glass and fresh, new pavement on the roads, where luxurious stores lined the streets that boasted how well the economy here was.

Clubs would light up with such attractive lights and colours that others were practically hypnotized into going towards them. Restaurants all had their own flair that made each one a hotspot. Yes, Lightning couldn't deny that she was entranced by the city-state… well, its downtown area, at the very least.

It was a pretty small area, after all, only a sixth of the size of Tenebrae…

Which always seemed to confuse Lightning, after all, many nations over countless times had attacked the place…

And to date… no one has one against it, not even the superpower, Tenebrae, who couldn't really win, but didn't loose either.

What did they have that Tenebrae didn't? Lightning continued to cogitate on the matter as she strolled through the brightly lit streets.

The Crystal was the most likely answer, after all, the entire 'cold war' had been about who had the ultimate weapon – the Crystals. She knew that the city-state had it, and that those in the Caelum Dynasty protected it with their lives.

But that was no excuse, Tenebrae had a Crystal of their own; there was logically no reason as to why the city she was in hadn't been reduced to complete rubble.

What was so special about this place?

She sighed minutely as she turned the corner of the street, her view of the space ahead of her temporarily blocked from the smooth concrete corner.

As she finished the corner, she prepared to quickly stalk over to where their hotel was; she would get her sister, and then probably get dragged along to something frivolous; like shopping. Honestly, how many clothes did one person need? Lightning knew she had enough, but Serah… she had more than enough and then double that.

And yet she still continued to shop.

Her body solidly collided into something else. The shock of it forced her eyes wide open in shock as her heart unconsciously accelerated as the feeling of falling, no, being thrown off course by her own momentum, caught up with her. She heard a grunt and then felt leathered fingers grip her shoulders before she continued to fall.

However, instead of falling and colliding into the cement sidewalk, she found her face pressed into cloth of someone's clothing.

"Are…" She felt the person underneath her shift slightly. He groaned, but managed to sit upright. "Are you all right?" He asked, as the voice definitely belonged to a he. Lightning growled slightly underneath her breath. She looked up to glare at him as she quickly detangled herself.

Her first thought was that he was incredibly good-looking, with sharp features, dark blue eyes and black hair, the second, as that he looked like he had just woken up, complete with disheveled bed head, and the third, was that he hadn't apologized yet.

"Can't walk in a straight line, can you?" She snipped, knowing she was being unfair but not really giving a damn; she was in Tenebrae's army, after all, and the man before her was a city-state citizen: an enemy.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking slightly bewildered at her snappish attitude. She sighed, stood up by herself and waited for him to stand up himself. One he did, and brushed himself off lightly, he looked up at her. "Sorry, miss," he apologized again, and then turned to walk away. His actions seemed to be forced, and belatedly, she realized that he was shy.

"Hey, hold it!" She ordered, and watched in satisfaction as he paused and turned slightly to her, looking confused. He didn't say anything, but she noticed that his features were perfectly schooled, but his body posture practically screamed 'uncomfortable'.

He didn't say anything, instead waiting for her to talk. "My sister always says I need to work on my own manners before judging someone else's." She began, and noticed how his face stayed neutral, but she had no doubt he was wondering what she was talking about, given that he was still there. "Have a good day." She said.

"Oh, have a good day… to you too." He said awkwardly and began walking off; he pushed his hands into his pockets and set to strolling down the street, not once looking back.

Which was honestly no problem, figuring that she had been at least somewhat nice to someone, and would be able to report it to her sister if and when she decided to nag her about being mean, and 'if you keep that attitude up, you'll never get a boyfriend!'.

Lightning honestly thought that Serah would never let her live it down that she, the younger of the two, had gotten married before her older sister.

She paused, hating how much she was actually considering it. She didn't want to be assaulted by her sisters teasing and 'advice' for the rest of their vacation, after all, she had already started. Serah had started off subtly, gently hinting about how great it would be if she were to find a guy, then she began to point out handsome men to every place they went to. Now she was gently suggesting that she should ask them out on a date.

Lightning took a gander that by tomorrow Serah would be trying to set her up on a date without the strawberry blonde's knowledge, much less permission.

Or, she could take fate into her own hands, get her sister off her back, and actually get some sort of love life.

Steeling herself, she spun on her heel, using long, graceful strides to catch up with the handsome man – the man, who, surprisingly enough, had actually give out a semi-apology. He seemed as good as any other, she reasoned. She could ask him out on a date, and if he said no, then she would tell her sister that she tried and not to bug her anymore. If he said yes, she would actually go on the date and still get her sister off of her back.

As least this way it was all of her own accord, instead of being set up with some random guy that her sister thought would be good enough.

That, was her reasoning.

"Hey, hold it!" She repeated. The man walking in near dancer-like strides paused, obviously recognizing her voice. He turned, his body immediately showing its discomfort. Lightning found she actually liked it; it gave her courage for what she was about to do. "Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me?" She bit her tongue down, refusing to allow any more awkward words flow out of her mouth.

She absolutely hated to admit it, but his deep, dark blue gaze made her squirm, but she remained diligent, standing tall and confident, despite the nervousness that assaulted her stomach.

She realized just then why she never dated; she acted like such a silly little girl every time a guy was involved. She could fight with ease, and could mold into the role of a killer like a second skin, but to date a guy?

She suddenly became a completely different person. Well, a completely different person emotionally wise. She was always, _always_ so eager to open her heart, but that completely went against her ethical values. She didn't have time for such stupid emotions, and yet, here she was, standing, nervous, her heart fluttering like a humming bird while her stomach was assaulted with those annoying, figurative butterflies.

"Oh," He finally sounded. And though she didn't know it, her face dropped slightly in disappointment. He shifted on his feet awkwardly.

She didn't want to be rejected, she realized; Serah was always going on about how pretty she was, how drop-dead gorgeous, but it seemed her looks never made up for her brash, cold behaviour.

"Listen, this is hard, so… say yes." She told him sternly. "I'm only here for the week; it's no commitment on your part."

"Then why are you so desperate?" His question surprised her, and hurt her.

"Because," Lightning started, she looked away from his face, "My sister will be bugging me about it and will probably intervene on some point. I like control in my life."

"So… this is your control?" He asked, looking at her with a slight from on his face. "I'm Noctis… but you can call me Noct, if you want." He offered, rubbing the back of his head in what was obvious discomfort.

"Lightning."

"Is that your real name?" He asked, sounding interested, she shook her head.

"Only my sister knows it; so don't worry, it's not a lack of trust on my part…" She trailed off; completely unsure as what to do right now… apparently, he didn't know either.

"Um… I was heading somewhere," He began awkwardly. "So, would you like dinner instead?"

"That would be acceptable." She allotted, and the two stood awkwardly next to one another, like this was her first date and his also, not like two adults who should by now already be well versed in the game of dating.

"I'll pick you up at seven?" He asked, sounding amusingly awkward, and normally, Lightning would have laughed, had she not felt the exact same thing he was.

"Um… eight, would be better… I'm staying at the Grand Vespera hotel. I'll be… in the lobby, you can meet me there?" She asked, trying to put a brave front up, but found herself failing. He nodded.

"I'll meet you then… Lightning." He said, bowing a slight farewell before walking off, leaving Lightning to nod to herself in confirmation, before turning on her heel and heading back the way she had come, pointedly ignoring the light burning around her ears, signifying a prominent blush assaulting her cheeks.

When she reached the corner in which she had bumped into him, she carefully banked widely, as to avoid cutting the corner as she had not moments before.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry! I planned to update only a week later, but that didn't work out, does this make up for it? Oh, What do you think of Lightning and Noctis' meeting? I always thought that Lightning would be awkward when it came to stuff like her own feelings regarding a romantic relationship, and Noctis would be awkward around strangers period, especially if they randomly came up to them, asking for a date..._


	9. Textbook Theory

**Recollection**

Chapter 9: Textbook Theory

* * *

When a body gets too hot or too cold, the body's automatic defenses kick in. When a body is too cold, goosebumps would trail along the persons skin and said person would immediately try to find heat by friction or other means. If a person is too hot for normal sakes, sweat expels from the body, and the person tries to find a cooler place.

When said person is unconscious or asleep, at the sight of extreme temperatures, their bodies defense systems kick in, and then, if those defenses do not initially work, or the extreme temperatures are too unbearable to the body, the system wakes the person up.

That is, if the person wasn't in a pain and exhaustion induced sleep.

So, while Stella's body had attempted to wake her up far earlier, Stella herself couldn't get past opening her eyes. She could feel the warm, blistering hot sun, and her dreams swam around it, but she didn't have it in her to move.

She was just too damn tired.

Her muscles felt like they were held down by weights, each one heavy enough to make her muscles shake with effort, but unable to actually accomplish any movement. Her left shoulder, and the rest of the limbs connected to aforementioned shoulder, felt numb. They were even heavier than the rest of her body.

Her eyes peered open, a task all on itself considering how…. _drained _she felt. Her tongue felt hot, dry, and swollen, like she couldn't actually fit it back into her mouth. Her eyes felt as if their lashes had been glued together, her vision swam.

She had quite the hard time remembering why she was on hot, cracked earth and not in her own bed, where it was cool and the sheets welcomed and familiar, instead of feeling like she was about to die. She slid her head around, trying to get a look on where she was exactly, but only saw endless nothing. She could see the heat waves, and what she thought was a pool of water, but somewhere, her foggy mind told her that the water was just an illusion, a mirage, a reflection from the sky via total internal refraction.

So, she kicked a leg out so that she could twist her body some more. Still nothing, she saw with dismay, nothing but heat waves and cracked earth and sun. She wouldn't be able to _Shift_ back, and quite frankly, didn't know how she had managed to get all the way to the outskirts to begin with, as _Shifting_, in general, meant teleporting through short distances.

The bar she had been aiming for had only been down the street.

This, she mused through her haze, was completely illogical; there wasn't any sort of explanation she could come up with that would explain how she had managed to get so far away.

Unless, she thought, as she turned her head, ignoring the splitting headache and how simply turning her head caused her extreme pain, to the other side of her body.

And there, she thought, as she squinted at the sky, there it was, the _Light_, the only thing that actually tied her and Noctis together. It was shining behind her now. Did that mean she was close to death? It had happened once before, she saw it when she was about to die at the age of nine, but whenever it was dark out she had always been able to see it from that point on.

Did it really mean she was about to die? She cogitated; her mind screamed at her, trying to tell her that there was something, some_one_ who she needed to help. Someone she wanted to help since she met him.

_Noctis_.

The name whispered at the back of her mind, it sounded exasperated, and she knew why, she had thought enough about him in the last while, and yet not felt any actual concern, merely reminiscing.

She had to help him, even if it were only for the simple fact that she was probably the main reason that soldiers had stormed his castle, had taken over his city and probably put all the citizens into P.O.W. camps for extra labour.

All her fault, and yet, from their last encounter, it didn't seem like he really cared;

_Stella stood, waiting for him, she didn't want to see his face, so she had her back turned to where she knew he would be coming back, her gaze locked on the floor, filled with regret but bound by duty; he was the prince of her sworn enemy, her fathers enemy, and they needed the crystal, they needed it to replace theirs, so that the oncoming war between Tenebrae and the second largest country, Sanctum, would actually come out with something other than annihilation on their part._

_They were trying to steal something they had foolishly sold off, foolishly sold off and now wanted back, but the only known crystals in the world now, belonged to Sanctum, a country across seas that had once tried world takeover, and Noctis' city-state. _

_She heard his steps, it sounded almost as if he had tripped over something, but she didn't focus too much on that, only on swallowing the guilt that nauseated her, that figuratively leaked through her pours and made her heart almost too heavy to carry. She liked Noctis, as a friend and potentially something more; she seemed collected, but nice and, well, honestly cute underneath. Teasing him was fun, flirting even more so, and his reactions made it all worthwhile. _

_His reactions were always not what she would expect, as he appeared to have so many moods swings and different ways of approaching a subject that he always surprised her. _

_She wondered if, once again, his reaction to her… betrayal… would be outside her expectations as well. How would he take it? Would he be mad, would he not care, and simply go in for the kill? Would he walk away? _

_She didn't know, each one seemed possible, for while she had to run away from him before, after she told him her true identity, she had caught a glimpse of his confused face. _

_Before she stood there, Noctis and her were meeting again, it was mostly because of her; she had to see him again, so she called, told her to meet her, then simply hung up. _

_She didn't want him to find out any other way. _

_Again, she had worried over what he would do, but in the end he had arrived alone, without anyone trailing him, not even his three friends who seemed to hate her and love her, depending on the time of day. Cy, she knew, loved to tease, so he would always change his opinion of her, and treat her differently every few minutes, just to get her flustered, Saul always confused her, saying weird things and telling her false tales about Cy – she believed that was mainly just to tease Cy, though – and Saul always informed her coolly about anything she needed clarity on. _

_It was strange, but the only person who seemed to get a strong reaction out of him was Cy. _

"_Stella…" She heard Noctis' voice breathe out. "Why did you tell me?" _

"_Noctis, want to know something?" She asked instead, her question rhetorical. "I consider you a good person, I would like to be friends, and yet, when I go home, all I hear from Father is how he's planning to crush you and your kingdom, just to take something that isn't ours. I can't… I can't, I could _never,_ I should say, betray my people. _

"_Do you understand what I'm saying?" she turned to him, her face sad as she took in his emotionless mask; that was even worse than what she thought, "I have to take your Crystal, Noctis, but because, in another lifetime, I would have definitely considered you a dear friend, I told you. I will challenge you now, and if I win, I would please ask that you give me what I seek." _

"_I can't do that," he told her, making her wince slightly, her will wavering. Should she willingly loose? But… if she did, and if she helped him out, what would become of her people? Sanctum would annihilate them all, and she would be responsible, she would be the one with their blood on their hands. _

_Her will hardened, as only one thought flashed through her mind, 'I won't kill him'. _

_She activated the seal magic, and as the golden glyph appeared behind her, and a dark blue one behind Noctis. She closed her eyes; calming her tormented heart; there would be no more words. _

_In a flash, they began. _

She still had to fight; the war was still approaching, but she didn't think she had it in her to try and steal the crystal from him while he couldn't even remember he had a crystal to protect…

They had stormed the castle… did that mean that her father already had it? That would be terrible, no, not just terrible, it would be horrendous. Not only because it would destroy her deal with herself that she would take, but only by fairly beating him in a fight, but also because if her father already had it…

That meant she was no longer privy to sensitive information.

However… she doubted anyone from Tenebrae had a hand in Noctis loosing his memory, in that case, did that mean Sanctum was up to something? It would be tactically strategic to steal the only other known Crystal in existence to fully enforce their rule.

She thought back on to the uniform the soldiers at the crumbling ruin that was once the home of the head of state, of Noctis' home. She knew those uniforms; they were Sanctums. Did that mean that Sanctum had the Crystal? She didn't think so, for what use would they have to stay in enemy territory for so long, if they already possessed what they seek? Not only that, but they would have to immediately return to Sanctum; Tenebrae was the leading country in modern technologies; Sanctum would need all the men they could get.

Using her good arm, she pushed herself up, her body feeling like it was on fire, with the most prominent burning in her eyes, which were watering and demanding cool substance. Already she had a fever? She was worse off than she thought. Worse yet, there was no one around to help, nothing around that could help her spare her life.

Her arm struggled, and she soon found her body on the horizontal ground, her cheek pressing into the hot dirt.

She didn't want to ask the Light for help, ask it to heal her, have strange, unfamiliar magic that she wasn't used to at all course through her body.

Crystals were like conductors, that and they stored magic on their own, so they could be used for powerful spells, however, she also knew, that those that had been personally touched by the Goddess Etro, who could see the Light, were able to use magic of their own.

The only part that she didn't like, was when she was faced with an unfamiliar spell, such as a high level healing one, Etro would have to do most of the work for her.

"Please," She whispered into the dirt, her breath blowing some of it away.

"What is you're offer, then?" The familiar, ghostly voice replied, somewhere, Stella was surprised at how quick it responded, though, if she were feeling on par, she would realize it was because of how close to death she was.

"Anything," She breathed, knowing that she could simply refuse if the price were too high.

"Who is the one I know not of? I keep asking him who he is, but he never answers. The one who you wish to live for."

"Noctis…" She answered, and, when the voice did not respond, her heavy mind began to wonder why. Did it leave? Did she answer wrong? She was certain she said Noctis; did her voice not come out properly?

"Noctis…" The voice repeated, sounding like it was deep in thought, then, the next thing she knew, something strange flooded through her system, a feeling that, if it had to be described, would be called 'like wind rushing through the blood stream'.

Stella grunted in pain as she felt things done inside her, and squirmed at the unnatural feeling of the help she got from the voice. The voice could be Etro herself, or some demon, or anything, really.

As long as she got to help out Noctis. She didn't think that it was that big of a deal, really, surely the voice must have heard his name before.

Her eyes flew open, she grunted in pain as she felt a heavy burning in her wounded shoulder.

Then, unable to keep it inside any longer, she began to scream.

* * *

_Seven Months Earlier_

"The Mines?" A gruff, aged voice rang out, full of authority and wisdom. The man whom he was speaking to stood straight and attentive, afraid to even move one muscle.

Appearances could be deceiving. That statement was never so true when held next to the man in front of him. The King of Sanctum was anyone's best friend, or worst enemy. Worse yet, the subordinate knew, that not only could the man be his worst enemy if he so chose the wrong move, but he could also be his worst nightmare if he stepped one toe out of line.

A King had to have complete loyalty. Some went around it by kind words and noble actions, winning over the hearts of his people and followers, instilling a deep-seated trust that was unwavering. Then, the other option was to simply instill fear into those people's hearts. Fear lead to chances of disloyalty and revolts, but it was far easier and cheaper and faster to do so than to win over the people's hearts.

The King of Sanctum tried both approaches. To his people he was the noble King, and everything he did was for the better of mankind. To those in his army and council, he was the most ruthless Tyrant they had ever actually come across. The King's words were cold and harsh to those he demanded loyalty from, those who would be fighting for him. He had no time to mollycoddle them, he said, and, with a cruel smile, no time to bullshit them either.

Charming a public was easier; a few powerful words, one inspiring speech and some hand-fed lies and they would be bowing at his feet without a care in the world because they had such a _just_ and _right_ leader.

The subordinate looked upon his leader, the leader with the thick, graying golden curls and stubble. His blue eyes exhibited fake kindness and compassion, probably a default expression to fool any passerby's. His face was aged but not beyond moderate lines. There were permanent wrinkles set on his eyes, where he squinted far too much, his eyebrows looked to be constantly furrowed, but while the public thought it of worry, he knew it was a permanent scowl.

"The miners have found less than half of their quota, your majesty." He told the King, his voice sharp and concise; how the King wanted it.

"Damn it." The King cursed under his breath, the words hidden by his hand, which he was using to hold his head up, "All of them?"

"Yes, you majesty."

"Seems like I finally found it then." The man chuckled with near glee, his powerful, well built body shifted and resettled himself back into his throne. "Inform the Generals, I want them here immediately."

"May I inquire why, your majesty? They might wish to know." The subordinate, which, while being in charge of the overview of their accounts and financial affairs, knew that he really was nothing more than a servant to the King.

"Tell them… we're going to war."

* * *

_Three Months Earlier _

She stood waiting, feeling nervous and pacing despite the fact that it was only 7:40, and already worrying that he wouldn't come. It didn't matter; of course, it would just be nice if a guy weren't frightened off by her… unorthodox behavior at first meeting.

Her sister had already picked out her outfit – that one was still on the bed, untouched and never will be touched. Lightning had straight out refused; there was no way that she would be caught dead wearing what her sister had picked out. So, when Serah finally consented to something more… her style, Lightning took it with a grunt and quickly changed into it. Really, she didn't see much of a reason to dress up in the first place.

'If the guy sees that you changed for him, he'll know that you're interested!' That was Serah's response. Of course, Lightning couldn't understand why she needed to change clothes for that; wasn't asking him out enough?

Sighing, aggravated, she pinched the bridge of her nose, willing the headache that began the moment she told her sister of her plans and lasted all the way until that point.

"If you're not feeling well, then we don't have to go."

She knew someone had walked up to her; she heard him the moment he reached ten feet near her, but, while she was preoccupied in taming her own, unmanageable headache, she hadn't paid any particular attention. Surprise, she looked up in near shock, and straight into the eyes of Noctis.

He hadn't changed.

She cursed her sister for making her change clothes; now she looked like some over-eager idiot.

"I'm fine. You're early." She noted, knowing that it there still had to be at least fifteen minutes before eight.

Noctis looked away, and seemed to decide his words carefully; not looking at her. Her immediate thought was that he was lying. Her second was that she had no right to care or be bothered by it.

"I just came from the appointment I mentioned earlier; I figured it would be better to just… go, rather than wait."

"It's all right; I hate tardiness." She told him before her sisters words rang out at her, screaming at her to never, ever even mention flaws on the first date; keep it positive.

Lightning wasn't that much of a positive person.

"You sound like Saul." He muttered, before looking away again. "There's a restaurant just down the street that would be suitable…"

"Then let's go." She told him, hating how awkward it was being, but for some reason unable to keep the burning in her ears down; was she getting a fever?

* * *

_Present_

"Eh, Lightning!" Cy called out, immediately getting yelled at by the guard. Strangely, after a comeback, Cy quieted down; almost as if he were waiting for something. Then, strangely enough, the guard left; shift switch. "Hey, Lightning!" He tried again, this time, instead of yelling, he hissed out loudly, so as to not actually use his vocal cords.

"Drop dead, Cy."

"Sure thing," he answered immediately, making Lightning roll her eyes and a small smirk to form on her lips in amusement, "Kay, think, if you use _that_, you know that freaky voodoo shit that Tenebrae's been using to mutate their soldiers, we can get out of here?"

"No. You think I haven't thought of everything?"

"Yeah, but you haven't tried magic with it yet, have ya?" Cy began to giggle.

"I think you've been in here too long, Cy, you're starting to sound like some deranged lunatic." Lightning told him sternly.

"No, actually Cy's telling the truth." Faust's voice echoed through the room. "Ever wonder how Noctis can use and do what he can do? This idiot over here can do some of it too; he sucks, but he can."

"All we need to do is to unlock whatever it is that's stopping you from using that crap, right? It's the fancy jewelry on our ankles that I honestly don't think suits me all that well…" Cy asked, his voice still soundless, but sounding like hisses. Lightning looked down, her eyes finding the strange ankle bracelet attached to her.

Of course she knew that electromagnetic fields would inhibit her use of the 'freaky voodoo shit' that Cy spoke of, for the ankle bracelet was actually a _tracker_ and had a radio signal sent somewhere that inhibited her use of it.

A slow smile crept up on her face. "Better do it fast then, Cy; I hate tardiness."

* * *

_Okay, because of all the pressure of exams and yada yada yada, this chapter may seem rushed and all over the place, however, this chapter has a TON of plot shifting stuff in it, things that will come up later (obviously) So, for the effort I put in to actually update at the END OF THE SCHOOL year, REVIEW, ya?_


	10. Conspiracy

**Recollection**

Chapter 10: Conspiracy

* * *

Working under pressure was hard; working under pressure with something that was never firmly grasped was even harder. However, knowing that worrying would literally get them nowhere, Cy let out a sharp breath, rolled his shoulders back, shook his head, side to side in a motion that loosened the muscles in his neck, and reached over to the lock on the door – he only prayed that it would work, otherwise Lightning would fry him alive.

Eat him too, knowing her.

So, with his hand placed firmly against the bar, he began to mutter an incantation. Truth be told, it had absolutely nothing to do with opening locks, but he figured if he simply blew it up, all would be fine and dandy.

Again, if Lightning knew this – and the fact that there was a high possibility that he might blow her foot off, he would be fried – and definitely eaten – alive for that.

As the incantation finished, a loud, shrilling bang echoed through the room. Cy, who had turned his face away and squinted his eyes during the final moments of preparation, let out a sigh of relief to realize that the entire door was still in place. He turned, and noticed with satisfaction – courtesy of his rather large and inflated ego – that the locking mechanism was smoking.

That either meant they could get out or were locked in there until they starved.

He hoped for the former. Tentatively, he pushed on the door.

It didn't budge.

He cursed, and then gripped the bars, just above the lock, and began to thrash at it, trying to make it slide sideways.

It still wouldn't budge.

"Let me guess – didn't work."

Cy was _definitely_ going to be roasted alive – and then eaten. "Ha…ha… right." He muttered, before letting his head fall and hit the iron bars, the echo might impressive for such an act. "I'm so screwed."

* * *

Stella lay, facing the setting sun, panting; her body covered in a sheen of sweat. Her wounds healed, but her body taxed. Her mind was foggy, swirling in and out of consciousness and sleep, so much so, that when twilight arrived, she opened her eyes, the day behind her, and gone.

A groan escaped her parched, cracked lips; her face and skin only spared a severe burn from the lingering healing spell that had forced its way into her body. Her throat felt like sandpaper, her eyes felt dry, and her body felt drained.

She supposed it made perfect sense; she never did too well under the heat of the sun, being prone to overheating and near heat strokes.

She sat up, immediately holding her head in her hands, and began to force her body into breathing deeper, gulping the cooler air greedily. A shake to her head, and she began to work on standing – a feat, as her legs wobbled and her arms provided no support.

Standing, she looked around, trying to find any remnants of modern technologies that would provide some inkling as to how to get back. She squinted, trying to find anything in the incoming darkness, when her eyes settled on a sign.

The closer she walked, the more she was able to see what it said – 15 km from where she was. Stella faltered slightly, as seeing the large number, but then, as she belatedly realized – 15 km was far smaller in miles.

Sometimes the metric unit difference between Noctis' home and hers was beyond irritating.

* * *

_Three Months Earlier_

The food was good, no; better – if she were honest, _far_ better – than what she was used to. The only time she had better food was at her sisters wedding. Lightning glanced up from her meal, a fillet mignon, and glanced around. The restaurant didn't seem like much; modern, of course, but it wasn't so fancy that she felt out of place. Dark colours with dim lighting, however it was busy enough to make her feel comfortable.

That, and her date seemed just as nervous.

"Why did you agree?" Lightning asked, breaking the painfully awkward silence between them. IN response her date looked away, his face uncomfortable.

"It's not everyday that I'm asked, I guess." He flicked his gaze back to his food, his face near blank, but his shoulders still stiff and his body rigid.

"That the truth?"

"Who knows," he shrugged in response. "Why'd you ask?"

"Because." Her laconic reply made a smile crinkle up on his face, so much so that she felt more comfortable, even just slightly. "What do you do for a living?" Lightning asked, as it seemed to be the proper thing to say – or, it was what couples talked about in the movies Serah made her watch.

His face clammed up, becoming a canvas even she couldn't decipher, however, strangely enough, his body language was nervous.

"What, is it embarrassing?" He shifted, his eyes darting his jaw tensing, his face melted slightly, though, as his eyes showed his worry, or what she guessed, was worry.

"You're scrutiny isn't all that welcome." He admitted, before ducking his head and taking another bite of his food.

"Scrutiny is all that I have." A lie, but in a sense true, she supposed.

"What a dull life you must lead." He muttered, to which she ignored – not many people could talk with her like this and not bail or become cold. Noctis only seemed worried – odd, true.

"I'm a soldier – for Tenebrae, what are you – a nurse?" She guessed.

"I'd rather be a librarian, if you're going to guess." He looked up at her through his eyelashes, and, for some reason, Lightning swallowed, despite the fact of having nothing in her mouth. Oh, and her stomach… what was the word? Fluttered? Is this the feeling Serah was trying to describe to her when she first met Snow, or was this simply indigestion?

"Librarian it is, then." She assented, mostly to move on to a different topic, so he would finally sit straight.

The two looked away, not able to continue the conversation due to personality 'flaws'; Noctis unsure of what to say, and Lightning afraid to say the wrong thing.

For some reason, she actually wanted to try with him.

"Um… you… ah, how old, are you?" Inwardly, Lightning winced at the dumb question she asked.

"Twenty-three."

"I turned twenty-one last month." In response Noctis nodded, before looking away again. Lightning took to tapping her forefinger on her thumb.

"I hate parties." Noctis stated, his eyes locked on a loud celebration where a table of ten were talking loudly and laughing. Lightning flicked her gaze over to where he was looking.

"What, not one for celebration?"

"Not one for socializing." He then scowled slightly. "Bad childhood experience, and bad experiences ever since." He then took his hand and ruffled his hair, before rubbing his hand down his face.

"I can handle parties; I'm not that comfortable, but…" She then sighed, aggravated. This date was a disaster; it didn't take a genius to realize it. She wasn't one to talk much and he didn't seem to be the type to share much.

"Do you want to leave?" He asked, his voice soft. "I'll walk you back if you do."

"No. It's alright," She started, before sighing and twisting her wine glass between her forefinger and thumb. "I can make it back home on my own." She then stood up, only hesitating to ask one final thing. "You've got the bill, right?" Noctis nodded, and she continued on her way.

It somewhat felt as if she had lost.

* * *

I groaned, no, I tried to, nothing ever escaped my lips, my mouth, no, perhaps my throat? Why was it so hard to form coherent thoughts? I hurt, but couldn't tell where, my eyes were closed, or… I didn't have eyes – perhaps I was blind? I knew I could see, but… I struggled to think of why it was possible that I could be blind.

It didn't feel as if I had a body, it really didn't.

"Hey, do you think he's alright?" An almost childish voice asked, the accent was strange; she was probably from another continent, perhaps Sanctum, the people on the outskirts and in their villages had accents like that.

I wondered from where I knew that.

"What do you mean? He looks like a corpse!"

"It could just be a costume." The first voice explained. A girl and a boy, it sounded like.

"What should we do?" The boy asked, he sounded worried. "We have to finish our…" The darkness began to come up, and near swallow me whole. Their voices began to fade.

"…e can't just leave him h…"

I couldn't make out anything past that.

* * *

The King sat at his thrown, his eyes scanning the other council members. None of them feared the King, but none would dare disrespect him either. He was a powerful man, but as were they, merely one station down from him, and, if need arise, the next potential successors to the thrown.

"So…" One, near the far left of the table began. "You're using the excuse of lack of resources to wage a full our war?"

"I think it's a good enough reason for the people to go along with it – the majority, at least." Another, sitting two seats down from the King, reasoned.

"Yes, but we still haven't acquired an untainted Crystal; we won't be able to destroy the fal'Cie without that." The first countered.

"That's precisely why we need to invade Tenebrae, Charles," the King interrupted, "If we own Tenebrae as well as Sanctum, we can utilize their military and their land; killing all the fal'Cie would be more manageable."

"You're majesty," A quiet voice intervened, this one sitting directly to the right of the King. "If the legends on the fal'Cie being the keepers of life true, then what? You'll bring a plague to all of us?"

The room hushed, the King's face became blank, and _bamn_! He slammed his fist on the table, so loud it resonated throughout the huge hall. The King turned to face his advisor, a man by the name of Victor DuLor.

"I AM THE KING." He roared, "I WILL _NOT_ BE FRIGHTENED OF SOME HOCUS POCUS! THESE FAL'CIE HAVE BEEN A NUISANCE SINCE THE BEGINNING AND NEED TO BE ERADICATED!"

The advisor merely looked at the King calmly – he _had_ dealt with the man since he was five years old, so the twinge of fear that was instilled in the other – a fear they didn't even acknowledge, did not exist at all within him. "I was simply reminding you that you must be aware of all possibilities, You Majesty." The man consoled. "They are capable of destroying cities and bestowing plagues among our people – you're parents included – so we must think of what they also do. The outer villages believe fal'Cie to be the givers of life; why plants grow, why there is air. Their existence is unexplained, unless you look to-"

"Legends?" The King asked incredulously, "Folklore? You're basing you're opinion on fiction!"

"All I'm saying is that the legend is repeated. For instance, in Tenebrae its believed that the Goddess Etro gave humanity the Crystals in order to communicate with her, and in the outskirts of Sanctum, its also believed that the Goddess Etro – along with others – created the fal'Cie to watch over humankind. If both the fal'Cie and the Crystal exist than why can't-"

The blade resting lightly on his windpipe cut off his words, Victor unconsciously swallowed, while the rest of the council members tensed, looking ready to move to stop their King.

"I'm not telling you to believe, You're Majesty, I'm merely telling you that destroying all the fal'Cie on this continent for a vendetta may not be the wisest decision. You need more proof – perhaps restrain them all-"

"Won't work." The King said through clenched teeth, pressing the blade slightly against the tender flesh of Victor's neck. "Palumpolum, remember? It was there for only three months previous."

"You are the King, You're Majesty; I hold no power over you're final decision." The advisor cajoled, raising his hands to slowly and gently remove the blade from his throat. A trickle of blood leaked down from the small cut. The King growled out, frustrated, and removed the blade completely, sheathing it next to his famed gun. His piercing gaze scanned the other eleven of the members.

"We attack Tenebrae and leave PSICOM to retrieve the crystal. Once half of Tenebrae is taken over; we begin operation DOWNFALL."

* * *

"What do you think happened here?" A raven-haired woman asked, as the three walked through the debris and carnage of the streets.

"It's horrible." A young redhead agreed. "What do you think – Hope?" She bent her head, so that she could gaze at him. The young boy in question merely looked surprised at the attention and averted his gaze – he was still unfamiliar with them. The redhead, Vanille, frowned. "Hope?" She asked, slowing her steps to match his. "What's the matter?" She questioned, changing her voice so that it was cheerful – he seemed to like it when she smiled.

"It… it looks like Palumpolum." He muttered. Vanille, in sympathy, let out a cooing 'oh,' before wrapping him into a hug. Hope jerked, "ah," he let out, before trying to push her away, a light blush on his cheeks.

"Now, now, you two lovebirds," Their third companion, a woman by the name of Fang, chastised, and before Hope could contradict, Fang held up a hand, "now's not the time. We have to reach the Main House – hopefully everyone's being held up there."

"Yup!" Vanille cheerfully exclaimed, jumping slightly on one foot. "Then we can see if we can learn more about our focus."

"That's right." Fang smiled at her childhood friend. The two had grown up in the outskirts of Sanctum, until, of course, _that_ incident which they were made into l'Cie. Hope had become one too, in yet _another_ incident at Palumpolum. Strangely enough, they were the only ones they knew of who were affected.

Fang frowned, before continuing on. It was only a hutch, but if there was an outbreak, then the fal'Cie would probably have chosen more than just one and two people, but a whole group or whoever was closest to it. So, where were the others?

Sanctum had _yet_ to make a statement about it; she doubted even the military knew, or were told. However, the inner chamber – they would definitely know. They were the only ones the King talked to at all.

"Huh? Hey, Fang! Look! Over there! There's a person!" Vanille's shocked remark pulled the eldest of the three out of her reverie, and she blinked, realizing that the two had already passed her, and seemed to be talking about something. Curious, concerned, perhaps some other emotions as well, Fang quickened her pace to see what the fuss was about.

* * *

_A/N: OH GOD, I'M SOOOO SORRY! - for the lack of updates. However, now there's a new direction, and new characters, and a conspiracy, and all that - hope you like it! Oh, and for those L/N fans, remember - they DO get together, don't let their crappy date fool you - and I don't mean in the end, I mean between the date and the present (if you're reading carefully enough, you should already know that). Oh, and before I forget THERE'S a NEW POLL! This one is whether or not I should move Recollection from its place in VERSUS XIII to a new home in the crossover spot - since nearly the whole gang is here now! VOTE! (and on my last one, 107 people voted! Its fishy, but I'll take it as it is.)_

_Oh, and this should be the last of 'what's going on around them' and Noct will finally (officially) be back by the next chapter, so things'll slow down and chapters will get longer. _


	11. Outskirts

Recollection

Chapter 11: The Outskirts

* * *

Dawn in the Outskirts was marvellous. The rising sun from the wastelands bled into the quaint homes, turning the white brick and concrete an orange colour. The roofs faintly sparkled, the windows gleamed, and the lawns were yellow from the lack of water, and garbage twirled along the streets, almost as an afterthought.

It was completely empty.

Silence; it was the only thing Stella could think of as she walked along the desolate scene. She could see how the buildings progressively got larger, as they reached further into the downtown area, and could relate to how people could live there, despite the heat and lack of scenery.

It made her homesick.

Tenebrae was bursting with life. With thick, rolling fields, and plenty of farmland between the major cities, there was green everywhere. Towering forests, enormous mountains, large, gorgeous lakes… well, that was how she saw it. Slowly things were dying, though no one knew why. It was happening near the borders they shared with Sanctum. The plants were drying up, being more prone to forest fires; lakes were drying up as well.

A slam. It shook Stella out of her reverie; her head snapping up to meet the noise, but all that she was met with was an old shed door that had slammed shut from the wind…

No, she frowned; the door would have been pushed open, due to the direction of the light breeze. Her feet hesitated, before finally stopping, then backtracking towards the shed. She stopped, staring intently at it, before tensing, and walking towards it.

Stupid fear gripped at her, despite her knowledge that she would be able to fight whatever was behind the door. She tentatively walked towards it; however, she froze when she heard a howling. It sounded distorted, almost like a whining, instead of a real howl.

Slowly she turned on her heel, holding her hand out so that if she needed to, she could summon her rapier at the moments notice. Her eyes scanned the scenery, cursing herself for not being more careful. The Light's magic probably kept the creatures away before, but she couldn't know how much longer it would hold. The wastelands were always known for their tough and terrifying monsters, whose jaws were larger than normal and teeth dipped in poison. They were faster than other things, though that made sense; they were running on a dry expanse – they had to be faster than their prey.

People on foot had to be well equipped or else suffer the consequences; or so she had been told, personally she had never seen one.

They were fabled in Tenebrae to the result of mutation in breeding; sort of a aftershock to changes in their environment and habitat, or something like that. She didn't share her tutor's fascination in biology.

The snarling got louder, prompting her to use magic. It was cursed, she knew – an aberration in humanity. Magic, gifted only to those who hold the Crystals – or the mark of the l'Cie. However, it always came with a heavy price.

She had to see the Light to be able to use the magic that the Crystal presented. She had to nearly die – and she would have – to be able to use it.

And she was still paying.

L'Cie had to complete a focus or else they would become a monster. They, however, paid each time they used it. Noctis seemed to be anomaly in that aspect, though. She had always wanted to ask him on it, especially after the fight…

Well, that was just a _little_ hard now.

Each time they used magic, they began to slowly die. The less magic they used, the longer they could go, and the more they used it in general, the more they could build up their bodies endurance.

_Shifting_ was backed by the same principles. Energy was slowly taken up, more energy for more the effort, until finally they reach exhaustion. Once that is passed, their organs begin to fail.

Using magic was deadly, though thankfully, merely summoning _one_ weapon was easy, and took next to nothing to do – fighting fatigued her as it would for any normal person.

Magic acted as a disease, now that she thought on it, recalling a fact she had missed initially. There were long time effects too. She didn't know exactly what it did, though she did now that her grandfather died at the age of twenty-three from overuse of magic. Her father had just been born; he had no siblings.

It was sad, and what was even sadder – no, even more unfair – was that if they _didn't_ use magic, they would die as well, just like how the l'Cie would become monsters if they didn't complete their focus. Stella _had_ to use magic, for it gave her life just as much as it took it away. She couldn't live with it, but she couldn't live without it either.

Her feet had moved her forward towards the street, the glowing glyph fading as she clutched her rapier in her hand. Nervousness bloomed in her stomach.

She had always prided herself on being able to read people; and, in turn, their movements. Wild animals were so bloody unpredictable she might actually have some trouble. She cursed her misfortune, but it wasn't as if she could _actually_ do something about it. Fight or flight, and since all the doors were bordered up with wooden blocks, she had to fight.

A small voice at the back of mind nagged her that perhaps she _wanted_ to fight, to get rid of the weakness that others could exploit. Noctis had done so, when he caught her off guard with how _fast_ he moved, how flawless he could fight. He fought with strategy, but his movements were to fast for her to keep up properly with without the aid of magic.

She walked up the street again, the shed forgotten, straining her ears as she tried to catch any source of sound. A low growl from behind her brought her to spin on her heel, her eyes taking in the monstrous beast.

It's fur was pale; blonde – very close to the colour of the wasteland's cracked earth. Stella unconsciously gripped her blade. This beast was _large_. Its shoulders came up to Stella's waist, and its jaw could easily wrap around her entire head. Its eyes were yellow, looking too small for its oversized head. Its paws were twice the size of Stella's hands, and the creature's claws dug into the grass that it stood on.

It looked to be heavier than her too; Stella cursed under her breath, readying herself. Her weapon was made for fighting, not for killing. Thrusting was its speciality, and her entire fighting style was weaved around that prospect. The only time she had broken it was when she had fought Noctis… damn, she had been pitifully upset then…

The monster snapped its jaws, and leapt without any warning. Stella tripped on her feet, stumbling back at the sudden movement.

It was fast, weaving in front of her and leaping again to snap at her arm holding her weapon. She danced away, dodging the creature, and neatly thrust her blade forward.

The sandy creature moved almost minutely, and managed to dodge. Stella cursed; she was fast, but her blade wasn't strong enough to handle slashes unless she enforced it with magic…

It growled, deciding for her.

She could feel the heat as she summoned another rune to reinforce the blade, flimsy for heavy attacks and blocking, but ideal for getting under defences and fast attacks. The blade gleamed, and the heat faded. Stella flipped her hair away from her face, and jumped to the side as the wolf-like monster leapt at her again.

She didn't exactly know how she felt; this thing was playing her with after all. She narrowed her eyes, and hunkered down her will. She never really liked taking the offensive, much more preferring counter-attacks.

She shifted her stance, and waited; she needed it to move first for her attack to be successful. It came, the creature leaping directly at her. However, instead of dodging, Stella did likewise, twisting her body so that she would avoid its monstrous jaw. She dragged her blade down, cutting down in a diagonal ark, hitting the flesh of the creature's shoulder, before _shifting_ a foot away as it snapped at her.

It whined, limping slightly on its left foreleg, before growling ferociously at her.

Enough was enough.

Raising her hand to its opposite shoulder, her hand lightly clutched in the air, she could feel the small glyph as it glowed on her palm, burning with the dark magic of fire. She then threw her hand out, aiming it at the creature as it leaped towards her, its movements slow and predictable with its injury.

Fire erupted, and a painful, ear-piercing whine escaped the beast as it was consumed with fire, its fur catching and burning almost instantaneously before hitting flesh. It cried in pain, sounding so ghastly and horrid that Stella didn't waste any time in running up to it, raising her blade, and thrusting down to it, her blade cutting cleanly through its neck.

The fire continued to burn, though without anything to feed it, it was slowly fading. The creature twitched, withered, making Stella look at it with self-disgust and pity. It finally stilled, and Stella pulled the blade out, the blood so bright it nearly looked pink as it dripped off the blade.

The smell of burning flesh made her wrinkle her nose, as she tore her gaze away from its body. She stilled as she took in the sight of yet _another_ being, though this one was no threat.

A small girl, wearing dirty shorts and a shirt that was far to large for her small frame, tentatively waved at her. Stella looked at her curiously before waving back.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Stella asked brightly. The little girl didn't answer, but instead waved at her to follow her, before turning and running back.

Without question, Stella followed.

* * *

I couldn't quite make out why exactly they were helping me. Of course, it showed they had high morals, but some part of my brain kept screaming at me, warning me that they might be an enemy, and not an ally.

It probably had something to do with how I felt.

Not emotionally, but physically.

I felt sick, horridly sick; sick to my very core. My muscles failed me whenever I tried to move any further than a few centimetres. My head spun, and though I could see, everything was foggy and misty, like there was a wall of smog right in front of me, and no matter how much I blinked, it wouldn't abate.

Infuriating in the least, being so weak.

"Hey!" That bright, cheery voice broke through my fogged sense, and my eyes trailed over to where she was, leaning forward, her hands bracing herself on her knees; she was smiling at me. I couldn't make out much of her face, though I could see bright red hair. I struggled to grasp where red hair was common, though couldn't. I was met with glass, glass so slippery I couldn't even rest my hands on it.

I tried to reply, but all that I managed to exalt was a low gurgling noise. This, for whatever reason she had – strange as it was – seemed to please her, for she clasped what I assumed were her hands together and jumped slightly. "Well, that's good! At least you respond," She then leaned forward and began to whisper, as though she was apart of some conspiracy, "I was beginning to think you wouldn't wake up." Though, by her tone, I knew she thought anything but. "My name's Vanille, and this," She pointed, though I couldn't see what she was pointing at, "is Hope, and that," Again, he couldn't see this mysterious companion of hers, and by the way her voice faltered and her hand retracted, she couldn't see her other companion either. "Hmm, I guess Fang's looking around. Don't worry though!" She laughed then.

Another voice called, though I couldn't make it out, I did however hear Vanille's small whine before she muttered, "Oh, all right then." And walked away.

"You should get some rest." A new voice, though one I believed I had heard before, told me. She seemed to be to my right, but I didn't have the will to turn my head, so I took her advice – perhaps this was Fang?

My body welcomed the sleep.

* * *

"Well, that was a complete flunk." A voice, which would have sounded smug had they been in any other situation, said offhandedly.

"Fuck off." Another grumbled, sulking like a child for his failure. "I think I might have melded it together…"

"Cy!" Faust exclaimed before slapping him upside the head. "Idiot! You couldn't think of _anything_ else?" The scar-faced man then rolled his eyes in exasperation before falling silent, Saul, however merely pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose before turning his head away; the idiot wasn't even worth it.

"I know, I know! I thought it would work okay? It _would_…_should_ have worked, it just didn't!"

"Cy; just shut up." A muffled voice barked out, making Cy wince.

"It's not _your_ cell I fucked up – so piss off Lightning!" He shouted back, too irritated to deal with the sardonic woman. Silence followed, before Lightning sighed, and ran a hand through her hair.

"It's not the end of the world – if you fail, try again. Sulking will get you nowhere."

Cy laughed once, though it was more for the irony of it than any humour. He shook his head, and turned a contemplative gaze at the bar. In the distance he could hear footsteps coming; the guard shift finally came. It meant that any ideas he had would have to be made silently, in his head… something he was _terrible_ at.

* * *

_Three Months Earlier_

Dating just wasn't her thing, she convinced herself. She even admitted that she could and probably would stay single for the rest of her life; Serah had even admitted it – Lightning was almost 'freakishly' independent. Just because when she _tried_ to have a normal relationship, it ended horribly didn't mean she should feel so angry.

She tried, and yet it didn't work. She should have known better than to listen to Serah, who had practically everything. She had a husband, a home, a decent job – a _normal_ job – and was already talking about having a baby.

"You just have to try; I bet you could get almost anything you wanted if you tried – you know?" Her sisters voice sounded in the back of her mind, making Lightning shake her head, just to get it out of her head.

She looked down idly at the outfit Serah had put her into. The dark blue silk dress was her sisters – the girl could look good in anything. It ended mid thigh, which she didn't care in the least about; most her normal wardrobe did so, but it was the neckline that had her a little skirmish when she first put it on.

It wasn't a deep V-neck, but it still showed off more cleavage than Lightning was accustomed to. It was accompanied by thick straps that held the dress up, a darker shade of blue than the rest of the gown. Her shoes were black, her hair was down, and she wore no make-up – she _refused_ anything further than that.

She turned on right at the intersection, and continued down the street, her memory and sense of direction impeccable. She heard someone behind her, and actually tensed, her training kicking in. Lightning looked surreptitiously over her shoulder, but only saw a tired looking woman wearing a uniform and a coat – a maid returning home.

She shook her head, wondering why she was feeling so jumpy.

She heard the click of a gun's safety go off, making her freeze.

_Ah,_ she thought, _that's why. _

_

* * *

_

"You don't think he's a l'Cie, do you?" Hope tentatively asked, shifting his gaze between Vanille and the unconscious man. "I mean, he healed a lot faster than I thought he would."

Vanille shrugged as she held herself, holding her food over the fire they were in front of. Her hair looking as if it were alive in the dancing light, her eyes looking hauntingly shallow. "I didn't see a mark."

"I didn't either." Hope muttered as he ate the food they managed to lift off of an abandoned grocer. All the perishable foods were rotten, so they had to take cans of food. "Do you think he knows what's happened here?"

"He doesn't." Fang answered in Vanille's stead, as she walked back towards the campfire. She had taken it upon herself to scout the area, and make sure that there weren't any other wandering souls around. Strangely enough – there weren't. "This happened a while ago," she gestured the ruin of a main floor they were currently in. "I checked; this place was hit by bombers, though it was probably evacuated beforehand. He, on the other hand, was still alive, with wounds that had yet to heal," she shrugged, "I'd say he came after all this mess."

"I guess." Hope muttered, glancing at the unconscious man not too far away. "What if he's an enemy?"

Fang threw him into a headlock, before she ruffled his hair, and laughed. "He can barely stay awake – you really that worried?"

"Hope's a worrywart." Vanille teased, before taking her food off the fire. She took the plastic spoon she had and stirred it. The claw like device she used to hold the can over the fire was placed beside her, and she used her shirt to dampen the heat of the metal as she ate the soup.

"Hey!" Came the indignant reply, making Vanille laugh.

Fang watched the scene with a raised eyebrow, and a knowing grin.

* * *

_A/N: The next chapter! Yeah! Longer than the last, and hopefully better. Read, Enjoy if you enjoy it (obviously) and review - please? Seriously those make my day. _


	12. Until Tomorrow

Recollection

Chapter 12: Until Tomorrow

* * *

Hope had watch, though he doubted that Fang was actually asleep, so he had the pretence of watch. With a low grumble he pulled his knees to his chest, staring into the fire while straining his ears for any movement. He heard the wind, the low whistle as it blew through the desolate city, but that was nothing new.

_Nora_.

His mother.

He looked lower, his eyebrows pinching in worry. Dead, most likely, and it was his entire fault. His and that group's - that group that had no right to use her name. Team NORA, what a joke; they were too preoccupied with playing hero that they couldn't actually be heroic. His mother got sucked into it, and now she was gone. Perhaps she was dead, injured, captured.

All Hope knew was that she wasn't with them any longer, and that their home was nothing but rubble. Everything was wrong, and he knew it. He was an L'Cie, cursed to die regardless of whether they completed their focus or not, an enemy of the state, and victims of a war he knew next to nothing about.

He was sick of playing puppet.

Someone yawned, dragging his attention away from the dark coals of the fire. He watched as Vanille stretched, like a cat, as she yawned, before blinking at him blearily. It was early in the morning, and, despite any presumptions that Vanille was a heavy sleeper, she always seemed to be the first awake – not counting those that were already awake for watch.

"Morning!" She called to him cheerfully, and Hope managed to smile back. How annoying she had been, so happy and optimistic no matter the circumstance.

That was until he had caught her staring so intently in the fire, with a pained mien, that he finally understood that she suffered just as much as he, perhaps more. Fang knew the story, Fang shared it with her, but neither had told him. Yet. Vanille, when he had asked, merely smiled and put a finger to her lips.

"_Some things happened." _She had whispered conspiratorially to him, before winking and continuing on, like nothing had happened. It made him wonder, because at first, he thought that what happened couldn't have been such a big deal.

That is, until Vanille woke up screaming bloody murder and crying.

He had never been so scared for someone else in his life. Of course, there was his mother, but even his worry for her didn't hit him with full force as it had when Vanille had screamed and sobbed – she sounded so heartbroken. It sounded like she had lost everything she cared about, but that couldn't have been true; she had Fang, and the woman seemed to care for Vanille like an older sister would.

"Morning." He replied after swallowing his thoughts. He almost felt like asking her if she had any more nightmares, but thought better of it. He had learned, after the nightmare incident, that the only way Vanille could really cope was act like nothing was wrong; like everything was how it should be. He didn't understand how she could do it; he didn't even understand why she did it. "How can you keep smiling?" He blurted out, before his mind could even register what he had said. He wished he could take it back, especially when he saw her smile fade and her stare at him with such a serious and mature expression he couldn't help but hate it.

It was like she had died. Vanille was never supposed to stop smiling. She always smiled – as long as the beautiful girl in front of him _continued_ to smile, things would be all right. There would be some good in the world – there had to be some good in the world – if Vanille could smile in it. Her silence was unnerving, and her attention had been dragged to the fire long ago. Her eyes looked haunted, pained, like she was reliving an experience that was far beyond his capability to understand.

"It's better than crying." She eventually whispered back to him. Hope, feeling guilty and actually being responsible for her mood change, felt as if he should say something, and once again, he spoke the first word out of his mouth.

"I like it when you smile."

Vanille paused then, and Hope felt like an utter moron for telling her that, in fact, he felt like kicking himself, then going to go crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. It didn't help that Vanille, he learned, was a year older than him, since he just ended up sounded like some stupid kid with a stupid crush.

Was a crush what he had?

Impossible.

Then, to his immense surprise, she smiled. She was beaming, actually, and the way her posture relaxed, he instinctively knew that he had fixed things, though he wasn't precisely sure how. "I like your smile too." She said, but he felt like he was being made fun of, but for some reason, he found he couldn't care less; she was smiling again.

As long as she smiled, everything was going to be all right.

Somehow.

* * *

Daddy said never to bring solders into the Hideout.

The blonde woman hadn't looked like a solder, but she fought like one. Actually, truth be told, the tall, imposing blonde woman frightened the young, eight year old Claire Summers, but she had a job to do. Her Daddy told her to, so do so she would. Of course, just to make sure, she would ask her Daddy beforehand if it was okay to let her into the Hideout.

The lady might not have known it, but she had saved the young girl's life. The creatures were close by and she couldn't leave nor move from her safety. Her Daddy had put her there, told her to be a big girl and watch for any solders and then come to him immediately if she did.

She remembered the others yelling at her Daddy, saying she was too young and little for such a big job. He told them she was the – sad as it was to say – fastest, non-crippled person there was, and that they would make sure she was safe; they would protect her. She was small enough to hide away without being noticed; she would be all right.

She wasn't sure is she was supposed to hear the next part, but she couldn't help but spying on her Daddy; it was fun.

Her Daddy then began to tell them that the main reason he was giving her watch, was because if the 'fight ever reached the Hideout' then he didn't want her in the 'crossfire'. Claire Summers didn't understand what he meant, but her Daddy sounded sad, so she guessed it was a bad thing, and left it at that.

The blonde woman didn't seem as threatening as she did before, as her sword had vanished into thin air awhile ago, but the blood that stained her clothes still scared Claire, so she ignored the woman's questions and inquiries. The lady had magic, though, that was all she could tell – and she could help them if Daddy thought she was nice enough.

"Little girl, can you tell me your name at least?" The blonde woman asked behind her, and Claire paused slightly, knowing she shouldn't talk to strangers – that was a bad thing to do, her Mommy had taught her that before she decided to make a home for them to go to in Heaven.

"I'm… Claire." She said hesitantly, before walking again, more timidly this time. She had just spoken to a stranger, would Mommy be mad? Claire told her Daddy to tell Mommy that she wanted a room with a lot of windows – would Mommy not give them to her as punishment? She would have to ask Daddy when she got home.

"That's a very pretty name, Claire." The woman said gently, and Claire nodded shyly in agreement.

"My Mommy gave me it; Daddy said it was her Mommy's name, but I never met her. He says that my Grandma is helping my Mommy build a beautiful home for us in Heaven, that's why they left." She spoke, nervously but more freely than she thought she would. The woman behind her paused, and Claire turned to see what was the matter – did she see another mean dog?

Instead, she saw the woman was looking at her sadly, before giving her a watery smile. Claire didn't understand why, so she tilted her head questioningly. "What?"

"I'm sure your Mom and Grandma are making a beautiful house for you." She responded, and Claire smiled brightly at her.

"I told Daddy to tell Mommy that I wanted lots of windows and lots of pretty flowers! I also wanted a swing," She spun then, smiling brightly up at the blonde woman, "I told him I wanted a red swing! I think that will look pretty, don't you? I also wanted to bring all my stuffed toys – Daddy said that I can't take anything to go into the Light, but that I can have as many toys as I want there – as long as I wait long. I don't know why, but he says Mommy and Grandma need lots and lots of time to make out house, and that it would ruin the surprise if I went before I was old and wrinkly." The girl began to walk again, now feeling more comfortable with the blonde lady – she wasn't so bad. "I asked him why it would take so long to build it, because I really wanted to see Mommy, but he told me that the house was made out of love, and I had to help by living a long life and loving lots and lots of people so that Mommy and Grandma will have stuffs to make our house with!"

The girl then stopped, and fidgeted again. The blonde lady behind her asked her what was wrong, since she had long since given up asking where they were going, since Claire would simply ignore her if she did.

Claire herself knew she had done something bad. Daddy told her not to bring strangers here, but she was too busy telling the blonde lady about her house in Heaven that her Mommy was building to remember. She spun on her heel, facing the blonde lady sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, lady." She said, "But I have to ask if you can come in. Daddy might be mad, though."

"Are you hiding from the people that did this?" The woman asked seriously, and before Claire could respond she continued, "I'm looking for them too. I think a friend of mine was hurt really bad by them." She continued, and Claire didn't realise that the woman was only speaking the half-truth. "What did they look like?"

Claire hesitated even more, but eventually yielded. "They were all black, and had sharp swords and loud guns. Daddy says their bad people."

This made the blonde lady freeze up, and tense almost unnaturally. She spoke then, whispering 'oh no', but Claire found that the blonde lady didn't seem to be actually talking to her. Her Daddy did that often; he said he was just 'talking to himself'. Personally, Claire didn't understand why people would want to talk to themselves when they had their imaginary friends, but still.

Maybe their imaginary friends went to help build their houses in Heaven.

* * *

Their new guard was a fucking asshole.

Not that he was particularly nasty to them, but the man had… certain habits that drove even Cy up the wall. Biting his toenail, for instance, in front of them, biting his yellow, disgusting, rotting toenails and bending in a position Cy wasn't even aware a guy _could_ go into. That, and the man passed gas like it was going out of style. One moment, there was just the musk of the dungeon, the next, he and the rest of the prisoners were gagging and choking because the smell was so vile.

He had thrown up, actually.

Faust had pushed his head against the bar, so that when he threw up, the majority of it was outside the cell – they would have to clean it up then, least one of their Generals or Captains makes time to wander down to see how their prisoners were doing.

Which they hadn't yet, but that was beside the point. They _could_ come at a moments notice, and the fact that the vile was _their_ side, would be completely unacceptable. Or, at least, that's how Faust explained it when Cy was finished, with two large indents were his face had been pressed against the metal bars.

Besides the gas, the man seemed to be beyond pathetically stupid. Cy and the others weren't sure if he was just doing it to piss them off, or if he actually had that low of an I.Q. It was possible, Lightning had supplied once in the three days they've had him, since no other guard seems to take shift when the walking garbage dump was around.

Cy thought it would be a pretty good goddamn time to escape.

Except for the fact that he all but _welded _the fucking lock together. They'd have to kick it down, if Lightning ever got out, because no key could possibly actually _fit_ into the mess the lock was in, courtesy of Cy – something neither Faust nor Lightning will ever let him live down.

"Think we can scream 'Boo!' and the man will pass out?" Faust asked Cy under his breath. Cy, with a bitter laugh, was about to reply, when heavy footsteps interrupted him. All four of their attentions were brought towards the noise, since no other guard seemed to be willing to step in a ten feet radius of their current guard.

The sight had made Lightning tense, and it made Cy fear for his life.

"Ah, so the traitor ended up here, I see. It's a pleasure, Sergeant Major Cy Losian." The man greeted benevolently, though his cruel smile spoke otherwise.

* * *

I sat next to them by the fire. It had turned dark an hour ago, and we had already eaten dinner – Fang was currently boiling water to make food for later. I was welcomed, but I didn't feel like a belonged there. Fang seemed something like a surrogate mother, Hope was the logical one, and Vanille seemed to be the glue that kept them all together. I understood it, and for some reason, I felt like there was a similarity between them and people I knew.

Which brought back the irritability of the feeling of familiarity, but with no memories of who they could be. I had the sense that for a moment, I actually had remembered everything, but now that I was fully conscious, they had fled back behind the thick glass wall I couldn't penetrate.

One thing had remained though, thankfully.

_I had to get back home to her_.

I knew that wasn't what I had actually thought then, or, I guessed, as my memories had left, leaving nothing more than a sense that they happened.

I wasn't certain who I had to get home to, but for some reason, rather than a face, I was fully aware of her smell, and her feeling – I it could be called that. For reasons unknown to me, I could tell she always smelt clean, if that made any sort of sense. I couldn't decipher the exact scent, but I knew she always smelt like soap and clean clothes. Her hair was soft – I knew that as well.

I clenched my fist, to fight the longing, because I didn't, then I would wonder, and I would get irritated that I couldn't seem to remember anything else.

It brought back other thoughts, too.

I couldn't stop the bombardment of thoughts, and, now that I had a clearer view of the person that I seemed to be looking for, without actually knowing it, the thoughts that solidified were turning into concrete worries.

Was she safe? Alive? Did she worry about me?

"So, Noctis?" The redhead caught my attention, and dragged it to her. "Where are you from?" Ah, I thought, friendly small talk. It was actually nice, talking to someone who didn't have a clue who I was – refreshing.

"Here." Yes, I knew that now, I grew up in the obliterated castle that now, crumbled, stood not far away.

"You know what happened?" Fang asked, as she poked the fire with a stick, causing sparks to erupt around the pot they had placed above it, which was slowly reaching boiling point.

"No." For some reason, I felt that, were Stella here, she would have laughed at my taciturn answers. I wasn't certain why, nor did I have the energy to really analyze why, but I knew I liked her smile. This brought a frown to my lips, and I began to do the very thing that I had, literally a second ago, told myself I wouldn't do.

If Stella were the one – that is, assuming there actually _is_ a one, wouldn't she have told me?

Probably, unless some strange feelings from long past were being dug up, and I only felt what I could've a long time ago.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Vanille teased lightly, "You're nothing like the old man, though, all he does is complain about how he's 'too old for this'." The pretty teenager used air quotes to add to the sentence, and I found myself smiling slightly.

"What old man?" I asked, if only to keep conversation flowing. She was an easy person to talk to, like a child would be, only I had a sense that Vanille was equally – if not more – mature than even Fang, though I couldn't prove it.

"Sazh; we're actually going to go and save him. See, his kid was-"

"Vanille!" Fang barked out, letting her voice cut the redhead's sentence. Vanille stared intently at Fang, and for a moment, I had the feeling it was _Vanille_ who had more authority, rather than Fang. I couldn't understand it, but Fang, despite her air of command, when challenged by Vanille, seemed to lose it. It was like Vanille was really her superior, but that hardly seemed possible.

Either way, I doubted they would answer me if I asked, so I kept my mouth silent. They were helping me, and I hadn't died in my sleep yet.

Fang backed off first, which added to my point, but Vanille didn't say another word, and everyone fell into a silence before Vanille turned her smile to Hope, and began another banter with him. I couldn't help but smile at the sight, since – at least to me – it was rather obvious that the boy got flustered easily around her. It was either because he did like her, as his body language seemed to suggest, or he was just wasn't used to being around girls.

Then again, it was hardly like I was an expert on the matter. I couldn't stop stuttering over my words and making things awkward. I was lucky as hell I managed to find her when I did otherwise…

Otherwise what?

The thought came so fast, and for a moment I felt whole again, like I could remember my past, but now, it had fled.

Once more, I was left wondering whom I was thinking of, and once more, I was left with the feelings those thoughts dragged with them and left them. Feeling agitated and restless but not knowing what I could do to stop it, was infuriating.

If she were only there, if only I saw her _again_, then perhaps all this confusion would go away. She would probably hit me and call me a moron for letting my guard down, but that was okay – the memory, the thought drifted and I was left alone again, despite the people sitting around me. I would have groaned, but that would have brought attention to me, and I did not want to be caught thinking such thoughts that didn't even have an end to them.

I was getting sick of it, to be perfectly honest. A part of me actually wished I never met Stella again, or never recovered my memories, because then I could start over and wouldn't have to worry about every small thought that went through my head because it might not belong to _me_ but the person I was before.

I looked down at the clothes I had been wearing since I could remember – it was funny in its own grim fashion. Absentmindedly I wondered why they hadn't commented on it, but then remembered they probably found me half-dead, so it was better not to ask questions.

"Hey," Fang called to me, and I focused my wandering attention on her, if only for the moment. "We're going to be heading out tomorrow, so if your coming, you better get your rest. You should know, anyone else would have died; you're lucky we found you." She commented, her eyes piercing mine, "Vanille will check up on you in the morning, but you should be fine enough to walk, I think, though I highly advise against fighting." She added with a smirk, looking pointedly at his clothes. "We'll find you something else when we can." She added, and her smug, mocking look reminded me of someone, so I looked away.

She was right, I needed rest, I could already feel it in how my thoughts were running off and my attention was fading.

I settled down, placing my head against the bag the set out for me to use as a pillow.

Why was it, when I was tired, memories came back faster than they would usually?

And why was it, that when I was tired, I almost felt like there was a different person, waiting to take over.

Why was it that I was scared of him?

* * *

A/N: Okay, very sorry for the long wait. I hope you guys are still with this. However, with the new year of 2011! Woo! (Happy New Year Everyone!) I have made it my resolution to update more often (among other things) So, hopefully the next chapter will be could before February. I hope you guys like this! (Oh, and this fic is promising to be _very_ long, so relax, breathe, especially if the pairing you want isn't happening like you thought you would. I wanted it to be a surprise in the end and a damn surprise is what its going to be. READ AND REVIEW!


	13. Collective Nouns

Recollection

Chapter Thirteen (Part One): Collective Nouns

* * *

_Three Months Earlier_

The barrel of the gun was pressed against the back of her skull, shaking, but there. The safety was already off, her life hanging precariously on edge. Of all things that could have happened, she had to be _robbed_ by some damn hag. Her hands were raised in the air, and she began to turn slowly, the gun pulling back slightly so that she could complete the movement. Odd. Usually thieves didn't want you to see their faces, unless the woman actually thought she was stupid enough to believe that she wouldn't recognise her with a mask on.

The woman held the gun with both hands, as if it helped quell the shaking.

"Is there something you want?" She bit out harshly, not in the mood to deal with stupid civilians who couldn't even hold a gun to a person's head.

"My family-"

"Spit it out." Lightning ordered, and watched amused as the woman winced and held the gun up higher, the shaking making the aim shift from to the right of her nose, to her ear, to her eye, and back again, though in no particular order.

"Give me your money." The woman said with as much conviction as she probably could manage. "I know you must have some, all dolled up like that." Her accent was strange, Lightning noted, as she looked the woman up and down. It was clear, but it almost had a lazy drawl in some letters, mostly in her vowels.

"And if I don't?" Really, it wasn't as if she hadn't been shot before, that, and the woman would hesitate first before pulling the trigger – Lightning could dispose her of her gun in that amount of time.

"I'll use this…" The woman whispered, before taking a deep breath in. "Maybe not to your head, but you'll be feeling it – I assure you."

Ah, Lightning thought, so the woman does have a brain, quite a smart course of action. Except, of course, that the woman didn't have a mask on, or anything else to conceal her identity or voice. Of course, it was very dark out, and Lightning herself could just barely make out the woman's features.

Maybe this was more planned out than Lightning originally perceived it to be.

Not wasting a moment, Lightning brought her hand up, slamming her palm into the woman's right wrist, forcing it into the brick wall next to them. The woman let go with a cry, as the impact had been enough to tear flesh.

Lightning bent down and picked it up in one swoop of her arm, before holding it in one hand, directly between the woman's eyes.

Fear flashed through them, fear that made her back up a step, and begin to call out intelligible apologies. Her dark, wildly curly black – or brown, it was impossible to tell with the lack of lighting – brushed against the sides of her face as she shook her head, her thin, small hands waving in front of her as a form of surrender.

From behind the woman, a man turned onto the street.

She froze, before immediately focussing back onto the situation that was currently at hand, suddenly having a feeling of apprehension towards it all. It definitely _did not_ look good, especially when someone just walked into it.

"What are you doing?" The deep, only recently familiar voice rumbled behind her. The shock so large she accidently pulled the trigger as reflex, only to have the bullet forced off trajectory by the firm grip on her wrist, pulling it upward, so that the projectile flew harmlessly up into the air, completely missing the stuttering woman.

Lightning spun on her heel, staring wide-eyed at Noctis, the man she had only recently met, the man she had only recently behind at the restaurant.

He was staring intently at her, but she put up no resistance to how he held up her wrist, nor did she fight back or even glare at him. In fact, she should be thanking him, after all, killing an unarmed woman with a gun would be hard to be explained as self-defence, especially if she only pulled the trigger after a man who should have been far _behind_ the woman suddenly showed up _behind_ her.

"Possession of a weapon may not be illegal, but threatening someone with it unprovoked is, Lightning." He told her sternly, and, as odd as it may seem, a dull, yet exciting flutter raced through her stomach.

"It's not…" Lightning started, and when he raised an eyebrow, Lightning's surprised numbness fled, and all that was left was a dull irritation. "I was being mugged; however it just turns out that I'm well trained-"

"Trained? Oh, so you're a soldier."

"I was well-prepared for that certain situation."

He stared at her intently, before flicking his gaze onto the woman. Then, without a word, he reached into a pocket, pulled out a phone, flipped it open, and typed in a long number. He spoke a few words into it, enough for Lightning to conclude that he had called the police, however to who he called it in for, was still a mystery for.

"Ma'am." He called out to the stuttering woman, who froze when called, and stared at Noctis with wide-eyes. Lightning turned her gaze to Noctis, and almost smirked at the uncomfortable look on his face. "What happened?"

"I-I-I-" The woman stuttered, and instead of pressing for answers, Noctis turned back to Lightning and threw her a half-smile, much to her bafflement.

"Well, you're story's proven, Lightning – you can go. I'll wait until someone comes to apprehend her." He waved her off with a vague gesture and a fleeting smile. It was enough to send Lightning figuratively to the floor with shock. What the hell had just happened?

"What?" She blurted out, uncertainty and bewilderment slapped on her face. "What the hell? What just happened?"

"You curse?" He looked over, behind him to where she stood. The sudden turn in conversation had her mind reeling. Did she curse? Yes, of course she did, who didn't? She shook her head, attempting to bring him back to her original inquiry.

"Naturally. Why did you all of a sudden-"

"What? Believe in you?" He asked her, before he ruffled the hand that held his phone against the back of his head, looking sheepish whilst he did so. "No soldier would use such a sub-standard weapon, that's why. That, and instead of 'she' coming out, it was 'I'."

"Sub-standard?" Lightning echoed, before her eyes darted to the gun being held innocently. She noted the make, and then, her hazy knowledge of foreign weapons filled in the blanks for her. This gun had been recalled due to an issue with continuous jamming around three years ago.

"You're a soldier?" She asked him. Only someone that dealt with guns a great deal would notice something like that – something she herself missed, which in itself was impressive; Lightning hardly missed anything.

The woman was stuttering out apologies and pleas, but her words were a jumbled mess and Noctis seemed to be doing a good job in ignoring her, so she tried her best as well. The oddest part about the entire situation was, however, that the woman didn't seem to be running away at all. What was wrong with her?

Lights appeared in the distance, the blaring blue and red, typical of a police car, and it steadily sped over to them. It parked, and a man got out. He was big and gruff and the reflection of the lights cast an odd glow around his face, making it look sickly. Noctis gestured to the woman, and the man took her, without complaint, he himself as well ignoring the blubbering woman as he put her in cuffs and shoved her in the back seat.

She must have been dazed by something, because the next thing she knew, the car was gone and the two of them were standing alone on the dark street. "I suppose you're all right in getting back home, soldier?" Soldier, why did he keep calling her that? Was he so certain that she was one – which she was, but that was a moot point – that he couldn't call her by her name now?

"It's rude to call people by a collective noun, asshole." She bit out, now that the absurdity of the situation seemed to die down. He seemed to change, as well, like a façade had just fallen, he sighed and almost seemed to… _slump_, and dully she noted that only _he_ could make such an action look elegant. He frowned lightly at her, before looking away, up the street.

"I've never heard that before…" He mused, though as she watched him, she realised he actually meant it, and was sincere. "But that is what you are, isn't it? A soldier?" He glanced at her, and Lightning couldn't help the flutter in her stomach… that seemed to sink further.

He was a _very_ attractive man.

"Don't answer that." He muttered, and she found herself thankful, knowing full well that a soldier in enemy territory was just _asking_ for the war to start again. "The King… isn't very forgiving to militia." Then, despite his cool words, the sadness and… bitterness that showed on his face was undeniable. He began to walk away, without even a word of goodbye, but Lightning reached out and snagged his shoulder.

He stopped and turned to look at her, looking confused at her, and Lightning relinquished her hold as though it had burned her. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She couldn't form words because she had no idea what she wanted to say.

She was used to loud, brash people; people who could either take the spotlight from her or were easy to bicker with. He… was so different. Insulting him would almost feel like kicking a wounded puppy, though she had an inkling he had a higher defence than that. He was shy, but because of that she stuttered over her own words.

It was awkward as hell, being around him, and, before she could even fathom why she did it, Lightning reached out, grabbed hold of his shirt, and dragged him towards her, simultaneously leaning in her toes so she could reach his lips.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, for all you Lightis fans out there. I know I needed to update, but I only had this written, so, I'm just putting this up and then putting everything else down later. BUT! Before you Stella fans try and bite my head off - my other story is strictly for that pairing? Check it out, you might like it. Anyway, to you all, I'm sorry for not updating, life's been hectic, but then again, you all live so you should know what I mean XD. Now, the chapter or my poor attempt at humour deserve a review, don'tcha think? Read and Review, please! _


	14. Nightmares

R E C O L L E C T I O N

Chapter Fourteen

* * *

"Hey, Captain!" Shit, his nervousness bled through there. Then again, how couldn't it? He was _fucking_ defenceless and this man was the one who ordered… now was not the time to dwell on the past, no – his past was forfeit, what happened back then, it didn't matter anymore. The one thing that pissed him off, though, was that upon seeing him, his old Captain, he couldn't feel any hate. He should – but didn't.

"Like I said, Losian – you were a fucking dog back then, and dog's needed to be caged." The man pulled up on lip, showing a long scar where someone had put a blade in his mouth and jerked, creating a… forceful smile on his face. Ah, good times – when he was fucking high the majority of the times. His face needed shaving, badly, and his lips were cracked, as if they needed water. His hair was longer than it used to be – it now reached his shoulders in waves.

His captain always had been a fairly attractive man.

Even _she_ had agreed.

He grit his teeth, "Come now, Captain, you were more of a dog than I was," _in more ways than one_, but he left the last part unsaid. His old captain chuckled, and he reached into the pocket of his dark grey trench coat – a coat, Cy knew, was full to the brim with hidden weaponry, poisons, and explosives. His combat boots slid across the floor, scraping against Cy's ears, but he refused to wince.

After all, when Cy was under that man's command, they hadn't been on the field.

They had been in interrogation – and this man was the master at it. He knew how to get in someone's head, knew how to fuck with it, get what he wanted, and throw you away in such a manner that you were even more broken than if he hadn't.

Cy had been under his techniques – twice – and it was suffice to say he had lost his mind for a while. Heck, he probably still didn't have it back, but at least he could function normally.

"Ah, Cy – I'm going to have fun breaking you again – like I broke her, hmm? Maybe I'll get lucky – maybe you'll hang yourself like she did after I'm done." Ah, there it was, the anger.

The fear.

Now, which was stronger?

* * *

I woke with a start, from some twisted dream where a faceless man was yelling at me, screaming, but I didn't understand why, only for that man to become a woman, someone I felt safe with, comfortable with, content with.

She had raised her hand, as if she wanted me to take it, and when I reached out, suddenly there was a gun, and her finger on the trigger, she pulled, and I swore that a cold numbness had spread throughout my body like a disease.

I tried to control my breathing. Clenching my teeth didn't work, and I didn't want to wake anyone else up, so I forced my breathing to slow, despite the effort and strain it put on me. That's fine, the strain, and eventually, I allowed my breathing to flow naturally, and soon, it was near silent. That's better, much better.

It was dawn, twilight, the waking hour. When the sky was dark but the land glowed in an unearthly light. The dark blueness of the rubble made the scenery tragic, melancholic, wistful, like the soft breeze on a day of mourning, where everything seemed to slow and freeze, frozen in time and space, and in the small window, it allows you complete clarity.

Where was my clarity?

I scowled slightly. I had enough; second-guessing myself over silly and mundane matters. It didn't matter who I was before, because I was still him, he was still me, and if I never got those memories back…

I would make new ones. I didn't have a death wish, I wanted to live, for what I had no idea, perhaps it was just for the sake of living. It was possible I feared death-

No, think, are you scared of dying? I thought on it, on the idea. No, I didn't. I didn't fear it at all, actually, whenever I pictured it, dying for whatever reason, there was no fear, no pain, just a calm innocence to it that really didn't fit the picture death painted. It was like the dawn, dark, yet full of clarity and wistfulness.

I wasn't scared of death, but I didn't want to die. I could live with that.

"You're awake too?" A soft voice asked me, startling me slightly. I glanced over to its source, knowing full well that no one else appeared to be awake – maybe I didn't notice Vanille? My eyes settling on her and her wild bright red hair, I realised she merely spoke from her position.

"I am."

"Are you going to come with us?" She asked, her voice still soft, still quiet and so unlike what I could identify with Vanille that it seemed like some form of omen. "You can, you know, but you have to be prepared – the rest of us… don't have a choice, but you do."

"Where are you going?"

"To rescue Sazh and stop him from doing something stupid." Her reply was brisk, and as she shifted until she was in a sitting position, her legs crossed in front of her, arms resting lazily in the fold, she looked up at me, looking sadder than I had ever seen her before.

"You said something about him having a kid?" I asked, feeling apathetic in how much I surprisingly didn't care, but then again, it felt surreal to me, talking about someone I hadn't met and wasn't supposed to know. It was surprising and numbing at the same time.

Her eyes turned downcast, and she nodded. "We're L'Cie. When we complete our Focus, we turn to Crystal."

"_What_?" Who did this girl think she was talking to? I wasn't a moron; people couldn't just _turn_ into crystals… I gasped in pain.

"What is your name?"

"What?" Damn, it hurt, it felt like everything was on fire, and the voice was not Vanille's, or Hope's, or Fang's. It sounded like a million voices rolled into one, powerful, ancient, old, threatening, angry, _murderous_.

"It's true," Vanille continued on, evidently unaware of what was going on with me. I could barely grip onto the thought that it was odd, before the pain swallowed all coherent thought in a turbulent angry wave of molten fire.

Why didn't she notice? She was staring right at me now, it didn't make sense – the pain roared, and I screamed, but still, Vanille didn't notice. What… what…

"You made a deal," The voices started once more, "We bound you to this earth, We did…"

"Who… are you?" I gasped out, unable to grip onto anything coherent except for the pain and the voice. "What do you want?"

"We knew not your name, but we remembered our deal. Yours is more binding – do you not remember?"

"No!" What was going on? It didn't make any sense, what was going on, how did it work? I didn't get it, the pain. It danced along my nerves, at times along the others, others burning and submerging them into the most burning pain I had ever felt in my life. I wanted to die now, I wanted to – the pain was too much. It needed to end.

"We have kept back the price of using it, our power." The voices began once more. "It would do best not to forget.'

_But I did_. That was the part I couldn't stand. What the _hell_ had I forgotten? They had never been like this before, no, I didn't know that. "I remember _nothing_!" My voice was hoarse and worn, far too soon for the small amount of effort I used with them. What was going on? One thing, then another, I couldn't keep up.

"If that is the case, then you would do best to remember, Noctis…"

"I…" I gasped; trying to swallow but my tongue wouldn't hear of it, wouldn't produce any saliva to allow for the action. What was this? This hell

"Your memories are not lost, Noctis, and as you were the source of your own amnesia, you must deal with the issue: you will remember when you are ready, when you can accept the truth that is the lie of your life, but until then, it is best you life in the shallow feelings and glimpses you have. However," the voices turned harsher, darker, more maniacal and deranged, "wait too long and we will take our promised price, with or without you receiving your end of the bargain."

"I don't understand."

"You will…"

"_NOCTIS!_" Rapid shaking jostled me awake, and I bolted from where I had previously slumbered, scrambling to my feet, my eyes rapidly changing targets. What was that? That pain? The unbelievable pain and the feeling of obligation that made me feel as if I had to do something _now_. It wouldn't go away. It felt as if I needed to move _now_ and do something, do something important but I didn't know what.

My eyes fell on Vanille, who was on her knees her arms still extended from where she had shaken me. Fang was standing behind her, and was probably the one who had yelled. Hope was sitting next to the fire, glaring at me suspiciously.

The reason being came to me immediately.

I felt fine. Perfectly fine, healthier than I ever had or could recall feeling before in my life. As if all that pain had wiped away all the injuries from my body. I glanced down quickly, so confused, so very confused.

"I-"

"You don't have to say anything." Fang interrupted what would have probably been a pathetic excuse that I wouldn't even believe, because I couldn't explain it. "We've seen stranger things, and personally, I would prefer not to know some of them.

"Yeah," Hope barked out sarcastically, "like what we become if we don't finish this stupid Focus?" He bit out; apparently everyone was in bitter spirits this morning. I looked out; the sunlight streamed in patches. Different, but I wasn't certain if that was a good or bad thing. "I'm not saying we should leave him," Hope amended quickly, catching me off guard, but I figured Vanille had given him a look, "I didn't say that at all!"

"I could tell," Vanille inputted softly, "He could be of help."

Hope stared at her for a moment longer, before sighing and poking once more at the charred remains of the fire. "Fine," then, with a litheness I didn't know the awkward boy could process, he leaped to his feet, bounced on his heels and turned.

I had missed something; there was an argument on the air, it was as tangible as it was visible, but while I had been asleep – I assume I was – something significant happened.

The curiosity was already killing me.

* * *

_Three Months Earlier_

His mouth was wretched from hers before she could even taste him. She frowned immediately, and the innate worry that she wasn't desired in the slightest returned heavily once more. Had she read the signs wrong? Or, to be more accurate, were there any signs in the first place.

His head faced the ground, but when he did raise it, a scarlet flush had scattered along his cheeks and he looked embarrassed. Lightning paused, taking in the sight. It was… cute. It was very cute. So cute in fact, that if Lightning had been her sister, she would have cooed at him, and perhaps even pinched his cheek.

"I'm sorry." She told him numbly, still not certain what the huge issue was – was he simply not attracted to her? It would figure.

His lips crashed down on hers before she could even comprehend him moving. She gasped in shock, before she moved in pace with his. The sensation wasn't new, but it had definitely been a _very_ long time since anything of the sort had happened. What more, she actually felt like she was being _dominated_, in a sense.

The change was pleasant, and to be truthful, it finally felt like she was feminine.

She allowed herself to be backed into the brick wall, as Noctis' hands hesitantly but surely grazed her hip, before settling on her waist. He pulled her closer until she arched, and their stomach's pressed flush against one another, but their chests not. It made a welcome heat coil inside.

He was no virgin; she would have made fun of him if he were.

What was she supposed to do with her hands? Placing them at his neck seemed like such a waste, with how close his body was. Deciding to be bold, she hooked her first three fingers into his pant's waist, and pulled so that he was even closer to her, and with her other she slipped underneath his shirt until her slim fingers trailed along the muscled, smooth expanse of his back.

She clawed lightly at the creamy skin there, and in response, one of Noctis' hands slid down until he grabbed hold of her ass – an action that made Lightning blush heavily, and she thanked heavens that both of them had their eyes closed, and pulled her closer.

It seemed impossible, but there was still a closer afterwards.

It was not a closer they could reach with clothing in the way.

A blaring sound rang out, something Lightning was able to recognize as a cell phone ringer, but she didn't want to pull away, he apparently didn't either, because for the first two rings he stayed where he was, until he reluctantly pulled himself away. Lightning opened her eyes, and once more she was greeted with his flushed face.

How cute.

He glanced at her briefly, before looking slightly apologetic and answered his phone. He listened, but did not speak. She took the time to get her breathing back to normal. Whoever said that kissing left no space for breathing was a lovesick fool. It was called breathing through your nose, but still, never before had she felt _out of breath_.

Like she had forgotten to breath for a few moments, or maybe more, hopefully less. A blush spread across her face, so she turned her face away, hoping her hair hid her expression.

"I have to go."

Lightning nodded, and thankfully the cool air allowed for the blush to fade quickly – hopefully it was gone, and she didn't just think it did. Oh, right – she held out her hand, "you're phone." Slim metal was quickly placed in her palm, and she brought it towards her. It was a familiar design, so operating it was simple.

When her number was added, she handed it back.

Then she walked away, feeling proud for the dramatic exit – and the fact that Noctis' gaze presumably followed her the entire way, if he way he watched her as she turned the corner was any indication.

He was… more than cute.

Decidedly.

* * *

A/N: SOOOOO sorry for the long wait, but here it is, the next chapter! Hope you guys all like it! (I'm on a roll here; all I need to do is update one more fic then ALL of my work will be updated! Woo! Anyway, please, I know I don't deserve it, but review please?


	15. Unbelievable

Chapter FIFTEEN

"So, Noctis," Fang began, heaving a breath as she tossed her cloth pack onto her back and settled it until it was steady. "Are you coming?" She looked me up and down, almost hesitant, as if she didn't want to invite me along, however unfortunately for her, I did not have anywhere else to go – since, sad as it was, the only home I could remember was blown to bits and currently run amuck by – enemy, I suppose, they'd have to be _my_ enemy at least – soldiers.

I nodded, and as discretely as I could, while Vanille packed up the cooking supplies and Hope packed up his sleeping bag, I pressed lightly against my back, where broken, uneven skin of a heavy wound's scarring. I scowled lightly, before allowing my hand to trail along the skin, until it was met with another long, angry and wide scar from what had to be either shrapnel, or when I fell I got caught on some metal piece.

Not to be vain, but I honestly wanted to see what my own body looked like. Or what my face looked like. Though more the former than the latter, and that reasoning was simply to see the amount of scars that have accumulated on my skin.

I yawned, Vanille giggled at it, and I couldn't help but smile in return. "So, you're coming?" She asked, tilting her head to the side and giving me this hopeful look, I couldn't help but be confused.

"I am." I clarified. She mustn't have seen the nod, actually, not that I think on it, it was possible that Fang hadn't seen either, as she was still standing, looking out on the ruined city, the light of day reflecting off of her eyes and making them unreadable.

Not my problem.

I glanced over at Hope, but he was merely sitting on his pack and glaring off to the side, an angry pull at his lips and dip between his brows. I sighed. Well, it was ignorant of me to think that all would accept my accompanying them. Well, to be fair, there were only three of them, and Vanille _did_ seem to like it, while Fang was okay and Hope was really the only one who opposed it.

"Well," Fang sighed, rolling her shoulders and cracking her back in slow movements, "anyone know where we can get a car?"

"I saw one over there!" Vanille pointed out in the distance, jumping up on a flat chunk of building before turning to the rest of us. "Anyone know how to hotwire a car?" She asked, looking expectant. Hope shook his head, Fang scrunched up her face before nodding.

"I think I do."

_No, you don't_. The thought came to me, but I honestly had stopped caring about it. They will come, they will go – I can't really stop them. "Here," I began, though I honestly didn't know where I was going with it, "The cars run on a system of hydraulics and hydrogen, and because of that they can't be hotwired." Interesting. I actually knew something useful.

"How do you know that?" Fang asked, honestly curious, but Hope merely stared hard. I shrugged.

"I live here?" The sentence came out more of a question than anything. Fang raised a brow, but didn't comment.

"You live here." Hope echoed, his brow pinching together "Oh, right." He crossed and uncrossed his arms, while I managed to stand on feet I have not used in days. They felt shaky, almost as if I was walking on uneven ground rather than the clear concrete I actually was. "Do you know what happened here"

"We were attacked." It was stating the obvious, but it sounded better than 'I don't know' would have, so I stuck with it. I held out my hands in front of me as the world swayed, trying to stabilize myself – something that was actually harder than I thought it would be.

"Wow!" Vanille gasped, dragging the word out in wonder, I glanced up at her. I gave her the best confused expression I could manage, and she began to wave her hand just above her head, and then raised it higher, and waved it again.

"What are you doing?"

"You're so tall!" She exclaimed, before skipping over to where I was and then placing her palm against the top of her head, and she struck it outwards, until it hit my chest, about a palm's length away from my collarbone. "See?"

"Maybe you're just short, Vanille." Fang joked lightly, and Vanille murmured to herself a serious 'maybe', that was more comical than anything else the young girl had done. Before I knew it, a smile had grown on my face.

"If we can't hotwire any of the cars, how are we supposed to get to Province 8?" Hope asked, standing as well, bag on his shoulders.

"Province 8?" I asked, feeling very foolish and young asking it, even though it was very possible that I was older than all three of them – or at the very least older than the majority of them. Fang's age was a variable – she could either be young, or someone who aged gracefully, I couldn't tell.

"Sanctum has eight provinces," Fang explained, "come'on," she nodded and began to walk, "we need to find a garage and matching keys if we're going to get there on time."

"Whose fault is that?" Hope muttered bitterly, something that made Vanille's light bounce halt suddenly causing her to trip slightly, and Fang to sigh in length.

All three seemed to pause, hesitating, before they continued on with walking. "Sanctum has eight provinces," Fang started again, in what seemed like an effort to continue with conversation and not let an awkward silence fall around them.

Vanille looked at Hope, her gaze lingering, before she turned and jumped into my path, a bright expression on, but no smile. "Our home, Nexarrus, is actually the third province of Sanctum, and Hope is from Pallum Pollem, the first province."

"Vanille!" Hope tried to hiss, though it sounded more like a whine, and Vanille merely smiled brightly at him. Strangely enough the angst-filled teenager relaxed and looked off to the side, memory haunting his eyes in a very painful way.

"Anyway, Szah went to the eighth province to go and get his son: we need to go and find him." They climbed over rubble onto the street. "Before he does something stupid."

"Where is this province?"

Fang sighed, pausing slightly as she looked out and about along the empty road, her eyes squinting in the harsh light as broken shards of glass reflected and white concrete near glowed. "We thought it was here, but that's just the thing: It's not. That, and there's nothing around but wasteland, so I'm not even certain where we should be headed."

Well, that was useful. Quite useful indeed. I shifted uneasily, forcing my body to clam itself down. "Hey," Vanille interjected, tossing her hair to the side. "Um, Noctis, was it?" I nodded. "how did you get here?"

Should I lie? The first thought that came to my mind set my nerves on edge. What surprised me even more was that I felt no remorse for the thought, didn't feel like lying would be such a bad thing at all. I would probably be bad at it. Truth.

"A friend brought me here," oh, _shit_. Stella. Where had the blonde haired girl _gone_? My face must have shown more than I intended it to, because the others caught on. Fang rapidly tapped Hope's shoulder, who with a cry of indignation turned to face me. Vanille was blinking in confusion. "She's not here." _She wasn't there_. Where was she? I felt like cursing, and I did, only the three around me looked on with even more confusion.

I wonder if I spoke a different language. Never mind; there was no time for that. "We were attacked-" I began, and for the first time in awhile, I felt honest worry. "I don't really, I can't remember-" It was all fuzzy, and this brought on even more of a panic. _I couldn't remember_. Again.

"Okay, okay," Fang soothed, slowly, hands extended and face open, walked towards me. "We'll find her, where was the last time you two were together?" I didn't know, I couldn't remember. There had been loud noises and the place was large. Large – castle. And then Stella left and came back and then _gone_. Then I woke up with them.

I swore, tugging through my hair violently. Where could she have gone? I spun around on my heel, and began to pace. I got shot, my leg – my leg was fine. _She had been fine_. They had gotten out, but how? Where could she have gone?

"The castle." I managed. "We were at the castle… and then we weren't…" I pushed my thumbs against my temple in frustration. How could I have just forgotten about her? How was it that she only crossed my mind once?

"Okay then: we'll go to the castle." Vanille suggested with a shrug. I shook my head, in an effort to derail her course of action.

"It's crowded with…" Who again? "Sanctum soldiers."

All three froze, I barely noticed it, my pacing was rapid and uneven, and walking on debris and broken glass hardly made my efforts easier. "Then we have to go." Fang reasoned, and I forced my feet to stop. It was harder than it seemed to be, but instead I looked up at them.

"Why?"

"We… have a score to settle." Hope was quiet, calm and collected and I deeply yearned to be like that. I had been, until I realized I had forgotten someone's existence. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ The words came out differently than I thought they would have.

Fang sighed, and put a tired smile on. "We're looking for the eighth province, remember?" I nodded, I didn't need to, it was just an automatic response. "We thought this was it, but its not; best ask the source, no?"

Made sense. I nodded again, however it felt like a completely automatic response. There was no thought – I couldn't think. So much, someone wanting to be who I was, someone who doesn't care, a… _being _that threatened me…

I needed to sit. Wearily, I did so, though it felt more like I had simply collapsed. I tapped my hand against my knee rapidly. "I can't fight." Lie. I don't know how it was a lie, but it was. "I can't remember."

"Don't worry," Fang grabbed my forearm and dragged me back up, giving me an eye roll when I refused to comply. "It's like riding a bike: either that, or just dodge."

Reassuring. Completely reassuring. I gave her a dry look before forcing myself to my feet again. I gave a single nod, because I knew that anything that came out of my mouth would be contradictory to my actions and I didn't want to both with going through the scenario that would occur if I had.

I was getting high strung.

_Calm down_.

Fang looked me over with a contemplative glance, before nodding decidedly. "Alright then: let's go."

* * *

_Three Months Earlier_

She entered the apartment quietly, making sure that the door barely made a click, before sinking down on it. Um. Yeah. Wow. A light smile tempted her lips, and for the first time in a long time, Lightning felt like a girl – not a soldier, not a superior, not a capable woman. She felt like a silly girl in love, and it almost made her giggle.

Her mouth twitched. Okay, one. It was breathless and nearly silent, but it was a giggle, and to top it off, she twisted her body in a small, jerky, awkward movement – it was her victory dance. Yes, she never used it in front of people. But… she very much so felt like she had won.

She bit her lip, before retreating to the bathroom. She could hop around some more in there. It felt so strange doing those actions, but she felt honestly _tempted _to try them out. She also wanted to sing aloud that she had had a good date – however that was far too immature.

She barked out a laugh, before slamming her hands on her mouth. Serah had better not be home, otherwise she was going to get mauled for details. They had left earlier than Lightning had thought they would, so… maybe Serah and Snow were still out?

"Ha!" She chocked out. She then retreated to the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it just in case her sister decided to arbitrarily appear out of nowhere. She flicked the light on, and glanced at her reflection. Her cheeks were red, she had a smile on, and for the first time – _it was okay_. She felt giddy and just plain _happy_.

She was not in love. She didn't believe in love.

She did not have a crush.

Her blush deepened, and with a frown she turned the tap to cold and turned it on. She flapped the water to her face, before another string of laughter erupted from her. What was wrong with her? Honestly, she had gone on dates before, had gotten the awkward first time done and over with, and this was the first time that she had felt so… _happy! _

What the hell was wrong with her?

Her phone rang, and she lazily fished it out of her pocket. It was an unfamiliar number, and while she frowned she couldn't help the fact that her toes curled in anticipation. She accepted the call, and pressed it to her ear, her fingers crossing, just for the hell of it. "Hello?" She forced her voice to stay even.

"Hello." The voice replied quickly. "This is Lightning, correct?" His voice was uncertain, and that was just… cute. Dammit. Stop thinking that.

"That's correct." Was this a form of flirting? She never really had flirted before, never really thought it necessary. Serah said it was, to tell a guy without telling him that you were interested, but she never really understood.

"Right."

"Right." She repeated, because it seemed too early to call. Wasn't there some three day waiting period, as Serah said?

"To be blunt," he began, before clearing his through slightly. "I would like to ask you out for some drinks." Lightning blinked in slight shock, before her toes began to curl and uncurl in a very strange manner. She looked down and blinked at them.

"Where?" She couldn't really think of much else. Oh, right. "When?" Say something else, something else! "I mean, doesn't it seem a little early to call? Or late?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "No," he said finally, "we didn't really finish anything regardless."

Her face heated up, and she rolled her eyes. Right, either she was the only thinking of the dual meaning between his words, or she simply had not _done it_ in a _very long time_. _Not that I would mind, of course_. She nodded, practically stupidly. Stop it, your scaring yourself Lightning. "Where and when?"

"It's called The Blue Ravine, on Gale Avenue." He sighed, and she heard distant voices somewhere far off. "I'm already there."

So it was an impromptu decision. For some reason, that suited him better. People who thought things through too much lost the big picture. She breathed in and out. "I'll have to change into something more… suitable." Suitable meaning less, however he didn't need to know that. Serah may be an expert in love, but she was far more suitable in terms of getting laid.

Now she wanted both.

Shit. How exactly would someone go about getting _both_? "I've got to go." Lightning said quickly, her hand hovering over the end call button before Noctis responded.

"All right. See you then." He sounded shocked; his words were rigid. That was perfectly fine. She set the phone down, before throwing open the door, the action only possible because of the click in lock that allowed exist at any moment, before hurrying into the hallway.

She turned lights on, and then rushed over to her suitcase, stepping out of her shoes along the way. She unzipped it in a hurry, and then began to rummage through what she owned. Formal, professional, professional, casual, casual, there.

She pulled it out. It being the only thing she had ever bottom that resembled a dress, it being something Serah did not know about. It, being black, slightly see-through, with crossing fabric arms. It being the sexiest thing she had ever been in.

_Why did I bring this in the first place? _She frowned at it, before tossing it on the bed and unzipping the dress she owned off. In an instant it pooled around her feet and she grabbed the silky fabric and threw it over her head. Black bra and underwear could be seen, yes, however it was hardly indecent. She checked the sleeves, making sure that the crossed fabric was all in order, before groaning when realising that it wasn't. She tugged her arms out, and redid it.

This time is was perfect.

She didn't have the matching shoes, but black on black worked fine. _I don't understand why I'm more comfortable in this dress than the other one_. It was probably because it covered her entire cleavage, but had far less thigh. She was comfortable with showing her legs, comfortable with dimly see thought things, not comfortable with deep V-necks or that… _other _dress.

First of all, it had been red, fine, the colour was fine, not her favourite, but fine. Second, it had an empire waist and was… just _girly_. She didn't look good in girly – at all. The dress would have just made her puke.

Her black one was fine.

Whatever, like being a hypocrite was a sin. She shrugged. It was only see through in the sense that around her bra it was pitch black, around her skin it was slightly lighter. That was hardly enough to make a fuss over anyway.

She tousled her hair slightly, shoved the heels back on as she did so, then walked back out the door, pausing at the bathroom to collect both her phone and her purse, before leaving out into the night, her pace much faster than it had been before.

* * *

_A/N: Really SORRY for the time since my last update, however unfortunately I cannot guarantee anything on when he next chapter will be done. So, read and review please! Reviews really are my only incentive to updating, so their KINDA important..._


	16. Imposter

__R E C O L L E C T I O N

Chapter Sixteen

* * *

_3 Months Earlier_

With foresight, Lightning would never have gone that night. However foresight is a gift that humanity had yet to be graced with, and so her feet took her to the door, and then her hands hailed a cab, and she drove to Blue Ravine. Nerves assaulted her gut in sharp pinches that were wholly unwelcome. She collected spit, swallowed, collected more, rolled the window down and spit. The cab driver grunted in displeasure, and she rewarded him by flipping him off.

This was possibly the first time that she had ever performed spontaneity. It was the first time she had gone to a bar – or a club – with a date. It was the first time the feeling of vomit rising along her throat felt good. It also made her sick, the sharp corner made her eyes flutter and she curled her thin arms around her stomach and leaned forward.

She didn't _get_ carsick, and somewhere near the back of her mind it suggested she had morning sickness – a ridiculous and impossible notion. She hummed the laugh, not willing to open her mouth. "Are you alright?" The driver asked her warily, his voice full of unbidden contempt. She lifted a hand to placate him, and he said nothing else directly. "Don't throw up in my car, you stupid bitch." – That was muttered, not for her ears, and in order to distract herself she imagined beating his face in.

She had been told violence suited her once by one of her many escapades, however the truth was that she wasn't very good at articulation. There was a reason she was not in politics; there was a reason she was in the army. There were reasons she wanted out sometimes when she was alone and had time to think in the dark of her bedroom.

She was _good_ at fighting, she was good and getting the job done, and that was why this impromptu back-to-back date was as nerve-racking as it was exciting – too much for her stomach to handle, evidently.

The car glided to a stop in what must have been an effort to not send projectile vomit on the back of the front seat of his car. She gratefully got out, turning and pulling out the relatively high price for the drive, and handing it to him. He didn't count; she had short-changed him.

Outside she felt better, the icy winds cooling off the sweat that started to accumulate at the back of her neck. It quelled her raging stomach until it once more was lackadaisical, and she sighed in relief. Carsickness, huh? A wry smile curled along her face and she walked up to the building, before pausing and noting it.

It was one of the high-class clubs, glass a dark blue served as the walls, with black columns supporting them. She couldn't hear the music, impressively enough, however she could feel the vibrations in her heel. There were two bouncers, both tall and muscular and _slow_ but they always got the job done. One was a redhead, with a thick dusting of cinnamon freckles and a boyish face that was out of place on his muscular physique. The other, a tall, dark-skinned man with strong and regal features had short dreadlocks that hung to his ears.

She smiled at them, them being attractive enough to smile at. The dreadlock one smiled openly back, the redhead looked nervous. "I have a date." She explained. The lists held in their hands screamed the club's inclusivity.

"With who?" The redhead was terse, his mouth set into a hard line and he was put on edge by the dull look that she gave him.

"Is that any way to treat a guest?" She tilted her head, the easygoing man laughed. He patted her shoulder in a show of good faith and she turned her attention back to him.

"What's your name?" He asked, holding the list up to prevent her from committing identity thievery – he would have to check her ID regardless, however he had learned a trick or two.

"Lightning." She had not told him any other name. She wouldn't for a long while.

"Just Lightning?"

"It's an old nickname," she explained, "it's the only one I gave him."

He shrugged and looked on his list, his finger running down, and flipped the paper, down, flip, down. "There you are." He stated, his eyes hovering on the name. "Quite the date you have there." His wrist twitched and the rolled over paper fell back into place. "I don't suppose your ID will have the name 'Lightning' on it will you?

"No," she agreed, "However my S.E. ID will."

"S.E.?" The redhead asked. "I've never heard of it."

"Calm down, Natz." Natz, the redhead, huffed and looked away. "Don't mind him, second night on the job and he's already having problems."

She kept the choice words on her tongue to herself. "That's fine." She opened her purse and fished out the tiny card that declared her Claire (Lightning) Farron

"I still don't know what S.E. is _Tam_." Tam laughed at Natz's bitter retort.

"Haven't been past the borders, huh? S.E. – Standard Employment ID." Tam rolled his eyes and held out his hand for the ID. Lightning couldn't help but critique them on their unprofessionalism. Deftly she handed them the card and he nodded, before opening the door, a full rush of heavy, bass dominant music blared through.

Without a second's hesitation, regardless of how much she felt she needed it, she walked on through. The doors parted, and the thrumming under her feet excelled, numbing her legs. One more set, these airtight, keeping the sound to a low thrum. She gripped the handle, pulled, the sound broke through her eardrum in a crash of waves.

She swayed slightly, the smells musky and thick, the sights a maze of a mixture of colour and texture. Now, she thought, her hands gripping the door tightly, where would he be?

Letting go of the doors, she immersed herself amongst the bodies, the moving mass a hard sea to travel. Eventually, elbowing others out of the way, and after stepping on quite a decent set of toes, she managed to snag quite the real estate.

The bar was glossy, black, there were strips with movement, and it was a shock to her that within the heavy furnishing a large fish tank existed as art. It was quite interesting, as the colourful fish were quite the distraction as the bar tenders busied themselves with making their drinks.

"Care for something?" Her head snapped up, into a petulant looking face. The pout, even she had to admit in her good mood, was cute. Give her some fresh air and she was sure she would slap it off. Instead, she crossed her arms and raised a brow. Wait for it, really.

He blinked, before shaking his head – and the expression off. "Sorry, I've been doing this without pay for eight hours now."

Too bad. She pursued her lips and clicked her tongue. "Can I get you anything, ma'am? "

"Do I look that old to you?" She wanted to watch him squirm. It made it even more entertaining due to the fact that he appeared to be her age.

"With that sort of response," damn kid was quick, "I'd say so."

"Cy!" A voice called out, and the blonde kid groaned and placed hands on his ears.

"Not now, not now…" He repeated the words in a mantra, even as the other bar tender, nearly twice in age and half a head less in height, pulled on his ear. "You owe me, remember? Now serve the miss her drink before I go charge you for shooting up my bar!"

"It looks great now though!" Cy ducked under the man, cornered in the bar, but seemed to be seriously considering jumping over it. "Look, there are more people now then before!"

"Which is why you're here, working it off, you lazy asshole."

"Language, jeez."

"Like your one to talk!" The older man froze for a moment, looking over his shoulder at the something behind the blonde haired bimbo. Lightning's gaze followed more amused than upset, and her gaze landed on Noctis.

She blinked, and Cy turned around to look too. Then, he jumped back and grabbed Noctis' skull in a loose headlock. "Noct, he's being unfair!" The blonde whined, pointing. "He wants me to do all this work – I mean, man, I did him a favour and everything!"

Noctis' face was split with a grin, "I'm not in this." He stated, slipping out of the hold. Cy flailed, falling on the bar, much to some patron's amusement and others' ire. Lightning laughed, gaining Noctis' attention, before another grin settled on his face.

She couldn't help but smile and wave to him.

* * *

_Present_

It was a sickening case of déjà vu, being here again. Only this time it seemed to be deathly quiet, so eerie and still. I could still see dried blood, or was that just my imagination? I felt like swearing, words started that weren't the language I had been using.

"There are supposed to be here?"

"It's the King's palace." I knew that, it sounded more like a fact – like how the sun rose and set, or how to switch a light. "Where better to go?"

"I'm not in the mood for subterfuge," Fang loosened her muscles, rolling them. "Ready to just storm it?"

"I am." Hope relinquished his weapon, Fang rotated the long spear in her wrists. Vanille danced lightly on her toes, holding something I couldn't even begin to attempt to describe.

"Just stay back and try not to get hit, alright?" Fang pushed my shoulder, I assume it was in companionship, because her grin didn't say 'I was really trying to hurt you' or anything of the sort. I nodded, another hazy fog clouding me.

She was gone, Vanille was tugging on my arm, Hope hesitated, waiting up for Vanille. I couldn't help but think of him as replacement for someone – I really couldn't. Who? A headache had started to come on, I could barely see.

There was no one on the front, no one, but it was a lie. Fang was going to die – how did I know that? How… I shook myself, but it felt like something else was invading my brain. Like someone else, and fear gripped me. I couldn't shake it, couldn't shake the feeling that _this_ was the other me, the one I forgot and left behind.

I didn't want to disappear; I didn't want to die in replacement. I didn't, I didn't want to loose control, even if I would gain control. I didn't want the headache; I didn't want any of it. I faltered; Vanille was pulling on my arm. She was trying to say something. I couldn't… I just couldn't hear.

"_Stop her_," I rasped, not knowing why, not even in control. I didn't say that, this… thing, parasite, was. It forced my lips and my tongue and blew air through my teeth. Stop her… why? Vanille's brows furrowed, Hope paused, he called to someone, hopefully to Fang. Stop her, stop her, and stop her why?

"Is something wrong?"

It was going to happen. The burning along my temple, the fits, it was going to start. What, where? I felt like my head was going to shrink, or as if my brain was getting too bit. _Too bad you weren't expecting it_.

You needed to remember, right? I shoved the heels of my palm into my skull, pressing as hard as I could. _"A little longer," _my body rasped, "_Just a _little_ bit longer." _

It was gone, but now Vanille was no longer in front of me and the sound of bullets was too apparent. Rolling my head around, I tried to see. I couldn't. It was too dim, I _couldn't see_. But I could. No, there was the grass, there was the castle, where were the people?

Then, I saw. No, rather I noticed. There were a few guards, Fang and Vanille slaughtering them in a manner that would bring a curse upon their entire bloodline. Where… no how? The rarity of the Crystals would not allow them to simply use it as they please.

Yet… there they were. Singed bodies fell to the floor, even by Hope, my appointed guard. "We need… to get inside." My voice felt so hoarse, I felt eyes on him, pressing in from every direction. I couldn't let _them_ see me. I didn't know who _they_ were.

"What?" Hope asked, catching and throwing his weapon.

"Get inside." I repeated, this time following through with my own words. Inside, the massive front, up the long steps and then a throne. Right, right wing, left, left wing, straight ahead, the kitchens, the dungeons down below. Right in the heart. In the throne room that was a prison in its own right.

The fake thrown. The empty room with a high chair and frozen angels, the place that was created as a punishment. It signified dishonour. It was fake. No thrown would ever be right inside from the door. Those passageways were hidden, the entire building was a mass of a maze.

I knew.

I didn't know why.

Up the steps, I dimly realized people were shooting, I didn't care why they didn't hit, or why my entire body burned with a fever as I ran up. It felt horrible, like I was dying, however once inside it was completely up to me. I knew the paths, I knew how to fight inside. Outside, storming it, wouldn't work.

This palace needed to be cleansed, to be erased from the blood of its enemy. I hated those words, they felt like echoes from a despised foe. A hand landed, and spun me. I blinked, too dazed to care much for who it was that did it.

Fang's face met mine. Not touching, but her nose was close enough that any slight movement would tap our noses. "What?" I asked, irritated, I needed to get inside, not linger outside the doors.

"What?" She hissed, "What are _you_ doing?"

"Fighting them would be easier inside." I answered. Simply. It didn't match my conflicting maelstrom inside. "I know the layout."

She frowned. "You do?"

"I don't know why though." Best to clear that up. She looked off to the side, Vanille, she looked to Vanille – she was there. She took a step back and I saw Hope was there too.

There were enemies at the base of the stairs. Flashes of a similar situation burned against the back of my eyelids. I opened the door and shoved Fang inside, Vanille following quickly, Hope following quickly. His eyes were wary.

What had he seen? Then, as those outside lifted their weapons, and I was well aware of my impending death, I swore I could hear a scream.

Bullets showered the sky.

I swore they darkened it.

My vision blacked out.

* * *

Lifting his hand, wisps of incongruent cracks formed around, breaking, shattering the reality around it. Flashes of weapons appeared, each one fracturing as bullets hit them, spinning, faster, faster, reality breaking away at the seams like shattering glass.

Enough was enough.

It wouldn't last long, the forceful cloud would awaken, the imposter would come back. Lightning was most likely in the basement, locked up with the others. She would need to find a way to break him out, to free him from the mental chamber that _they_ shoved him in.

It was happening again, the result should be no different.

He paused, the burning enveloping his body in a disease, spreading along his system like death, and then, in a burn of heat he left, to the side and rammed a spear up into and through a man's skull, helmet and all. No mercy. He had enough; it was because he gave mercy that he was no struggling to get the imposter out, to get him out, out.

He wanted to see her again, dreaded it, but still wanted to. Grabbing and reaching he caught hold of the gun of the dead man, the spinning around him increasing as weapons swirled and ducked even as he held the gun and fired into the crowd.

Enough was honestly – _enough_.


End file.
